AIBU to miss my sister's Moroccan wedding with an eight-week-old?

[Alpsk1]

My Sister is getting married next year abroad in Morocco. I am due to give birth to my 2nd child about 8 weeks before. Our other child is 3yo.

Do you think it would be completely mad of us to go to the wedding with an 8 week old baby who’s only just had their first set of vaccinations?

Then there’s the whole fact we probably will be generally very sleep deprived too.

DH thinks we should just miss it and avoid the stress. I do obviously want to go but maybe it would be too much?

YABU - go to the wedding (with newborn, 3yo and DH)

YANBU - you should stay at home and miss the wedding.

This was going to be my suggestion. A breastfed 8 week old should be easy enough to manage. The 3yr old ... aargh

Since you're breastfeeding, you can be meticulous about drinking safe bottled water and avoiding wet/raw items (for you and the 3yo) and so protect the baby from food and water contaminants that way. But I'd guess that there will be family and friends there who will want to see and interact with the baby, but because they have travelled from the UK or elsewhere and are in an environment which is both unfamiliar AND prone to bacteria and different safety issues than at home, there's heightened risk that the baby (and you) could come into contact with someone with diarrhoea, etc. One thing I'd consider is how large the group at the wedding will be and whether you can reasonably trust/expect them to be very careful about the children.

Morocco isn't covered by GHIC (the reciprocal arrangement for UK travellers to be treated abroad in some circumstance based on their NHS coverage) so make sure you have a good insurance policy for the whole family including private care coverage (Moroccan public hospitals are not what you're likely used to even without the language barrier) and emergency evacuation/repatriation if you do go.

I think it is perfectly understandable why you wouldn't go.

I don't think I would if I am honest.

I would absolutely go! I went travelling a lot with mine when they were babies, I love adventures and now my kids are th same, we always word it as a adventure,

but you gotta do you. I wouldn’t hesitate to go

We travelled with our first at just after 8 weeks, in many ways it is the perfect age. They sleep a lot still so can be in a sling, the plane journey itself is no problem, if you are breastfeeding then you dont need to worry about boiling water etc. for formula. They also havent started putting everything in their mouth yet and you dont need to worry about foreign ice, salads, meat etc. when theyre weaning.

It would depend on how you recovered though so youd need to manage expectations in case you did need to cancel.

You'd be mad to do this. With a baby and a toddler, it's not going down the road for a couple of hours.

I've been to Morocco twice, amazing country but the hygiene standards are just not the same as here. It's still a developing country.

If she is marrying into a Moroccan family you have years ahead of you to introduce your kids to that side of it.

This. Not in Morocco. Too risky.

You would certainly be advised to have a induction after 42 weeks so 2 weeks late is about the limit.

I would plan to go but be ready to pull out and make them all aware.

Don't go. Even after ny easy second labour I was not in a fit state for international travel 8 weeks pp.

Honestly, at 8 weeks I’d be reluctant to go to a different country or climate. That’s the point at which your babies is transitioning from relying on all the antibodies you gave her to building her own immune system. vaccines won’t be effective for 10 - 14 days and are, in any case only the first set and provide only partial immunity. You are intending taking her, at her weakest point, on a crowded plane and through two international transit hubs. Lots of novel (to the baby and to you) pathogens. If you are breast feeding you risk compromising this if you get D&V or some other infection, which is not uncommon in new countries or climates.

On a balance of probabilities, you and she will be most likely be fine. But the risk is not minimal.

Is it a wedding in the desert ? I went to one not long ago and it was incredibly hot with no air conditioning. We had an incredible time but we were pretty uncomfortable a lot of the time and we just had to manage ourselves. Your sisters wedding might be different but I wouldn't do the wedding I did in Morocco with a small child, let alone a newborn

There is not a chance I'd go to Morocco for a wedding full stop. Too far, too hot and everyone I know who has been says its an absolute dump full of men harassing you.

Throw into that a toddler and newborn and it would be a no thanks with bells on.

What is wrong with people expecting others to traipse abroad for their wedding. They should obviously just go there on honeymoon.

My parents took me to Morocco when I was about 8 months, but at 8 weeks I would be too exhausted to even think about it. It sounds incredibly stressful and with a whole wedding day to get through in the heat, still healing and you don’t even know how the birth will go, you may have Caesarian or stitches. And it would be a lot of money wasted if you can’t go. I would be declining the invite. Morocco is also one of those places where you can get stomach issues with the water, even in a good hotel you have to watch the ice and stuff like that. It just sounds like it will be super stressful and leading up to it you will be panicking and worrying, then there’s packing and passports for the baby. Bringing baby carriers and prams into the flight etc.

It would be a no from me. I still had trouble walking and aching when mine were eight weeks. Not a chance I'd have managed an airport run, flight, wedding and return - all with two babies strapped to me.

You are seeing them get married. You would basically be missing a party. I wouldn’t go

I took my 8 week old to a wedding abroad. Yes we had to be organised and pack a ridiculous amount of things for a 5 day trip, but we had a great time. We'd of been sleep deprived either way, home or away.
If you feel like you'd be up to it I'd go 😊

I'd go and I've had five sections!

She is going to the wedding where they get legally married.

so sorry, I posted UNREASONABLE when I meant NOT unreasonable, couldn't see how to change my vote! 😓

assuming that is in the UK then that is a no brainer. Go to that and skip Morocco.

I'd have to be desperate to go to travel with a baby. It's bloody misery. So much stuff to pack.

Absolute madness. Not somewhere I would go with a newborn.

I’ve taken all four of mine on their first holidays abroad at that sort of age. If you’re breastfeeding it’s the easiest time! However I don’t know if I’d be heading to Morocco.