Not invited to engagement party

[Neeseynoo]

My partner (on/off for 5yrs but back on for last few months, and we live together) has been invited to the engagement party of the daughter of one of his best friends, but I have not as "partners not allowed due to keeping cost down".
For context - I have met the friend in question and his wife on a couple of occasions but has he has been a friend of partner since school and they catch up every couple of months or so. Partner knows daughter very well.
All of partners other friends will be there - as couples, they all married and have been friends for long time.
The friend and wife are paying for the party, so would have quite a bit of influence about who could attend.
I guess the "no partners rule" is aimed at possibly work friends of engaged couples and I do know that they are trying to keep it to 200 people but can't help feel quite upset that my partner seems to think It's ok to leave me on my own for Saturday night (he works shifts and we do not usually have much time together on week day evenings, so our weekends are special. He will be the only one in his large friend group who will be on his own. Am I right to feel a bit snubbed ok

200 people party and it’s including all the parent’s friends. How silly. I love a party so would be disappointed but you can do your own thing. Organise a night out with your friends instead. You dont know these people, they dont owe you anything.

I think this is perfectly normal and acceptable.

I wonder if deep down what is really upsetting you is their potential perception that you aren’t a serious couple and that given the history of your relationship it has touched a nerve?

Have you even met the daughter before? You've only met the parents twice!

YABU for getting in a grump because he's abandoning you on a Saturday night. Grow up.

How much do you socialise with the daughter and her new fiancé?

I'd feel two things at once

• thank goodness I don't have to go
• what a bloody cheek excluding me

I'd do what others have suggested, get your favourite food in, watch a really good film in peace, or go out and see your mates. Long term, I wouldn't hold it against my partner.

I'd run for my life if i were your fella. "can't help feel quite upset that my partner seems to think It's ok to leave me on my own for Saturday night".

I've left my partner alone for days, weeks and months at a time and he simply supported me seeing friends/pursuing my own hobbies/caring for a sick relative. You're setting yourself up for a miserable life OP :(

Your on/off boyfriend has been invited to the engagement celebration of a person you’ve never met… and you feel snubbed at not receiving an invite yourself?

You’re definitely unreasonable!

Grow up.

Unless they have a massive family I think it is rude, given the numbers of people going. It is the daughter of one of your partners best friends. You and your partner have been together for five years, and live together.
I don’t think you can do anything about it. Assume there will be no wedding invitation either.

Do you think it is some sort of statement about people who are not married ?

A engagement party for 200 people.?? Nightmare. Leave them to it.
Why are you envious?

If you've been on and off for five years it's entirely possible that during the off times he's been a bit, shall we say uncomplimentary about you and they feel awkward and unsure whether you'll actually stay together.

Sounds like you’ve never even met either one of the engaged couple so why do you expect to be incited to their party?

Also, it is becoming increasingly clear why this may have been an on/off relationship if you seriously can’t spend one Saturday night apart so he can go to a party to celebrate someone he’s close to! You’ve only been back together a few months….!

"(on/off for 5yrs but back on for last few months, and we live together"

Actually struggling to believe this is real

This. Sounds like you are more casual and they are keeping it to long term partners.

Get a bloody grip. People who think they have to go everywhere with their partner as if they are joined at the hip are needy and nauseating.

You’ve been together on and off and only met his best friend twice? That doesn’t sound like a serious relationship.

Posters will prob tell you that your partner should ask for an invitation for you but I would hope this wouldn’t happen!

It is up to those who are paying for it to decide who to invite. I’m afraid they don’t owe you an invitation so just shrug your shoulders and accept it.

In any case, being ‘on and off’ means that they probably didn’t think it was worth inviting you in case you had split up again by the time of the party, as you have only been back together a few months

You barely know these people, let alone their child who the party is actually for, why on earth would you expect to be invited?

If I had a free saturday night I'd order a takeaway and have a wank.
I'd probably wank before the takeaway, because no one wants a wank while all bloated from a double doner and chips innit

can't help feel quite upset that my partner seems to think It's ok to leave me on my own for Saturday night

It is ok for him to do that. A grown woman should be able to entertain herself and do something else for one evening without a fuss, your partner should be able to do things without you.

There’s been about 40 replies and I don’t think anyone has said that.

It’s ok to feel sad but not ok to say you can’t believe he’s leaving you on for own for a one off Saturday night! Don’t you have friends? If not I would focus on making some

You are not someone who knows this couple well
or cares about celebrating them in amy way and if you broke up with your boyfriend you’d probably never see speak or even think of them ever again (I’m assuming you didn’t stay in touch with them when you broke up briefly) so they’re not being unreasonable for only wanting people they know and love there

Also they may not even be aware that you’re back together