Partner’s daughter calling ex’s partner dad

[Annie890]

My partner sees his 5 year old daughter on weekends, has her stay over etc.

his ex has been with her boyfriend for about 3 years on and off. Partner’s daughter has started calling the boyfriend daddy now, even when she’s in our company.

We find this disrespectful and confusing for her. The ex seems to encourage it and certainly doesn’t correct her as I have been in their company when it’s happened.

What do others think? Should it be discouraged?

That’s interesting. I wonder how bio mom would feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

for my 2 cents worth, if the other gent was a permanent fixture in her life I wouldn’t mind Dad Dave or whatever his name is, but bio Dad being active in her life then is still Dad.

im not too keen on multiple ‘uncles’ flirting in and out of a child’s life portrayed as a parental figure though.

I find this very wrong, the mother should be correcting the daughter .
We have friend whose girlfriend had a son, once when I went to visit I notice the child was calling him dad, I was horrified. They stayed together for about 3 years and then broke up.
I still think about that poor boy, does he have a new daddy now, are all his mother's boyfriends going to be his daddy?

Yep.

So the child was 1 or 2 when her parents split? It’s hardly surprising she calls the new partner dad. She has been in his life for longer than she has been without him. I think in this situation it’s natural to call them both dad.

Depends.

My friends eldest is not her long term partners child but she calls him daddy. He IS daddy, he loves her, cares for her, does pick ups and drop off, attends school plays, kisses her better when she's hurt. She chose to call him daddy.

Her biological father (who she's sees every other weekend and twice in the week) absolutely hates it, tells her off for it, insists she calls him "Paul". Child has now learnt that a) she can't be honest and open when with her father, b) her father is more concerned with his own feelings that her being cared for and looked after, and c) to call daddy 'Paul' when with her father.

She isn't confused, she knows her father is her dad and she knows daddy loves her and takes care of her. She knows she isn't biologically related to daddy in the same way her siblings is.

Kids don't get confused about the things adults think they will. Just like kids very quickly learn they can behave one way at school, a different way with grandparents and a different way with parents. They adapt very easily.

She doesn’t live with him! This has been covered. The man is her mother’s non cohabiting boyfriend.

But does he spend lots of time with her? Something 1:1, take care of her and love her?