AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

[BadGran]

I know I probably IABU but I need a little moan. My husband & I are currently in a very difficult situation with a very ill relative and we need to travel to see them urgently.

It’s all happened very quickly and as a result we are struggling to find someone to look after our dog while we are away. We have 3 children - our 2 daughters are always happy to chip in with the dog where they can when we are in a bind but my son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Anyway both my daughters have jobs with no flexibility or working from home options so can’t help on this occasion. My son is working abroad. My Daughter-in-Law is a housewife so theoretically could help but as previously mentioned she refuses to have anything to do with the dog.

I know she is perfectly within her rights and it’s our dog not hers but I’m finding it quite hard not to feel quite cross about the whole situation as I feel this is adding an additional layer of stress in already horrible circumstances.

AIBU to feel this way ?

She doesn't like dogs. It's really that simple.

I'm sorry you are having a stressful time. I am not a dog person. I couldn't deal with a dog in my house.

I don’t particularly like dogs and am nervous around them. I wouldn’t take care of a dog, no matter then circumstances. Your DIL is quite right to refuse to look after your dog.

I'd have someone's kids in my house but I'd not have a dog even in an emergency.
I'd caveat with I'd go to theirs to feed/walk if it was an emergency and there was no other options. With that said I'm not scared of dogs, is she?

I say this as someone with a dog…you’re being completely unreasonable. Your daughter in law has been 💯 clear and consistent on but being able to help with the dog. People who don’t like dogs shouldn’t be put in a position where they need to care for one! You need to look for a dogsitter or home boarding option. It’s hard in an emergency but if you own a dog you need to prepare and invest time in finding paid options for those emergencies. Hope you find someone. It must be stressful

Yabvu. She doesn't like dogs.
Cant believe you even asked her.
Put it in Kennels

Massive dog lover, but she doesn’t like dogs. Pay a sitter

Yes, I'm afraid you are being totally unreasonable. But you already knew that.

I hate dogs so would feel this is a massive imposition. It’s your responsibility. Find another solution.

Does she have any other pets?

Your dog is not her responsibility.

I would help my PIL if needed at any time but I would struggle to look after a dog. I’m not a dog person, it would make me uncomfortable in my own house.
How long are you asking her to have the dog?

Why do you take the dog to their house when you know she doesn't like them...and then moan because it has to stay in the garden ?
Not everyone lives dogs..

I don't like dogs. I could never do this even in an emergency. Yabu

It's interesting that you accept your daughters employers boundaries but not your daughter in laws boundaries. Maybe their employers are being unreasonable? Your daughter in law has a hard no. The same way the employers have a hard no to flexibility and remote working.

I cannot believe anyone wouldn’t help in this situation regardless of their preferences. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable @BadGran - you’re not off on a jolly,

Can you not put it in kennels

I have friends who have dogs and almost all of them expect their children to dog sit for them whenever they want to go away. I’ve had conversations where my friends are almost put out that sometimes it’s not convenient, or the children just don’t want to do it.

It has been many years since I’ve had dogs but I used to use kennels. Is that not an option? Not everyone likes dogs and they shouldn’t have to look after someone else’s dog if they don’t want to.

Of course you're being unreasonable. I love dogs and have three, but I wouldn't dream of expecting someone, who I know doesn't like dogs, look after them. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, but this is not a problem you should pass on to someone else.

YABU. I don't like dogs and would not look after one for any length of time. Do either of your daughters have a partner or husband who could step in to help?

This! I can’t believe the entitlement of some dog owners

My DiL loves dogs but is allergic to them. There is no way I would expect her to look after our dog.

Yes, YABU.

If a relative of yours had pets you strongly disliked - snakes, for example, or rats , or tarantulas- would you be happy about being expected to care for them in your own home ?

Why can’t your dogs go into kennels? We don’t have extended family living locally, so if we’re all away the cat goes to the cattery.

I don't like dogs and would never do this for someone even in a emergency. I don't like them, I don't trust them, they make me anxious. Sorry. Get a kennel.

Your dog. Your issue. Your daughter in law has done nothing wrong here.