Not invited to engagement party

[Neeseynoo]

My partner (on/off for 5yrs but back on for last few months, and we live together) has been invited to the engagement party of the daughter of one of his best friends, but I have not as "partners not allowed due to keeping cost down".
For context - I have met the friend in question and his wife on a couple of occasions but has he has been a friend of partner since school and they catch up every couple of months or so. Partner knows daughter very well.
All of partners other friends will be there - as couples, they all married and have been friends for long time.
The friend and wife are paying for the party, so would have quite a bit of influence about who could attend.
I guess the "no partners rule" is aimed at possibly work friends of engaged couples and I do know that they are trying to keep it to 200 people but can't help feel quite upset that my partner seems to think It's ok to leave me on my own for Saturday night (he works shifts and we do not usually have much time together on week day evenings, so our weekends are special. He will be the only one in his large friend group who will be on his own. Am I right to feel a bit snubbed ok

can't help feel quite upset that my partner seems to think It's ok to leave me on my own for Saturday night

So he can never have plans without you ever again on a Saturday night?
You’re being ridiculous, of course it’s ok to leave you on your own for a few hours…. You’re an adult not a young child!!

exactly

Suspicious of what? They already have large numbers so why make them higher by inviting someone they don’t know?

Sorry OP, but no, you are not right to feel a bit snubbed.
Why are you looking for offence when none was intended ?

You don’t know the engaged couple and 199 other invitees probably do know one or the other of the couple. I don’t see how you can expect to be invited.

And like others, I’d be much happier not to have to tag along.
Be happy for him, that’s he’s been invited. Send him off with a smile and don’t make a fuss.

Fill your life with enough friends and interests that you have enough options to feel grateful that you have a Saturday night free.
I think you will then find yourself much happier and not mind so much about stuff like this.

I also wouldn’t invite you. Going by your history there is a very high chance that you will not be together by the time of the party!

You don’t know the couple and they don’t know you. If numbers are tight of course you don’t make the cut. On/off for 5 years doesnt sound very committed, and his friends will think that too. You are an adult of course you can spend a Saturday night on your own. FYI Be prepared not to be invited to the wedding either

Honestly, I know the advice is to enjoy the evening on your own but I’d be concerned your partners been honest with his mate about how he sees your relationship as not being that serious

If you're on and off more than the telly, they probably didn't invite you because you could not be with him by time the party comes around.

If you keep breaking up I doubt they think you’re serious. Just enjoy a peaceful evening.

I would not be interested in going to my partner's best friend's daughter's engagement party, neither would I be interested in going to the wedding.

Fine by me if my partner went to both.

Let him go and enjoy himself . You have a lovely night to yourself . It’s a one off . Let them all get on with it . When you are older you will appreciate a night at home on your own . X

It sounds like you haven’t even met either of the engaged couple, so it’s a bit weird that you are feeling put out about not being invited to their engagement party!

They are constantly breaking up - chances are he’s seeing other people when they aren’t together. She is basically a girlfriend of a couple of months - and unlikely to be around much longer based on their history. I wouldn’t invite her either - having to uninvite her later when they break up again will be awkward

Personally I would take the opportunity to arrange a night out with my own friends and have a bloody good time.

Don’t beg to be included, don't compete for acceptance from his friends, and don't feel guilty for being upset. Cutting costs is a bit of a stretch for one person. I encourage you to look at the bigger picture of your relationship here. I’d be out the front door.

I'd be so glad to be excused the dreaded "partner curse" where it's mainly your other half's crowd, and you spend all night making small talk to a bunch of "spare" halves in the same boat.

I wonder if some people need to show of they are in a relationship, yes I am a long term married so no i have zero interest to do this myself

If not this why can't people cope not being invited to something? What is missing in their life or relationship this becomes a territorial thing?

What age are you? On and off for 5 years means you're not serious. I highly doubt you're going to marry this man or you wouldn't be on and off. His friends know this. They've also heard all about why he split up with you so many times. They may well be pissed off at you for how you've been treating him. This is his life and his friends and he can go to their special occasions if he wants. I really think if you're potentially arguing over something like this, you're too young/immature for a relationship and would do well being alone for a while.

Your relationship isn’t healthy & maybe the friends don’t like you due to the nature of the on/off-ness of it?!… Do you bicker a lot? The relationships I know that are on/off involve one partner being controlling or them constantly arguing over petty shit…. So maybe they just don’t want your toxic relationship exploding and ruining their DD’s engagement party!
next time you break up fgs stay broken up
and find someone else- I reckon they all know you have no future together

Perhaps when the party was being planned and numbers calculated, you weren't back with your other half , or they were unsure if you still would be , so the engaged couple thought they'd gained another place for one of their own friends

The reason why you're feeling snubbed is because you're having to confront that being a live-in girlfriend is not the same thing as wife.

Me too. I wouldn't mind a night in, but still expect to be asked

You do sound rather needy. Is this one of the reasons your relationships are on/off? What kind of life will your partner have with you if you can't let him go for one evening out celebrating the engagement of someone you don't really know?

Commonplace in the Bengali community. In fact about half a dozen parties before the wedding

I'm not sure that's the point. For me personally I would be quite happy to stay in on my own and wouldn't begrudge my partner a night out but I'd find it weird if I wasn't invited in the first place. I'd never host a party without inviting plus ones. It's just rude and "off" imo. Each to their own I guess