AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

[BadGran]

I know I probably IABU but I need a little moan. My husband & I are currently in a very difficult situation with a very ill relative and we need to travel to see them urgently.

It’s all happened very quickly and as a result we are struggling to find someone to look after our dog while we are away. We have 3 children - our 2 daughters are always happy to chip in with the dog where they can when we are in a bind but my son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Anyway both my daughters have jobs with no flexibility or working from home options so can’t help on this occasion. My son is working abroad. My Daughter-in-Law is a housewife so theoretically could help but as previously mentioned she refuses to have anything to do with the dog.

I know she is perfectly within her rights and it’s our dog not hers but I’m finding it quite hard not to feel quite cross about the whole situation as I feel this is adding an additional layer of stress in already horrible circumstances.

AIBU to feel this way ?

no I know that but I do think you have more of a duty to help in those situations than you do with pet!

Also most people aren’t scared of children and are not allergic to children.

I really really sympathise with the panic of not being able to arrange dog care for a time when you definitely definitely need it, no option to decline the meeting/event etc and all your usual options are drawing blanks. It's panic inducing - your poor dog wtf am I going to do to keep him/her safe? How the hell am I going to manage this occassion? Etc etc Even other people who have dogs - what if they don't get on?

I do think your DIL is within her rights to say no, though. As hard as that is for you.

No advice but just support - I really hope you find a solution for this occasion. Ask people who you think you could trust but wouldnt normally ask, now is the (desperate) time to be brave - a neighbour you're on friendly terms with but not chummy with for example. Or perhaps a colleague? People might be happy to help and you never know if you don't ask xxx

Take the dog with you to see your relative. If you think that’s wrong, then you should also think it’s wrong to impose on your daughter in law when she doesn’t like dogs

Just because its family it dont mean there is a duty to help in any situation.

Really. What’s so confusing. Dogs don’t care if your
fat/thin
rich or poor
what you do for a living
how much you earn
pretty or ugly
how many friends you have
healthy or ill
how big your house is
your Facebook/ instagram posts
married or single
dogs only want 3 things
love
food
shelter
now tell me how many humans are like that

Oh no I really disagree with that. Families should help each other, it’s what they are for. My mum’s having an operation tomorrow, I’ll be popping round on Wednesday with a couple of lasagnes so neither she nor my dad have to cook this week. (Just an example from today!)

Thats because you WANT to do that.
Some people dont want to.

Of course it’s the same thing. It’s a lot of work and responsibility to look after grand children but many, many parents do it. I cannot fathom being unwilling to put myself out for immediate family in an emergency.

That doesn’t make it right though does it? No man is an island, we all need help sometimes!

Me me me i want food and shelter no love very happy single.

We help if we want to.
But noway am i looking after kids or pets.

It seems, from previous posts, that the OP hasn't been asked to help her DIL out anymore, not since she dropped her grand-baby on its head.

our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

It sounds like you and DH and your 2 daughters descend on your poor DIL for Christmas or for weekend stays and you expect your dogs to be hosted as well.

Poor DIL.

What has your daughters working got to do with the dog going there ?
A dog should be absolutely fine being left while its owners work.

That is exactly what children want!

You’re not being unreasonable op. There’s things I don’t like but in an urgent situation, I absolutely would. Even if i didn’t like it.

lol. How many people post about problems with children compared to problems with dogs. Naaaa I’ll stick with dogs any day

youre a horrible mother in law

Ruff!!

Some people find any sort of dog scary. Also, they are allowed not to like dogs (or cats, or cabbage, or Eurovision, or anything else) for whatever reason.

Some rescues can help with emergency foster care for your pets whilst someone in the family is ill. Might be worth reaching out to one

Also, looking after someone else's dog is a big deal, even if you like dogs. It's understandable that someone who doesn't like dogs doesn't want to get involved

Your grandkids are your own flesh and blood! Dogs aren't even the same species!

Having a dog for a while when you don't like dogs is well beyond putting yourself out.

Replace dog with an animal you don't like or are scared of. Not just an inconvenience now is it?

I think people who do like dogs will never understand.