AIBU to complain after NHS dentist did filling for my 16 year-old?

[Claryyy]

Looking for some advice/perspective on this as I’m absolutely fuming and not sure where I stand legally or ethically with our NHS dentist.

My 16yo DS went for a standard routine check-up on his own today. He’s always had glowing reports and zero issues so I didn't think twice about letting him go alone (his first time alone).

He came home and told me that the dentist found a hole in his back molar. Because they had a free slot right after his appointment, she went straight ahead and did a silver filling there and then. DS said he felt completely pressured into it and didn't really feel like he could say no.

I’m upset about this on so many levels:

• Lack of consent/consultation: Should the dentist not have spoken to me first? I know he's not a baby anymore, but to go straight from a routine check-up into a procedure without giving him time to process it or talk to a parent feels wrong.
• Amalgam filling: They gave him a silver amalgam filling. If I’d known, I would have 100% paid privately for a white composite filling. It looks so dark and obvious in his mouth and he's self-conscious about it.
• Dubious need: Given his track record, I’m genuinely dubious he even needed it done urgently.
• The experience: He was completely unprepared. He’s never had a local anaesthetic injection in his mouth before and he said the whole thing was terrifying and hurt a fair bit.

AIBU to be furious about how this was handled? Can an NHS dentist just carry out procedures on a teenager without discussing options with a parent or explaining material choices?

Has anyone dealt with something similar, and is it worth making a formal complaint to the practice manager? Would you like help drafting a formal complaint letter to the practice manager once you see what the consensus is on your post?

I’d be very upset by this. The fact that he says he felt pressured would be enough for me to complain. I wouldn’t want my kid having an amalgam filling either.

Dentists do not profit when it comes to free NHS treatment- that’s why so many go private and it’s so difficult to get an NHS dentist.

There is literally no benefit to a dentist doing this.
No one would choose to do a procedure and do extra work, instead of having an extra break or catching up on paperwork etc.

And this isn’t a fun, rare procedure - it was a standard filling that dentists do almost every day of their lives.

You and your family/friends sound like conspiracy theorists because it means every single one of you would have to go to the dentist and then go to 2 more dentists to get their opinions (you would need at least 2 more opinions as the 2nd dentist could be ‘lying’ too) - no one would go to multiple dentists unless it was a big, risky procedure.

Sorry but you are lying if you say that you and your family/friends have all regularly got the opinion of at least 3 dentists for every procedure they suggest.

But when you go to the dentist you KNOW that there is a chance of having some sort of procedure.

It’s like going to the gp or A&E - if you have a problem they’re going to run possibly quite intrusive tests and give you treatment.

As a parent, you would speak to your child beforehand and discuss what might happen.

If you don’t think your child can consent then you go in with them.

This is on OP for not preparing her son.

What’s next - complaining that the nurse at A&E put someone’s broken arm in a cast because they were out of it on pain relief?

True. But it’s not often the procedure is done immediately. The usual process is that you rebook for another time, thus giving chance to discuss before the procedure.

I agree OP bears responsibility for preparing her son etc but the underlying issue is if he felt under pressure to have the procedure then the consent is not valid and the dentist has acted unprofessionally.

I’m not lying or a conspiracy theorist. I can remember three occasions where I’ve been advised I need dental treatment that wasn’t necessary. Over the past twenty plus years I’ve had odd conversations with others who have similar stories. Obviously these are anecdotes and I have not way of going back and verifying claims but that’s not how conversations work unless you’re on Mumsnet.

How would you know whether it was necessary or not? Do you have the 7 years training to become a dentist, plus the however many years experience? You can only know that one said it was necessary and one didn’t. You cannot know which one was right. Or maybe it’s subjective anyway, or the one who said it was necessary was right, but you’ve just been lucky to not have any further problems, yet. You don’t know.

I find it really interesting that GPs and hospital staff are regularly ripped apart on this forum but you can’t entertain the thought that a dentist could ever be wrong. I did 11 years of training for my career, but I can admit that I am sometimes wrong. Human nature isn’t it.

With regards to my experience one was that twenty years ago I was told I needed a wisdom tooth extraction and the dentist could do it there and then. Like OP’s son I felt uncomfortable about that, said i was busy and didn’t rebook. 20 odd years later and I’ve never had a single problem with my wisdom teeth, never needed an extraction and it’s never been mentioned by any of the many dentists I’ve seen in the intervening years. So though I haven’t specifically sought out a second opinion, and even without a degree in dentistry, I feel confident to say that had I had the surgery that day it would’ve been unnecessary. His motivation for his advice? No idea! Genuinely thought it was best practice? Bored? Fairly newly qualified and wanted the experience? I can’t answer that.

But how would you and all these people know you didn’t need the procedures?

Unless you get a second opinion or third opinion then how would you know that a medical professional who has trained for 5 years and practiced for many more is wrong.

Obviously some are more cautious than others but I’d say it’s way more likely to be the opposite saying that you don’t need treatment when it’s free on the NHS, than saying that you do need treatment.
Like normal healthcare, you hear a lot of stories about the people not being taken seriously but very, very rare being given the wrong treatment.

With my DC we came up with an excuse of what she could say if ever in a similar situation.

I feel sorry for DS if he felt pushed into it but I assume the dentist assumed he was able to give consent if his mum felt confident allowing him to go alone.

GPs and hospitals are ripped apart usually because they dismiss symptoms.

If DS went in complaining of toothache and the dentist dismissed it, then we’d be saying that it was unprofessional etc.

There was a thread about an emergency dentist refusing to see the OPs son because it wasn’t bleeding and every single person said how ridiculous it was and no one stuck up for the dentist.

But from the OP he went in for a check up, not expecting treatment. He felt pressured to consent, that is not legitimate informed consent.

If a woman was saying she went to the GPs and felt pressured to consent to a smear test the response would be very different.

Well, as above, I know because 20 years later I’ve never had a single problem with the tooth in question. if there was a problem to the extent I needed an extraction there and then, surely I’d have gone on to have more problems? Or maybe, watch and wait was the most appropriate management.

I think dentists - and opticians - working in the private sector are very prone to upselling, and presenting "treatment plans" that can often be deferred or even ignored.

But this was an NHS dentist. No profit in it for him to do an amalgam filling, and no point in doing it if it wasn't needed. His mistake - if any - might have been to not suggest a white filling but he probably thought the 16yo wouldn't be able to pay on the spot given NHS is free.

Nothing to see here in reality.

If a woman went to the gp as she was experiencing problems with her vagina, the gp will more than likely ask her to lie on the bed and take a look - that wouldn’t come as a shock.

They wouldn’t do a full smear test purely because they wouldn’t have the time.

But if you went to A&E then you would very likely have some sort of more invasive tests or treatment.

I think the majority of people go to the dentist knowing there’s a chance they’ll have some sort of procedure there and then - like when you go to A&E.
That’s why so many people don’t like the dentist and feel relieved when they say everything’s fine.

I assume the dentist didn’t see anything wrong in doing a routine procedure to stop any future pain and it was on DS (OP and her DH) to have an excuse ready.

I feel really sorry for DS if he felt pressured into it and it goes to show the issues with consent but it sounds like OP is more annoyed about the colour of it and his clean record of good teeth, rather than actually having it done.

I don’t think you understand how informed consent works. What you’re describing is implied consent. A good example is you book a blood test appointment so you should expect to have a blood test and not expect the phlebotomist to explicitly take consent. You book a routine dental check up so the dentist doesn’t explicitly consent you to look in your mouth and examine your teeth. However, an invasive procedure not usually included in a routine check up and requiring another appointment needs informed consent. It is absolutely the job of the professional to ensure the patient is able to give informed consent, this goes for every patient be they 16, 30 or 99. If the lad felt pressured then he has not willingly consented and that is an issue.

Edited for typo.

DS consented.

You know if you go to the dentist, gp, A&E etc you might get a procedure done.

You will be asked to give consent.

If you can’t give consent, then you don’t go alone.

He felt pressure to consent. That’s not valid consent. The responsibility lies squarely with the professional to ensure someone is able to give informed consent.

If you feel pressured into doing something that is not freely given informed consent. This is basic stuff for a healthcare professional.

Hmm so how does that explain all the ambulance people pressuring people to go to hospital to be " checked out". Or the pressure put on patients in a ward to have obs taken etc

Yes, good questions. If you have capacity you can decline to attend hospital or to have your obs done on a ward. A conversation with the paramedic/HCA/nurse in which they explain the risks and benefits of going to hospital vs staying at home, or having obs done vs not is entirely appropriate and part of the consent process. You have a right to say no, even if it seems a bonkers decision to everyone else. The intensity of these conversations I’m sure will be determined by the risks - if paramedic thinks you’ve had a heart attack then I’m sure they’ll lay it on thick, if your getting better in a ward then declining obs at two in the morning is probably readily accepted. But medicine is fraught with ethical dilemmas.

The pressure still happens though

Bear in mind, the son's probably trying to shift his mother's focus to the dentist. She's fuming he had the filling, he's going to say 'I couldn't say no!' when the starts flipping her lid.

Whether or not it's valid consent depends on what the dentist said and how he behaved, not what the son felt or says he felt. Else no health care professional could ever know whether somebody has really given consent for anything. If the dentist was perfectly reasonable in giving the recommendation but the son felt pressured anyway for whatever reason then that's on the son - at some point he'll have to learn to know his own mind. I find it difficult to believe that an NHS dentist is going to be so bothered about doing a filling that their behaviour crosses the line from pressure to outright coercion, but then I haven't experienced these dodgy dentists that apparently plague the UK.

And anyway it's just a sodding filling - he hasn't come back looking like Flavor Flav so it's a load of fuss over nothing IMO.

I am taken aback than amalgam is still used in the UK! I thought it was phased out ages ago.

I would be upset for that reason, even if it concerned my own teeth. You can however go private to have the filling replaced with a composite.

This thread descended into stupidity pages ago and just goes on getting worse🙄

Where is OP

Asking AI to write her a complaint letter