Partner’s daughter calling ex’s partner dad

[Annie890]

My partner sees his 5 year old daughter on weekends, has her stay over etc.

his ex has been with her boyfriend for about 3 years on and off. Partner’s daughter has started calling the boyfriend daddy now, even when she’s in our company.

We find this disrespectful and confusing for her. The ex seems to encourage it and certainly doesn’t correct her as I have been in their company when it’s happened.

What do others think? Should it be discouraged?

Your last line there is incredibly unfair.

I agree.

the logistics of separation often means this is the only choice a father has. Courts rarely, if ever, award dads main residence over mum.

he needs to work to pay the CMS and his own costs- mums usually have dropped hours or work around childcare, so the status quo remains dad working, mum doing day to day.

so often a “weekend dad” is the only choice. He could cut his hours, and see the child more, but that will reduce cms…

and so many times on here we’ve seen dads who ask for 50:50 described as “just doesn’t want to pay maintenance”

that’s often down to mums choice. If they go 50:50 she has to take the reduction in CMS, and often this means struggling financially. Two family homes suitable for 50:50 cost a lot, so she needs to get into full time work.

friend of mine recently took his ex to court for 50:50. He got it, but she is furious as she is struggling without the CMs as she doesn’t work.

personally as well if I ever separated, I wouldn’t want to be spending time away from my kids so I’d probably fight 50:50 as well.

Yep. If he does weekends he’s a Disney dad, if he goes for 50:50 he’s a bastard.

not doing 50:50 is such a tired old trope to lambast dads with but it’s rarely in anyone’s best interests, particularly the child’s. Add in a mother who chooses to move away and it’s all but impossible - but somehow it’s the dad’s fault?

Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of shit dads out there but not acknowledging that some situations are created by practicalities and choices on both sides is so petulant.