Not invited to engagement party

[Neeseynoo]

My partner (on/off for 5yrs but back on for last few months, and we live together) has been invited to the engagement party of the daughter of one of his best friends, but I have not as "partners not allowed due to keeping cost down".
For context - I have met the friend in question and his wife on a couple of occasions but has he has been a friend of partner since school and they catch up every couple of months or so. Partner knows daughter very well.
All of partners other friends will be there - as couples, they all married and have been friends for long time.
The friend and wife are paying for the party, so would have quite a bit of influence about who could attend.
I guess the "no partners rule" is aimed at possibly work friends of engaged couples and I do know that they are trying to keep it to 200 people but can't help feel quite upset that my partner seems to think It's ok to leave me on my own for Saturday night (he works shifts and we do not usually have much time together on week day evenings, so our weekends are special. He will be the only one in his large friend group who will be on his own. Am I right to feel a bit snubbed ok

Enjoy the night on your own.

They probably think that you’re not that serious due to the fact you’ve been on and off for the last 5 years. Just accept the snub - you’ll likely not be invited to the wedding either so prepare for that.

It’s literally one Saturday evening. Unsure what you mean by how can he think it’s okay to leave me on my own for the evening. You’re an adult, you’ll be fine.

This wouldn’t remotely bother me, but I’m also fine with my partner going to weddings without me which many people on here aren’t.

I would try not to feel too snubbed. You’ve been on and off for years by your own admission and it sounds like it’s only very close friends and family that are invited. If you’ve only met them on a couple of occasions then I’d not say you’re close. They sound very close to your husband hence his invite.
im sure your weekends are special but one night to yourself won’t kill you. Why don’t you arrange to see your own friends that evening

YABU, you said yourself you’ve been on/off for 5 years and that you partner has been friends with them since school, it makes sense they would just invite him and not you if not inviting partners. You’ll be fine by yourself for a night, let your partner go and enjoy his friends party.

The couple who are getting engaged will have friends and family they want to invite too, and that will equal less spaces for the parents friends, as they're not the ones getting married. Also, you've said that you've been on/off with your partner and that could be the reason why.

With regards to being left on a Saturday night, I can't understand what the problem is. It's only one night, do you spend every free night together or do you make plans with friends? I'd personally be excited for a night on my own - bit of a pamper, order my favourite food in and watch something in bed. If you're not happy spending the night alone, can you organise something with friends?

Are there any trust issues within your relationship that would cause you to not want your partner to go on his own?

From what you have said you have never met the person getting engaged. You seem most bothered about your partner ‘thinking it’s ok’ to leave you on your own on a Saturday night which suggests there is a bigger issue - of course it’s ok for him to go without you, you don’t own him and it is healthy to spend time apart/have some individual social lives.

Why do you care about his mates kids engagement party?

I'd be relieved not to have to go!

You've not even met the couple. If I had an engagement party and was trying to keep costs down, then I wouldn't invite the on/off partner of my dad's friend.

YABU about the Saturday night being alone thing. No wonder you've been on/off if you're upset about left alone for a couple of hours!

I’d be relieved ! ‘Off you go dear , have a nice time!”would be my response.

If I wasn’t invited to a party hosted by most of my DH’s friends I’d put it firmly in “dodged a bullet” territory!

An adult is perfectly capable of having a very enjoyable Saturday night on their own. Why would you want to go to an engagement party (not even a wedding!) for people you barely know? Just enjoy your solo evening, OP, or meet up with friends instead.

200 people for an engagement party is way OTT!

Are they planning a Hello magazine spread for the wedding?

Just go out with your own friends on that night. No biggie

As you said you're on/off and he's more their friend since school days. There obviously has to be a cut off somewhere so I can understand why they may not invite everybody and unfortunately you were not invited.

It's your partners friends daughter getting married so it's easy to see how they can have limitations on the number of guests they can invite so the actual bride and groom can also invite their guests, then you have the parents of the bride and groom, there has to be a cutoff somewhere.....

"can't help feel quite upset that my partner seems to think It's ok to leave me on my own for Saturday night"

This is ridiculous and childish, you're a and I'm sure you can find something to do and survive one Saturday night without your partner. It's not the end of the world

And if it really bothers you, you can give him an ultimatum that he insists they invite you or he isn't going, the risk is it may result in another off period with your relationship, your call.

Do you know the daughter who is engaged?

Why on earth would this being a problem even enter your head for 2 seconds?

I have not as "partners not allowed due to keeping cost down".

He will be the only one in his large friend group who will be on his own.

Is this correct? I don't understand how partners are not allowed but all his large friend will have their partners with them?

If it's the case that you're the only partner not invited then yes, it is a snub.

All you can do is hold your head up high, do not invite these people to your home, take them off your Christmas card list and don't take your partner to weddings you have been invited to.

It sounds like a volatile relationship and they think you might break up again before the party.

A friend of your boyfriend has a daughter and she’s getting engaged. That’s not a close relationship. How much time have you spent with the engaged couple?

See your own mates for a night out?
He’s known them decades and known the bride since she was a baby, and you’ve only met her parents twice. Honestly this is quite pathetic.

i think you’re being ridiculous. Have a nice night in on your own.

@Neeseynoo oh grow up. Find a film or two on Netflix you like and buy yourself a treat meal/takeaway. Enjoy the evening. Or go out with friends. Why should he not attend because you're sulky, he didn't make the rule.

I was thinking this too! Is it a big family?

The being left on my own wouldn't bother me at all though. I would only expect to be invited to a friend's child's party if I had been a significant part of their life growing up. My god children and closest friends children who I see all the time? I would love to go, but would also respect if they were keeping it small that I wouldn't make the cut. Others - wouldn't in any way expect to be invited

For God sake get a grip !