Cat care for DSis holiday

[CatTrouble]

DM and DSis are going away together at the start of November. DSis has 3 cats who were going to be cared for by a neighbour but the neighbour can no longer look after them.

DSis has asked other neighbours, friends and now me, as they’ve all said they can’t. I have also had to say I can’t due to other commitments which they’re aware of and with my sisters house being over half an hours drive from my house, I can’t fit it in with everything else. The cats would need 2 visits due to needing medication. I said she’d have to book them into a cattery but it turns out 1 cat isn’t up to date with vaccinations (can’t have them due to previous reaction) so the cattery won’t take them.

My DSis found out that my oldest DD is coming home from uni for that week as she has a reading week. DSis sent me a text saying ‘oh thank god, <insert my DD name> will be able to look after them, I was starting to think I’d have to cancel my holiday’. I felt annoyed at the presumption that my DD would do it but rather than say anything, I asked my DD if she’d want to do it. She was also annoyed at being taken for granted but has said she can’t do it anyway as she has reading and work to complete, has made other plans with friends for some of the time she’s here and has managed to get a few shifts at her old part time job. I said that’s all understandable so I have let DSis know that my DD can’t have the cats.

DSis and DM are annoyed and I’ve been told I’ve raised a selfish DD. I’ve said she’s not selfish, she’s busy and the cats aren’t her responsibility. They’re now asking if my other children can do it which they can’t due to being at school, college, working, not driving and one having an allergy to cats. DM has called me almost in tears that their holiday will have to be cancelled. I suggested a cat sitter and got grumpily asked whether I think they’re stupid and of course they’ve tried that but they can’t find one with availability. They genuinely seem to think we are being unreasonable by not helping. Are we?

November holiday? Surely time still to arrange cat vaccinations?? It the cost of 3 cats that’s the issue here I think, presume neighbour was a cheap option?

I really don't see how this has to come down to OPs motivation- it's unfortunate the original arrangements have gone out of the window but to me it seems like the pressure on OPs family to help is unfair when they've already explained why this is not straightforward.

I have to agree. When you have pets you have to accept costs and not assume someone else is going to come to the rescue for nothing.

Advertise the job on rover or some other website. Someone will do it on . I got my cat looked after with very short notice

There’re is no way they have exhausted their options with finding a cat sitter. Facebook, Rover, local contacts - there will definitely be someone. Maybe they’re reluctant to pay the going rate, or assume you’ll step in at the last minute so they don’t have to cancel.

Our dog sitter cancelled on us 2 days before our August holiday (valid reason), and after a lot of scrambling we managed to find a replacement. If that’s possible in August, then October should be a breeze!

DSis did say she’d pay but my DD had already committed to work. She also wants to keep the option open of having work with them for when she is home so wouldn’t want to let them down. She used to work for them before she went to uni and they’ve been really good at letting her pick up work over summers, Xmas and other holidays.

This reminds me of the thread about the neighbour who didn’t want to pay for a cat sitter so wanted the OP (her neighbour) or her teenage son to cat sit for free. The son’s friend offered to do it for £20 per day but the neighbour was too tight to pay that.

I suspect that’s what’s happening here, OP’s sister expects a cat sitter to do it for a pittance and so she can’t find anyone, so is roping in the nearest teenager.

Have they checked the pet sitting site Rover? (Not sure if Cat In A Flat still exists, which we used to use.) We used to live in a village and there were around 40 cat sitters available at any one time. But it’s not cheap. I suspect it’s the cost that has put her off.

One cat can’t be vaccinated, as I said in my OP, due to a previous reaction to them apparently.

I think there must be a sitter with availability for November as it’s not peak time, but I’ve been told there isn’t.

Its just part of pet ownership, shes lucky its something she managed to dodge. We have a dog, cat and chickens so we book a pet sitter as its easier, they did have to cancel once due to illness and yes it was stressful, but rather than being horrible to people we got it solved.

Goodness there are people who do this for a living! She just has to pay someone. Unless she lives rurally I can’t believe there’s no one available. She’s asking you to spent and hour and a half twice a day to look after her pets? I get a lad up the street to come and I PAY him. She really should have thought this through.

Your dd could do it and stick to her other commitments. Most students I know would leap at the chance to earn easy money. She should tell them her fee, get it up front and everyone's happy.

Do you know dd’s schedule then?

Yup I suspect that’s what’s going on. It’s not like looking after a dog which is a 24/7 enterprise, definitely someone available in November for two visits a day at the right price. Your petrol there and back would probably cost more than what they need to pay ( bet she didn’t offer to cover that).

When we were stuck for a dog sitter many moons ago, I posted on our local FB and an ex neighbours DS was delighted to help out and refused payment ( he got lots of gifts instead).

It suits them to think you selfish for saying no, but you’re not. There’s no way I could do this with a similar length of travel. There aren’t enough hours in the day, and if staying at the cats’ house is impossible, then the task of looking after them would be impossible. I’m at my main work before 8am and at my other job until 8pm sometimes, but even if I were home by 5 it would be a big ask to go out again for an hour’s round trip and wrestle a cat’s meds into it! Not to mention that OP says the medication is needed twice a day.

Maybe @CatTrouble you need to lay out your schedule for your dsis and point out that you simply don’t have a spare 90 minutes at each end of the day.

Not to mention the drive. I put £20 worth of diesel in yesterday and my car estimated it to be worth less than 100 miles. Half an hour each way is probably going to cost at least £10-15 on HMRC’s mileage rate (45ppm).

Cat care is a small part of your sister’s day, but for you could turn into an absolute mission, and cost you a fortune to boot.

In that instance, when the alternative means that they won't be able to go on holiday, I would do it and encourage my daughter to help on some days. If you, your daughter and another child can do it, it's not as bad individually.

I agree that she certainly shouldn't assume your daughter would do it but she sounds absolutely desperate at this point. And it's not like she hasn't organised anything in the first place. I feel sorry for her.

I definitely would expect her to pay for transport and some extra for your children for the inconvenience.

People really need to stop co-opting the nearest women for performing services that they can pay professionals to do.

Would you tell a man and his son to drop their plans and cat sit twice a day for hours a day?

Why don’t you ask OP where her sister lives and offer to help if you feel so sad for her?

I would go onto Rover myself and check availability. I am willing to bet money there are sitters available for that period. If she asks again I would send her a link to them. Suspicious that she isn’t friendly enough with any neighbours to ask. It’s a bit of a task but I would do it once a day for a neighbour if they could find someone else for the other slot.

Try Pawshake as well.

Maybe if you can actually show your DSis sitters in her area who are available it will make a difference.

We leave ours in a cattery but look after neighbours’ cats sometimes- op even at half an hour away and two visits I think in your head you’re a much bigger deal than it is. (Sorry hope that doesn’t sound too bad it’s just she was obviously relieved to hear your dd was coming home and in life I’ve been there and people do rarely offer help which is fair enough as they’re so busy but sometimes it just makes life so much easier (on a day I’ve no help and was praying for it lol)

The way they are asking/assuming things is cheeky. However can you, dd and other kids not manage between you. Sounds like a few grown up kids so maybe 2 days each?

Although I can understand with their tone you may not want to go to that effort.

Facebook. My DD would do it if local.

I think this sounds like you reap what you sow and there is context to the whole problem.

I would bend over backwards to do it for my family because they really would have looked at all other options and have gone out of their way for me in the past and I know they'd do this for me if there was any way to make it work and get me out of a jam, even at great inconvenience to themselves.

But from your posts, it sounds like you'd be surprised to find out that they have actually contacted any cat sitters and instead feel they are just piling on pressure for you and your kids to do it. Is that how you feel?

Tbh if its the latter, I'd be tempted to say you've asked around and might have a cat sitter they can use and do they want you to finalise a quote and put them in touch. The reaction will tell you everything.

Perhaps the neighbour has run out of goodwill 🤔

People really need to stop co-opting the nearest women for performing services that they can pay professionals to do.
This. With bells on.
They are being cheeky fuckers.

You've quite rightly said no. Draw a line in the sand and move on. How they choose to react to it is up to them.

It's not your responsibility, but if you and your DSIS are close and help one another out, is there some way you can help?
It's too much for you to feed every day, too much for your DD to, but could you do 2 days, your DD do 2 days, a couple of neighboirs do 1-2 days each?
Can the cats cope for a short time with 1 visit per day rather than 2?
Could you offer that while making clear to your DSIS that she needs to be the one sorting everything out and you expect her to arrange iron clad pet care for future holidays as you can't be it.