Cat care for DSis holiday

[CatTrouble]

DM and DSis are going away together at the start of November. DSis has 3 cats who were going to be cared for by a neighbour but the neighbour can no longer look after them.

DSis has asked other neighbours, friends and now me, as they’ve all said they can’t. I have also had to say I can’t due to other commitments which they’re aware of and with my sisters house being over half an hours drive from my house, I can’t fit it in with everything else. The cats would need 2 visits due to needing medication. I said she’d have to book them into a cattery but it turns out 1 cat isn’t up to date with vaccinations (can’t have them due to previous reaction) so the cattery won’t take them.

My DSis found out that my oldest DD is coming home from uni for that week as she has a reading week. DSis sent me a text saying ‘oh thank god, <insert my DD name> will be able to look after them, I was starting to think I’d have to cancel my holiday’. I felt annoyed at the presumption that my DD would do it but rather than say anything, I asked my DD if she’d want to do it. She was also annoyed at being taken for granted but has said she can’t do it anyway as she has reading and work to complete, has made other plans with friends for some of the time she’s here and has managed to get a few shifts at her old part time job. I said that’s all understandable so I have let DSis know that my DD can’t have the cats.

DSis and DM are annoyed and I’ve been told I’ve raised a selfish DD. I’ve said she’s not selfish, she’s busy and the cats aren’t her responsibility. They’re now asking if my other children can do it which they can’t due to being at school, college, working, not driving and one having an allergy to cats. DM has called me almost in tears that their holiday will have to be cancelled. I suggested a cat sitter and got grumpily asked whether I think they’re stupid and of course they’ve tried that but they can’t find one with availability. They genuinely seem to think we are being unreasonable by not helping. Are we?

Why don’t YOU check Cat in a Flap - I’d be amazed if there was no one available. Then tell them.

Did you ask your Dsis about catsitters? I can only see that you spoke to your mum about it. She isn't the pet owner, perhaps is more prepared to lie to you, or is more accepting of your sister's story.

Frankly, like others and yourself, unless she lives very rurally, I do not believe that there isn't a wide selection of sitters available. If she has actually looked into it, it will be the cost putting her off. I used to be a catsitter and I could always fit in an extra client for home visits, especially during a non-peak period.

Your sister is over half an hour's drive from your house you say, so if that's each way and it'd be 2 x daily visits - that's over 2 hours travelling each day. That's ridiculous and your DM & DSis have no business expecting that from anyone.

Why don’t YOU check Cat in a Flap - I’d be amazed if there was no one available. Then tell them.
Why is it the posters responsibility?

It isn’t, but at least she’ll know if they’re genuinely are no cat sitter, or if they’re trying to avoid paying £30 a day.

I absolutely guarantee that there will be someone in their local area (a retired person, a SAHM, a university/college student, etc.) who, for the right price, will be willing to pop into your sister’s house twice a day while they are on holiday. Whether your sister is prepared to pay that price is another matter, but either way, it’s not your circus not your monkeys!! Her trying to make it your family’s problem is utterly ridiculous and entitled behaviour, and if my mum spoke to me like that I would be putting her on the “naughty step” until she’d apologised for being rude.

I really doubt this is true. (I have a cat btw and use sitters and a cattery from time to time). I think they’re just saying this so you do it.

To me, this sounds like they don't want to pay for a sitter or similar service.
I understand some people don't want strangers in their house, but it's very entitled to assume that family members with their own busy lives will drop everything to look after cats at their own expense.
Does you sister reciprocate when you need her help? If so, maybe you could look at a rota of family members, if some of the petrol is paid.
If not, then it's their problem to solve. I'm sure they have options - but probably not at the price they'd like to pay.

Absolute narnsense that they can’t get a sitter.

I guess they’ll have to cancel their holiday.

It's a bit mean. I live about an hour away from my sister on the bus and I would still pet sit for her if she was out of other options. Not twice a day admittedly but definitely once.
Between you, your DD and your other kids I'm sure you could sort something out.

then you go and do it. I see the Be Kind mob are out in force today.

its over two hours travelling time a day plus the time in the house to give the food and meds. That’s far more than I would call an “inconvenience”!
Your sister is being completely ridiculous, OP.

This reminds me of my mum who just can’t find a gardener. No, it means she can’t find a gardener who is willing to come over to her house to do one hour’s work for £20 every week.

I'm sure if the sister was "motivated" enough she could try harder to find a pet sitter/housesitter. I suspect she just (a) doesn't want to pay and (b) doesn't want a stranger in her house. Depends how much she wants to go on holiday doesn't it?

Bloody cheeky of her to just decide OP's DD can do it. Has she offered to pay her anything, even if it's less than the going rate? Money is quite motivating. Sister might as well accept that now.

Edit - sorry I've just seen sister has offered to pay DD something but she can't because she's booked to work. Jobs that fit around uni are like gold dust so of course she can't piss off her employer.

The ‘thank God X can do it’ without actually asking her, would have really got up my nose! Your sister is a complete chancer!

Looks like they will have to cancel their holiday. That is her fault, nobody else’s!

She needs to put a message on a local Facebook/area site and throw money at it!

This reminds me of my mum who just can’t find a gardener. No, it means she can’t find a gardener who is willing to come over to her house to do one hour’s work for £20 every week.
Hang on. That's MY mum. She's pissed off all the gardeners in the area and now we, her children, in our late 60s, are expected to drive 90 minutes and do her garden.

Of course you're not being selfish. And they are not correct that no cat sitter can do it - it will just be that the price is more than they want to pay. It's a lot to ask and it's absolutely fine to say no.

They ABU for dissing your DD, so yeah. Rude. But I have to say, if my sis was taking one for the team and going on holiday with my mum, I'd do what I could to facilitate. Could they compromise? An evening drop-in once a day? Could you alternate with your DD to do that? Or go with her? Chat on the way.

Alternatively, do they have any mates who use dog walkers? I know my dog walker does home visits and if you paid her, she would deffo consider dropping in to feed a cat.

The cats aren’t your problem but you and your family do sound selfish. Surely your DD could „read“ at your sister’s house and structure the cat visits around her shift work - presumably she works max 8 hour shifts.

Where is the magical time to do this going to come from? It's 1 1/4 hrs per visit for OP. Two visits a day.

She’s called your daughter selfish and criticised you as her parent so she can fuck off and if she has to cancel her holiday that’s on her. Cheeky cow.

its over two hours travelling time a day plus the time in the house to give the food and meds. That’s far more than I would call an “inconvenience”!
I would look at some days only doing once a day. See if a neighbour could do one day etc....

I'd be annoyed but I would also feel sorry for my sister and ultimately not want her to miss on her holiday and probably all the money that she's paid.

Unless you live really far away, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just pop into their house on a morning and evening to give their meds. Your daughter could actually go to there and take her reading with her, then there is no loss at all for her.

Anyway your sister can hire a cat sitter who will visit and do the same thing.

If it were my family I would do it

A similar thread recently, I dont see why the person being demanded to help is the one who has to fix this