A Christmas/AIBU/what do you do about Santa presents

[Rubyreds45]

Who do your children think their presents come from- parents or Santa?

The situation is that our eldest child attends a nursery and last week the nursery put a message out essentially asking parents to tell their children that the majority of their presents are from their parents, and to choose just one present specifically something low cost (the examples they gave were PJ’s, chocolates, socks or a book) to be the present from Santa. Their explanation for this was that it prevents a situation they say they have had in previous years where all of the children come back in January chatting about Christmas presents and some children have had lots and lots of toys from Santa and other children have had a bar of chocolate & some socks from Santa, the children with less ended up confused and upset.

Growing up all of our presents were always from Santa (other than ones from family/friends), both of our kids are young enough that we’ve never really said who they are from yet and we are just wondering really is this what parents say now?

It has caused uproar among the nursery parents with strong opinions either side, lots saying that the magic of Christmas is piles from Santa and that they won’t change that, also lots saying its not fair on the children with parents who can’t afford huge piles and so they only get chocolate from Santa but find out at nursery that that friend got piles of toys and so they argue we all need to be saying those expensive things are from parents.

I don’t particularly have an opinion either way, so really just wondering what other parents do? Just one present from Santa? All from Santa? Particular low cost from Santa? All from parents? We are fortunate in that we can afford to buy for Christmas whatever our children want really, but I would hate to think that another child will hear ours talking about her toys and wonder why Santa didn’t bring him the same so I can definitely see the point in just having something low cost from Santa- but that only really works if everyone does it.

My only gripe with the nursery about the whole thing really is that as an activity the week before last they did a “lets do Christmas lists for Santa” activity so all kids sat round and produced lists of toys with help from staff obviously to bring home to parents. For me, if I was concerned about children feeling disappointed over Christmas presents I probably wouldn’t be encouraging them all to sit and write lists of toys together knowing that some of those children will get every item on their list and some will get none. Maybe that activity prompted a parent to complain and led to their message being sent out, who knows.

Santa brings the stocking - left on their bed - small snacks and novelty type gifts.

main presents are from me - left downstairs. .

this has prevented my kids being totally unrealistic with what they ask for . They are older now but we have always followed this .

I've always done presents from Santa and presents from us, family friends ect.

So DD10 has always got a sack of presents from Santa and these tend to be pjs, toys (normally the main toy she wanted) books etc. She knows who everything else is from. I did do it this way as I didn't want her to go to school saying how much Santa got her when some of her friends may have received very little from Santa. Now she's older it's worked quite well as she knows Santa won't bring her a new iPad etc but mummy will if she's good 😅

I say that I give the money to Santa for the presents. This way my kids know how much they can spend, and it explains why some get more from Santa than others. Each to their own though

In our house Santa brings one good gift, wrapped in different paper and he fills their stockings. All the other gifts are from us. That's how it was when I was a kid so I guess I just carried it on. When people give all the gifts from Santa, I've often wondered if they would find it odd that grandparents, aunties and uncles and friends got them something for Christmas, but mum and dad didn't?

In our house, and when I was growing up only the stocking came from Father Christmas (it was always FC in our house, not Santa). All other presents came from people.

I don't think the nursery can dictate what you should do but it will probably cause some confusion after Christmas.

When my nephew was small he came back from school one day just after Christmas crying because his parents hadn't given him any Christmas presents, and all his friends had received presents from their parents. SIL had insisted that all presents came from Santa. This is the scenario you might want to consider.

My children had a pile from Santa, Santa was basically the delivery driver of Christmas as we sent money for the gifts and other gifts were from family and friends, this explained why some children got more or less presents .

growing up all my gifts were from Santa and no questions were asked.

The email from nursery would really annoy me, I understand where they are coming from but it’s not any of their business!

In my experience children say what they’ve received fir Christmas not who they received it from ‘I got a new bike’ rather than ‘mummy bought me a new bike’ or ‘Father Christmas brought me a bike’. Just do what suits your family, I told my children that I send money to Father Christmas and that’s why children get Different things as it depends what their parents sent as and some families like buying it all themselves so only sent a bit to the big guy.

Just do whatever you feel is best for you, there’s no correct way to do Father Christmas!

We told DS that everything came from Santa but he sent us an invoice 😂

He would know how much parents could afford and therefore only picked the presents children got on that basis.

In our home and also now in my DDs home Santa brought the stocking with the small presents and they were left on their beds for the morning. The big presents and everything from family members were downstairs and labelled who they were from. Sometimes there was one mid size present from Santa but nothing expensive.
I can understand why the nursery are worried if Father Christmas is seen to be giving huge presents to some children and very little to others but small children are actually smarter than people realise and i think most understand what is happening and just play along because it's nice to pretend Father Christmas is real

growing up most of my gifts were from Santa with a more expensive gift from parents. Do the same for my dc, no huge piles though.

For us, Santa does the stocking and 1 big present (that doesn't fit in the stocking). And we also have rules about what Santa will or will not provide - he doesn't bring electronics (because the elves don't make them) or live animals being the big ones!

Everything else is from whoever it is from and I don't have to worry about hiding them pre-christmas! (although we do keep our presents to them hidden so they have the big reveal on Christmas morning).

Nursery are silly though, there are so many different choices around Christmas that you end up having to explain stuff away anyway. e.g. we don't have an elf, so we have to explain why every Christmas - but we also do other things her friends don't do.

Thank you all for replies! It seems like a mix of Santa & parents is the way to go and totally see the logic as kids get a bit older of them knowing it is mum and dad so that they are aware of budget and realistic expectations!

We haven’t done stockings previously so maybe stocking presents from Santa being low cost items might be the solution!

I can see both sides to an extent. I do remember the magic of coming down on Christmas morning to a pile of presents but I don’t know that it would have mattered much to me as a child or impacted the “magic” to know they were from my parents rather than Santa!

Stockings and small gifts from Father Christmas, main gifts from parents.

I think nursery are seriously overstepping here though - parents should do as they want.

We have always done Father Christmas fills your stocking and brings one gift. We encourage the gift to be lower value and something mum and dad might not buy like slime kits etc over the years. We then get them one big gift and other tree presents.
Even now as teens and adults Santa still fills their stockings.

Absolutely, I always put a few gifts under the tree in December then add all ours on Christmas Eve when they are in bed and pop the ones from Father Christmas on top in different gift wrap.

I do remember the magic of coming down on Christmas morning to a pile of presents but I don’t know that it would have mattered much to me as a child or impacted the “magic” to know they were from my parents rather than Santa! At nursery age the distinction would be lost.
And there's no less happiness amongst kids who get presents from parents. Christmas is just exciting.

Santa brings the stocking and one low cost present, never the main expensive one. This was decided because 1.) inequality with other children can be quite obvious from a young age and 2.) I want my children to be realistic. Santa also never brings livestock either, which I quickly pointed out when my daughter then aged 7 asked Santa for a hamster “because I want a pet and they don’t cost a lot”. Nice try.

Santa brought the stocking and one special present (wrapped in different paper) in our house when DD was younger, and other presents were from family. Santa didn’t bring presents or stockings for grownups as that would have been too much work for him, so grownups bought each other presents instead.

I honestly can’t remember what my parents did, but this seemed a sensible approach for us. It’s hard to get away from the Santa/ Father Christmas story, but at the same time I didn’t want to make Santa into this huge thing and then have the potential drama of explaining that Santa wasn’t real - there have been a few threads on here over the years with parents worrying how to explain the truth after building up a huge Santa myth.

We also didn’t do Elf on the Shelf as our cat wouldn’t have been happy about elves in the house, which saved us a lot of effort 😀

All from Santa but are aware that we have to pay for the presents - Santa just brings them.

Stockings from Santa. Presents from everyone else. Much easier to manage as they grow older and comparisons become more common. Also weird if parents are the only people not to give them presents! Better for them learning to give as well as receive later too .

We have it that Santa has brought all the presents, but not bought them all! The Stockings are from Santa (low cost, novelty stuff plus sweets, chocolate etc) & all the other actual prepare from us, siblings or other family or friends.

The communication from the nursery is what has irritated me the most really! Especially as the week before this email they had spent the afternoon doing a “christmas list for Santa” activity with clippings from catalogues of toys etc- a great craft activity for sure, they had been cutting them out, sticking them on, decorated, I bet the kids all really enjoyed it! BUT if you already know some of the kids are going to get every item on their list and others will likely get none or only 1, why bring that activity into nursery anyway.

They all came out with a A3 piece of paper, ours had about 20 little clippings stuck to it of toys she wants from Santa. If I were a parent who knows I only have a very small budget for Christmas this year then I’d be more annoyed by nursery having sat my child down to pick out hundreds of pounds worth of toys to ask Santa for than what other people were saying about where presents came from.

Stocking with small things (blind bags, choc coins/santa, tube of sweets, cool stationary, small toys/lego sets, fancy toiletries etc)

Main wrapped presents under the tree are from who they're actually from. Keeps expectations realistic and means they know who gave them what and can thank appropriately

far too early for this! Do they want a frenzied group of kids 🙈

When i was a child, Father Christmas only did stockings, small, token, novelty gifts. All the presents under the tree were from friends and family and did not just appear in Christmas eve they were put there as and when they were wrapped/recieved.

I have heard similar stories about children who are lead to believe that Father Christmas gave them and iPad and their friends don't understand why they didnt get an ipad from Father Christmas. It makes me sad that children are made to feel bad. It spoils the magic.