A Christmas/AIBU/what do you do about Santa presents

[Rubyreds45]

Who do your children think their presents come from- parents or Santa?

The situation is that our eldest child attends a nursery and last week the nursery put a message out essentially asking parents to tell their children that the majority of their presents are from their parents, and to choose just one present specifically something low cost (the examples they gave were PJ’s, chocolates, socks or a book) to be the present from Santa. Their explanation for this was that it prevents a situation they say they have had in previous years where all of the children come back in January chatting about Christmas presents and some children have had lots and lots of toys from Santa and other children have had a bar of chocolate & some socks from Santa, the children with less ended up confused and upset.

Growing up all of our presents were always from Santa (other than ones from family/friends), both of our kids are young enough that we’ve never really said who they are from yet and we are just wondering really is this what parents say now?

It has caused uproar among the nursery parents with strong opinions either side, lots saying that the magic of Christmas is piles from Santa and that they won’t change that, also lots saying its not fair on the children with parents who can’t afford huge piles and so they only get chocolate from Santa but find out at nursery that that friend got piles of toys and so they argue we all need to be saying those expensive things are from parents.

I don’t particularly have an opinion either way, so really just wondering what other parents do? Just one present from Santa? All from Santa? Particular low cost from Santa? All from parents? We are fortunate in that we can afford to buy for Christmas whatever our children want really, but I would hate to think that another child will hear ours talking about her toys and wonder why Santa didn’t bring him the same so I can definitely see the point in just having something low cost from Santa- but that only really works if everyone does it.

My only gripe with the nursery about the whole thing really is that as an activity the week before last they did a “lets do Christmas lists for Santa” activity so all kids sat round and produced lists of toys with help from staff obviously to bring home to parents. For me, if I was concerned about children feeling disappointed over Christmas presents I probably wouldn’t be encouraging them all to sit and write lists of toys together knowing that some of those children will get every item on their list and some will get none. Maybe that activity prompted a parent to complain and led to their message being sent out, who knows.

My boy is 4 in Nov and we've told him that Santa buys the stocking presents and mummy&daddy buy the rest. No way is Santa taking the glory for the bike 😅

Father Christmas delivered everything but from parents. Even as they grow up if I bought anything it was “sent” to Father Christmas

All from Santa here. I never went overboard - five DCs meant there weren't mountains of presents. I did not give a present, nor did exH. The presents were all under the tree. We did not do stockings.

The Santa presents were opened on Christmas morning.
On Christmas Eve the DCs opened presents from their cousin secret Santa and from anyone else who had given them a present.

The nursery are a bunch of joyless commies though.
There is no way I'd alter my way of doing Christmas just to fake a sense of equality.

When my kids were in school, talking about Santa and what he brought was just not done when school started up again in January.The nursery should have a New Year (or other) theme set up to occupy the children's attention, and Christmas should be firmly in the rear view mirror.

This.

We've always told our 6 year old "just like every family is different, every family's Christmas is different"

Wem've explained and prepared her for difference all her Life.

She accepts that.

Fwiw, she gets a small present from father Christmas left with her stocking by the fire.

All the other presents are under the tree.

Everything from Santa and when DC realise it’s not true it’s from mum and dad.

We’ve always done one special gift from Santa (not electronics) and the rest from us (mum & dad). The special one is wrapped in fancy paper, with a bow and a tag from Santa. We have always done it this was as we like getting the credit for the majority of the presents.
I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable with a nursery telling/advising me to do it a certain way and I certainly wouldn’t want them doing a bloody Christmas list in October. It’s all a bit contradictory.

My mum said she bought the presents, sent them to Samta, he brought them back on Xmas day! If I was doing it now it would be Mrs Claus as the main character and Santa is the sidekick!

Is this something nursery children talk about? My DC have never mentioned what their friends got for Christmas. I don't think at that age they would even think to ask. Maybe nursery staff shouldn't bring it up.

It's no longer just a Christian celebration though is it so no it's not literally about Jesus anymore.
I mean if you have never lied to your children about anything then you either have a selective memory or you truly are a saint. Never said I'm fine when your not, daddy's tired when he's just in a grump etc?!
I highly doubt it! So to chastise another pp is ridiculous.
This whole thread is about Santa so if that's not something you follow due to religion then maybe the wrong thread foe you.

This thread is for me because I have an opinion about it and the OP was asking for opinions. I didn't think it was the Mumsnet way to tell people to leave a thread when they don't agree with you? It's not even your thread.

I seem to have touched a raw nerve for a few people regarding the lying thing, and honestly I probably have said I was fine when I wasn't but nothing else that I can think of. Like I said, it's a point of principle for me that I want my children to know that I will always tell them the truth. If that offends you I can't really help that. I didn't even say it to you in the beginning so I'm not sure why you've jumped on it like this.

I just don't think being shocked that a parent would tell their kids that other parents are lying (when they aren't, but you are) is really that groundbreaking. I haven't complained about whatever people choose tell their own kids about Santa, but when it's about other real people that they know, that is just ridiculous.

I grew up poor so we didn't get much I remember asking mum once if we'd done something wrong because Santa gave other kids lots of presents that was the last year the gifts said from Santa after that they were from mum

As if they actually did this.

Did they also tell all the Hindu families and Muslims and Jewish and Jehovah Witness etc families they absolutely have to take part in Christmas and they must only buy one small gift in the name of Santa???

Just ignore them and do whatever you want.

Crazy the nursery are telling parents what to do. When I was a child, and same for my now grown up DC, santa was purely the delivery man. He brought all the gifts, but none were from him as such. Parents do seem to do it differently, and I can see why some kids might feel sad if they think santa only brought them one toy, and their friend 20, but they are over stepping.

I doubt nursery age children would have any idea that a chocolate bar costs less than certain toys. The whole thing sounds ridiculous. Everyone’s lives arent the same, kids will have different lives and experiences and not always get what they want, they need to grow some resilience. What’s next, no kid is allowed to go on holiday over the summer because not all the kids families can afford to go? No one is allowed a dog as little Tarquins mom is allergic and he can’t have one?

When I was growing up, and when my kids were little, everything was from Santa. That’s the magic of Christmas in my opinion (which is obviously based on the way it was done when I was a child). Nobody sends money to Santa or pays his invoice, or anything along those lines.

That being said, my children have been privately educated for their whole educations so the scenario posed to you by nursery wouldn’t have ever applied and isn’t something we have ever had to consider.

Stocking and one average priced present under the tree. I do understand not all children recieve as much as ours. Therefore all expensive things are from us. I would not be told what to do at Christmas by an educational establishment lol

Nursery cannot dictate what your family traditions are - they’d be getting a response back from me to that effect, cheeky sods!
Whatever you do is your concern.

Santa brings the vast majority. Much more fun and exciting that way.

We do a gift they’ve asked for from Santa, and then a small santa sack which will have pjs, books, and other smaller gifts from Santa. I do all Santa presents wrapped in one wrapping paper, and then presents from us in a different wrap. All big presents are from us

Father Christmas brings the stocking only.

And children do discuss it. I remember arguing with a friend about it. We must have been 5.

Father Christmas just brings stocking full of fun cheap things (and an orange and coin in the bottom!).

Stocking opened early and utterly magical.

All real presents from parents/ family.

We do a stocking and one present (that can't be electronics) from Santa. We buy the rest, because that's what we chose for our children.

I would send nursery a strongly worded email back telling them that this is a massive overstep and absolutely none of their business what parents tell their children about Santa and what he brings. No child will ask for socks from Santa and there is no chance I would ruin the magic of Christmas for my own children.

always good to see the split. Feels like you have three groups

1 - Stocking (and maybe 1 thing) from santa, rest = parents
2 - All from santa (not including presents from other family memebers)
3 - Santa delivery man, or mum + dad give santa money.

My family were 2, so I've just kept it going.

Logically I would probably choose 1, but its hard to change the traditions you grew up with.