AIBU to miss my sister's Moroccan wedding with an eight-week-old?

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My Sister is getting married next year abroad in Morocco. I am due to give birth to my 2nd child about 8 weeks before. Our other child is 3yo.

Do you think it would be completely mad of us to go to the wedding with an 8 week old baby who’s only just had their first set of vaccinations?

Then there’s the whole fact we probably will be generally very sleep deprived too.

DH thinks we should just miss it and avoid the stress. I do obviously want to go but maybe it would be too much?

YABU - go to the wedding (with newborn, 3yo and DH)

YANBU - you should stay at home and miss the wedding.

I don’t know - staying on birth control for 2 more months doesn’t seem bonkers if you really want to support your sister, or at least check in what her plans are if you know you’re trying to have another. Different people have different priorities though and that’s fine. Definitely don’t think the sister should be annoyed but it is a thought I had when I read the post as in “I would have done xyz”

OP said she was planning to breastfeed. It wouldn't be a good idea to leave baby at this age when she would still be establishing her supply.

Did you read the bit that there was no date in place when OP got pg? That being the case you could argue that if the sister really wanted her there, she would have made sure that the date of her wedding took into account her sisters pregnancy.

Works both ways.

I flew to the ME with ds when he was 6 weeks old. It was fine. If you don't want to go then don't, but there's no inherent danger if you do want to!

Definitely the case with either of mine! Didn't go to sleep early, didn't sleep through the night etc. both very pleasant little chaps, but 3 year olds do like to run around, so if DH is having to watch him, you may be literally left holding the baby! A couple of posters have said, optimistically, 'people will help', but I'm not sure they'll always be available to do that at a wedding.

I know people who have (heroically, in my view) travelled all over the place with babies, and have enjoyed it. Maybe I'm just too unadventurous, but I think there's a lot to be said for staying at home and letting the family get used to having a new member when the baby has just arrived.

Tell me you aren't being serious

People who opt for overseas weddings surely understand that nearest and dearest may be unable to attend

why not get married in the UK and honeymoon in Morocco. That way guests dont have to traipse all the way there (at great cost/inconvenience)

There are quite a lot of unknowns involved... The due date for example - Baby might be late, they might induce you because your 2 weeks over due and then it still take days. One of mine was due 14th Feb, had her 3rd March. Not meaning to worry you, but it could go either way so just something to think about. And type of labour, A section 5 weeks before would not be so easy for example... Maybe see if you can get somewhere that offers a cancellation policy foc up to 2 weeks before?

I wouldn’t voluntarily go to Morocco without a baby, nevermind with a newborn! Family wedding or not…

Don’t put a brand new baby through that. He/she will still be getting settled that would be incredibly disruptive

Entirely up to you. At this point you don't know how the birth or your recovery will go and whether the baby will be alright.

If you feel you want to do that with an eight week old, great. Plan to go. If not then don't.

But also remember your baby will need a passport and that can take weeks to get too! Logistically that sounds like a lot to me, even if you're both medically clear to travel.

Personally I would not have gone with my baby at that age (she just turned 6 months) and I certainly wouldn't judge you for saying sorry you can't go.

Your wellbeing and the baby's MUST come first.

Having been to Morocco I personally wouldn't not take a baby there. Medical facilities can vary and I just wouldn't risk it with such a young baby. Could you go alone?

Nope I wouldn’t go. Is she your first? Sorry if you’ve already said. And does she have kids?

Between May-October it's going to be HOT.

Weddings are stressful with a young baby, travelling abroad someone unfamiliar with a new baby and a toddler and extreme heat is going to be very stressful.

Is the wedding in Marrakesh? If so the. It’s fairly easy to travel to at short notice if you did decide to go so you could just wait and see how you feel once the baby is here?

Marrakesh also has some excellent hospitals and first rate healthcare so I wouldn’t worry too much on that front.

Don't go. Even so called seasoned travellers and cool, magical people can in my experience can have health and other problems with babies and young children.

Even in European countries never mind Morocco even in really good hotels.

If you do go. Don't think you can use your GHIC card in Morocco. So if you do go. Get a very good comprehensive traveller insurance policy for you and your family.

Stay home and enjoy your new baby.
And before anybody kicks off Mumsnet Style. I have been to Morocco 3 times.

She started planning but wasn’t 100% set on what was happening (as far as I knew anyway!). They didn’t know we were TTC. They would’ve actually made it later if they could so we could come but due to the heat of Morocco and other commitments it just wasn’t going to be feasible date wise before it gets super hot there.
She isn’t pressuring us to come and does understand. I’ve spoken with her now and let her know that I just don’t think it’s going to be feasible. I obviously would love to go so was quite torn really hence the thread.

We will go to their legal marriage as I’ve stated. To them their real ‘Wedding’ is the party abroad though.

I had read it as wedding was planned before she got pregnant

ETA now clarified by OP

I think you’re totally fine not going. Best for baby and you. Just responding to posters that think it’s absolutely ludicrous someone might delay TtC for a sister’s wedding! In my world it’s something I would consider 😊

I think you not going is wise, though a bit disappointing to miss out.

Baby might be late, or early.
Might sleep well or not
You might have pph and be bed bound for a bit.
Or a caesarian that doesn't heal well.
Might get a refluxy manic feeder.
You might get ppd, especially if under pressure to be ready to travel.
Or you could get lucky and get a chilled out regular feeding baby but 6-8 weeks will be too early to guarantee that for sure.

Registring, passport, travel plans, insurance, could all be tricky.

Exposure to a whole new set of illnesses. (Like when they start nursery or uni)

Too many variables.

I wouldn’t do it but a lot of people do. Will you be early or late, will you need a C-section. 8 weeks after one of those and you’ll still be sore so is lugging baggage and kids about and walking through an airport something you need to do, what if you get knocked into? The seatbelt for the plane would go right over the wound area, sitting for a long time can be sore and risk of DVT? There are so many variables. There is that to factor in plus if you’re unable to breastfeed, you’ll have to think of bottles, formula and all that entails. It would be too much stress for me and I’d be concentrating more on establishing a routine and still recovering at home given the baby will only be 2 months and having a 3 year old.

Hi OP, my sister got married in South Africa. My only sibling. We took our 8 week old with us, Flew out from London though, with a connection in JHB. No problems whatsoever. Airports/airport staff and passengers were very patient and helpful. I was feeding her myself on the way out but bottle fed on the way back! A week later. Much easier than flying with a toddler :) she is a nightmare now to do anything!!!!

If it was me i will not miss my sister wedding amd go on my own when my husband mind the kids at home.

Dear OP, from your messages it sounds like you don’t want to go. It is fine to not go! Your sister would understand, surely

And how would you breast feed a 6 week old from 1.5k miles away?

ETA and she isnt missing the wedding. I suggest you read the thread.

Your sister your call. I wouldnt consider you unreasonable either way

Id also consider could you go and leave DCs with DH if you dont BF. Not saying you should or shouldnt but id consider my options and decide what I thought was best.