Cat care for DSis holiday

[CatTrouble]

DM and DSis are going away together at the start of November. DSis has 3 cats who were going to be cared for by a neighbour but the neighbour can no longer look after them.

DSis has asked other neighbours, friends and now me, as they’ve all said they can’t. I have also had to say I can’t due to other commitments which they’re aware of and with my sisters house being over half an hours drive from my house, I can’t fit it in with everything else. The cats would need 2 visits due to needing medication. I said she’d have to book them into a cattery but it turns out 1 cat isn’t up to date with vaccinations (can’t have them due to previous reaction) so the cattery won’t take them.

My DSis found out that my oldest DD is coming home from uni for that week as she has a reading week. DSis sent me a text saying ‘oh thank god, <insert my DD name> will be able to look after them, I was starting to think I’d have to cancel my holiday’. I felt annoyed at the presumption that my DD would do it but rather than say anything, I asked my DD if she’d want to do it. She was also annoyed at being taken for granted but has said she can’t do it anyway as she has reading and work to complete, has made other plans with friends for some of the time she’s here and has managed to get a few shifts at her old part time job. I said that’s all understandable so I have let DSis know that my DD can’t have the cats.

DSis and DM are annoyed and I’ve been told I’ve raised a selfish DD. I’ve said she’s not selfish, she’s busy and the cats aren’t her responsibility. They’re now asking if my other children can do it which they can’t due to being at school, college, working, not driving and one having an allergy to cats. DM has called me almost in tears that their holiday will have to be cancelled. I suggested a cat sitter and got grumpily asked whether I think they’re stupid and of course they’ve tried that but they can’t find one with availability. They genuinely seem to think we are being unreasonable by not helping. Are we?

Your sister’s lack of organisation does not constitute an emergency for you. She is being unreasonable and unfair to tell you your dd should do it then get arsey with you. Just back off and let her actually get organised. There are options, but as pp mentioned, she doesn’t appear to want to pay the price. Having 3 cats looked after is going to be expensive. I used to book the kennels before the holiday back when we had holidays. It added considerably to costs, but I wanted secure and good quality care.

There are cat sitting agencies online

Most people with full time jobs, families and pets of their own couldn’t spare 2 hours+ per day for a week to see to someone else’s cats. It’s a massive ask. Fair enough asking a neighbour or someone who is maybe 10 minutes away.

Why are you even getting involved?

You have told them that neither you or your family members can help.

They are your sisters cats, your mum and sisters holiday so nothing to do with you. Just step back and let them sort it - if they have to cancel that isn't your problem!

What county do they live in or nearest city - perhaps MN readers can suggest options?

I'd feel a lot less sympathetic and willing to help someone (including family) if they had just said I was selfish or that my child was selfish for not wanting to drive a couple hours a day, every day, to help them out.

I'd also wonder if they've actually pursued every avenue or just don't want to pay what it costs to get someone in to help.

Clarabell77

they actually could for a few days first thing in the morning/ last thing at night/ around their schedule. I work ft, 4 kids, still help out neighbours and family helping them get to hospital appointments etc. it’s just an extra juggle

So the DD or the OP have to get up an hour and a half earlier in the morning, and get home an hour and a half later at night? That goes well beyond juggling.

I'm with others OP, that you should go on the cat sitting sites and find someone. Preferably several. Not to help them out, even if that's a by-product, but to get them off your back. They're calling you selfish because you're 'their only option'. Take the wind out of their sails. Tell them they didn't look hard enough.

Nothing OP has written could give you the idea that DD is in any way up for this. She wants to spend time at home with her family, which of course includes OP. She doesn't want the week to be spent in a way that mitigates against this. You're volunteering her and her mother for a setup that you've been told is not what she wants.

If you want to pretend that we can't be certain until OPs explicitly stated DD wouldn't be up for whatever half baked plan you want to throw together in the absence of any indicators that it would be accepted, the same rule applies to you claiming it's a potential solution.

DH and I pet sit and live in the house with the pets while the owners are away.
We do this for free as we are newly retired and like visiting the South west and Cornwall without having to pay for a hotel, with the added bonus of having pets to play with.
Thousands of other people are doing this too.
It's win win.
Look at Trustedhousesitters.com or Housesitters.uk

Your mum and sister expect you or your daughter to take around 3 hours out of your day to look after sister's cats. Not even as a one-off, but every day they are away.

When you said this wouldn't work, they called you selfish. When you put forward other options, your mum called you stupid.

Wow.

OP, I agree with pp who suggest your sister could find other solutions, but she just doesn't want to pay for them.

Stick to your guns, OP! Best of luck to you

Use the Rover app, I am a catsitter on there and you can get help at short notice for low prices. YNBU btw x

This would annoy me so much. Especially the bit about vaccinations not being up to date. If you are going on holiday, EVEN if you have a pet sitter, all vaccinations should be up to date. What if the pet sitter breaks a leg? What if something happens? They will have to go to a cattery/kennels!

So annoying.

Anyway, I would be seething, but I would probably try and work out a rota with various family members and say she owes you a massive favour. If it's not possible then, it's not possible.

This would annoy me so much. Especially the bit about vaccinations not being up to date. If you are going on holiday, EVEN if you have a pet sitter, all vaccinations should be up to date. What if the pet sitter breaks a leg? What if something happens? They will have to go to a cattery/kennels!

The OP did say that one of the cats can’t have vaccinations though.

This is not an extra 'juggle' this is a whole week of making other people's days ridiculously long at start and finish for a week so others can go on holiday but are too tight to actually pay for their own pets to be cared for. Doesn't exactly come into the same category as helping a neighbour (ie someone close by) or taking someone to a one off hospital appointment. It also involves emotional blackmail in this case and a very entitled attitude by the OPs relatives. It also means that if the OP gives into this cheek she'll be expected to do it again. You have pets, you accept that if arrangements don't work out you have to deal with it properly. In November there will be cat sitter availability, so that denial on the sisters part is rubbish. Does not want to pay- it would after all reduce her holiday spending money!

I suspect this is to do with the cost of a cat sitter and not wanting to pay. In my area, it’s around £30-£35 a day for two half hour visits!

If you stay firm, I’m sure they will magically find someone. I had a similar situation a couple of years ago, where my two regular cat sitters were unavailable. I put a post on Facebook and found another one quite easily!

then you do it

@Autumnalhibernationisthedream

Would your husband and son take time out from work and studying to spend 3 hours per day cat sitting?

Or is it only expected from you and your daughter?

They should have made arrangements with a cat sitter or cattery sounds like they don't want to pay i have a cat but he goes in the cattery when where on holiday ,wouldn't dream of putting the responsibility on someone else

Is there something about the cats that are putting people and/ or cat sitters off?

My DD lives in a flat with her cat. When she goes on holiday we usually look after him at our house. However, if she is just away for one night or something she gets a cat sitter to go in twice a day. Apparently there is somewhere you leave reviews but, like Airbnb, it works both ways. I.e you review the sitter but they also review you and your cat.

Fortunately our DGcat has 5 star reviews because he is a little darling. But I wonder if your sister's cats' review is something like:

"Tiggy is a little bastard who gave me a nasty scratch and Tabby shits all over the place but never in the litter tray".

Maybe that would make a sitter more difficult to find.

"I'm not stupid, we've rung around and no-one has any availability" clearly means "I had a look and it's expensive so I'm just going to brow beat you / your DD into doing it."

I know you don't want to make any more suggestions but I suspect from the many sites PPs have listed you could find at least 3 options and send a breezy message saying, phew you've managed to find some with availability! What are the odds?! Problem solved 😁 You're likely to get an arsey response but at least it will clearly highlight they're taking the piss.

I completely understand why you wouldn't want to make two visits a day when it's a half hour drive each way. That would mean losing at least two and a half hours out of your day every day which is a ridiculous commitment for them to expect you to make. But if it could be reduced to one visit a day would you and/or your DD be prepared to cover it; maybe by taking it in turns?

I know you said they need two visits because of medication but can that medication be administered in food? What I am getting at is an automated cat feeder, the sort of thing that works on a timer.

DD has one for DGcat. She doesn't use it if she is going to be away overnight, she gets a cat sitter then. But if she knows she is going to be working late she uses it for her boy gets his evening meal at the usual time.

DSis also has one. In her case the neighbour is always happy to pop in to see to the cat when she is away; however, the cat is now elderly and thrives best on several small meals a day rather than one big one. DSis thinks it is too much to expect the nice neighbour to keep popping in and out to accommodate this so she has the automated feeder and has shown the neighbour how she can just set it up with all the meals for that day and then leave it.

So, just a thought. If you felt you could manage to cover one visit a day and your sister was prepared to shell out for an automated feeder, or three, might that be a solution?

Tell her to put a post on the local Facebook page. I got loads of responses when I had to do this.

nomas

I don’t have daughters. Our family has all mucked in taking care of animals or helping people out it’s just something I feel strongly about because any help is a huge relief!!

Yes I bet you are right about the cost.

As I said up thread, DD uses a cat sitter if she is just going to be away only one or two nights, any longer and he comes to us. He is used to our house and I love having him. Her cat sitter costs £12 per visit and I assume that is the going rate

With three cats I don't know how the charges would be affected, whether it's still £12 per visit or whether they add on something extra per additional cat. But two visits a day would presumably cost at least £25. If they are going away for a week then she is probably looking at the thick end of £200.

Most likely it's not a case of no cat-sitter available but they have just balked at what it will cost.

Incidentally, @CatTrouble, when your sister has been trying to press you or your DD in to doing this as she even suggested covering your petrol costs, which I assume would be considerable if you did two hours driving a day to get there and back.