AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

[BadGran]

I know I probably IABU but I need a little moan. My husband & I are currently in a very difficult situation with a very ill relative and we need to travel to see them urgently.

It’s all happened very quickly and as a result we are struggling to find someone to look after our dog while we are away. We have 3 children - our 2 daughters are always happy to chip in with the dog where they can when we are in a bind but my son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Anyway both my daughters have jobs with no flexibility or working from home options so can’t help on this occasion. My son is working abroad. My Daughter-in-Law is a housewife so theoretically could help but as previously mentioned she refuses to have anything to do with the dog.

I know she is perfectly within her rights and it’s our dog not hers but I’m finding it quite hard not to feel quite cross about the whole situation as I feel this is adding an additional layer of stress in already horrible circumstances.

AIBU to feel this way ?

If she doesn't like dogs and doesn't feel comfortable around the dog then she shouldn't have to look after your dog. I wouldn't want a dog in my house either as I don't feel comfortable. Good on your DIL for saying no

Pay for a dog sitter!

Not everyone likes dogs. She doesn’t. End of

If she is not a dog person, your dog would not have a happy time anyway. Even if she did do you a favour, in the circumstances you have, it probably would not be the right solution.

I find this really weird

Not the fact she won't look after the mut I wouldn't either

But the fact you take it to their house when you know she doesn't like them

Pop the dog in kennels

Have you considered a kennel?

Indeed.

It's precisely for such emergency occasions that I advise people who own dogs NEVER to rely solely on friends and family looking after them.

Good advice. Though if the dog isn't fully vaccinated and inoculated against kennel cough, that might not be possible in short order.

Have you considered she might actually be afraid or allergic too rather than just dislike dogs, find a dog sitter or kennels.

Kennels should be relatively quiet at this time of year. I have three dogs and no way would I ask anyone who didn’t like dogs to look after them under any circumstances. Ask a friend who likes dogs or take the dog to kennels.

if she doesn’t like dogs , that’s it. There are people who’ll come to yours ,those who offer stays at theirs or just walk and fed them. I don’t have dogs and was initially reluctant to look after my adult children’s dogs but love having them. One son and his wife like animals but have a toddler who adores the dogs but don’t want them in their home and we understand and respect that .

Dog owner and dog lover here. You are being unreasonable to both your DiL AND your dog. Why would you want someone who doesn’t like dogs to care for your pet? She’s said she doesn’t like dogs. So she’s entitled to refuse. I’m sorry you’re having a stressful time, but you need to organise a dog sitter or kennels.

You've no justification in my mind for feeling cross with her. I'm not a dog person and wouldn't ever have a dog in my house. Your dogs are your responsibly not hers. Dogs can be very unpredictable and make me anxious at times.

This is daft. It’s your pet! Imagine if a
relative decided you needed to care for their horse in your garden due to a personal emergency. Or take in their snake etc. having a pet is tricky in these circumstances but it’s why you need an iron clad option such as a decent local kennel or sitter.

Can the dog go in a kennel or have someone look after him/her in your house. My friend does thos. Theres a charge but dog looked after at home, so all is good!

It’s really not the same thing.
It’s a lot of responsibility looking after someone else’s dog, especially when have you have little to no experience of dogs.

It is not as if DIL has always been fine with the dog and is now refusing in OP’s hour of need.
OP knows the situation but is pushing the boundaries and then feeling annoyed.

Do you help them out a lot with grandkids a lot?
Even if you do, I still think yabu, but understand why you’d be a bit cross. However people who are dog owners often don’t get that it’s a big ask to ask others to care for your dog. I’m not even sure I’d know how!

Can you not put the dog in the kennels?

I cannot stand dogs and wouldn’t help in this situation. I am actually quite a helpful person who volunteers myself for stuff but this is something I wouldn’t do.

I’ve been in a bind a few times with my cat and would never feel this way to anyone who couldn’t or wouldn’t help out. It was my choice to get a pet and I understand sometimes that means having to board her even though I hate doing so and prefer a pet sitter. The only responsibility is my own.

I know it’s your dog and your problem but I’d be pissed off with her and take a real dislike to her…yes it’s unreasonable but I would. I just find people like this really awkward and childish, just bloody help out in a difficult situation total wet wipe

My partner and me absolutely love dogs and we are the go too people when our friends need dog sitters. Iv looked after every thing from a dash hound to a XL bully. We treat them as if they were our own pets. But I fully understand that your SIL is not a dog person. I still don’t understand how people cannot love dogs. They are frikking wonderful

Then you lack empathy.

I find the inflexibility of posters disappointing.
So much for family. She does not even appear to want to help in an emergency unforeseen situation. Hope DIL never needs help

There was a past thread mentioned yesterday where OP talks about dropping her grandchild on its head and not being trusted to care for the child again. So I am guessing not.

She doesn’t like dogs. The end.
I don’t like dogs either and don’t want one in my house, ever. Sorry if that offends the ‘dogs are people too’ brigade but dog folk really need to start understanding that not everyone likes your furry friend!