AIBU to complain after NHS dentist did filling for my 16 year-old?

[Claryyy]

Looking for some advice/perspective on this as I’m absolutely fuming and not sure where I stand legally or ethically with our NHS dentist.

My 16yo DS went for a standard routine check-up on his own today. He’s always had glowing reports and zero issues so I didn't think twice about letting him go alone (his first time alone).

He came home and told me that the dentist found a hole in his back molar. Because they had a free slot right after his appointment, she went straight ahead and did a silver filling there and then. DS said he felt completely pressured into it and didn't really feel like he could say no.

I’m upset about this on so many levels:

• Lack of consent/consultation: Should the dentist not have spoken to me first? I know he's not a baby anymore, but to go straight from a routine check-up into a procedure without giving him time to process it or talk to a parent feels wrong.
• Amalgam filling: They gave him a silver amalgam filling. If I’d known, I would have 100% paid privately for a white composite filling. It looks so dark and obvious in his mouth and he's self-conscious about it.
• Dubious need: Given his track record, I’m genuinely dubious he even needed it done urgently.
• The experience: He was completely unprepared. He’s never had a local anaesthetic injection in his mouth before and he said the whole thing was terrifying and hurt a fair bit.

AIBU to be furious about how this was handled? Can an NHS dentist just carry out procedures on a teenager without discussing options with a parent or explaining material choices?

Has anyone dealt with something similar, and is it worth making a formal complaint to the practice manager? Would you like help drafting a formal complaint letter to the practice manager once you see what the consensus is on your post?

At 16 he can consent to fillings, if you didn't think he was capable then you should have gone with him. I do find it weird that the nhs still uses amalgam fillings, they use composite as standard where I live now.

He’s self conscious about a filling? Really??

I’m with you OP, amalgam fillings look gross and are not great. I’d go back and complain and get them replace it with white. Nobody in my home country gets them as long as they can afford white fillings.

I’m guessing the dentist presumed you were happy from him to make his own decisions given you sent him alone.

So you were fine with your son going to the dentist by himself, but now that the dentist has done some really quite minor dentisty stuff it's imperative that you should have been there because of the scourge of dodgy dentists that apparently blights the country. Complain if you like but it'll only achieve 2 things: you looking a bit mad, and you not having a dentist. And FFS don't include the AI prompt and suggested follow-up actions.

He's 16. He can consent to his own medical treatment. If you haven't prepared him for that level of independence and responsibility that's on you. Time to catch him up!

Would you like help drafting a formal complaint letter to the practice manager once you see what the consensus is on your post?

Oh dear I'm cringing for you!

Did he not have his phone with him? I understand he may have felt pressured to say yes but surely he could have said I need to ring my Mum to let her know, or ring you after the injection while waiting for it to numb. Did he have means to pay the difference, as he would have been expecting to pay a check up fee and a filling would be the next payment band would it not?

I would maybe speak with the practice if it makes you feel better but I don’t think it’s formal complaint worthy. Be cautious that your own feelings about how it looks don’t influence his, silver fillings don’t look that bad.

As a side note, and general observation- why go to AI to ask this question?

I’m a dental hygienist and recently had an amalgam filling. It’s a huge filling in a back tooth and composite fillings have failed twice. In some cases amalgam is totally fine. It really isn’t the devil. It is often far more long lasting for back teeth.

OP I would also be very careful with making a complaint. I’m not saying you can’t at all, but if you go in ranting and raving chances are the dentist could just tell you to go elsewhere in future and you’ll lose your NHS dentist. If you feel that strongly about it then by all means complain. I just wouldn’t go in too heavy handed if you want to remain a patient of the practice.

A bit of an overreaction I’m afraid, he is 16. The dentist was doing their job.
Does a local anaesthetic not mean it was a sizeable area of decay? It’s really not that painful….and I hate a dentist visit!!
Have the filling replaced with a white one if you and son feel strongly about this.
Don’t upset your NHS dentist unless you want to find a new one.

Children are free on the NHS so he wouldn’t be paying anything at all for the treatment so the bands are irrelevant.

I cannot believe you’re complaining an NHS dentist managed to fit in treatment for your son. People are desperate to see dentists. I think you should do the decent thing and have all of your treatment done privately so that another family can benefit from the NHS. Also, he’s 16, not six. “Unprepared” for a tiny filling…

What is the process removing anew one and replacing with a white filling ? Going through similar with my 14 year old and want it changed asap

My DC has had two fillings recently, both done during a routine check-up. I was glad we didn’t have to make another appointment each time. I don’t see a problem with that. If your DC isn’t mature or confident enough to deal with such an appointment alone, then they should have had a parent with them.

Making a complaint would be daft IMO. You know your child better than them and if you thought they were ok to go along, you can’t blame the dentist for following your lead. There’s always a risk that something will need to be done.

He can have it replaced, as I agree with some other posters that amalgam isn't good for health. But it would need to be replaced by a dentist who uses the SMART/ IAOMT protocol to ensure it's removed safely and mercury isn't absorbed by the body during removal.

Maybe people should get a private dentist then, instead of using a valuable NHS place

The dentist made sure the tooth did not become worse so she filled the hole. If you want to, book another appointment for the amalgam to get removed and a composite one put in its place. Not a big deal. Honestly. The dentist was just getting on with her job.

They didnt technically do anything wrong but it’s worth making a complaint so that they think about it next time they have a young person in their chair.

@Claryyy

1. past “track record” of never having required a filling doesn’t mean that he didn’t require one this time - surely everyone who’s ever had a filling for the first time would argue that they’re being duped ?

2. did your Son sign a consent form ? I’m not a dentist but I would have thought things should have been explained to him and him at least been given the option to have a white filling. Are you saying this wasn’t explained to him at all because it was offered to me when I’ve had my (1st ever 🤭) filling so definitely think that’s odd. Usually NHS dentists can do the composite ones too also id have expected them to have offered it at least.

3. re being pressured - Its very tricky and depends on the nature of your son. It’s awful if he did actually feel pressured into doing it. But that doesn’t necessarily mean he was. He may never have been in that situation before and felt overwhelmed which is not the same as pressured into it. I can see how the interaction may be daunting for some 16 year olds who haven’t had to make many decisions before and an internal pressure to get it done and get out of there is different from someone putting pressure on you.

Someone saying “I can do it now for you, do you want me to do it” is very different to “it’s extremely important you get it done now, if you don’t you will likely never get the opportunity again soon and you may have awful tooth pain” - perhaps you should clarify the actual wording and seperate the emotion from it. I would also as others have said try and speak to your son about things he could do in the future if in a situation like this. He could have said can I just call my Mum quickly about it (assuming he has a phone), said thanks but not sure I’ll try and rebook, etc. he does have agency and that’s on him and you to ensure he can communicate his boundaries.

Another option is that that your reaction to your son getting a filling without your consent has led him to say that he felt pressured into it as he felt he has to justify it to you.

If he genuinely was pressured and there’s some more evidence to support this then I do think that’s not ok and agree that you should complain about that specifically.

4. I’m sorry he has been in pain with the local anaesthetic- my experience is that the pain is usually only when it goes in and then the mouth feels numb after - if still in pain / uncomfy then definitely report back to the dentist about it, however in order to get either a composite of a silver filling local anaesthetic must be used (unless you’re cruel) so I don’t think that this could be avoided

I have had loads of fillings ( I know, nothing to brag about!) and the pain goes after the treatment. It's only temporary where the needle goes in. He will be fine. They know what they're doing.

Go with him next time if you want to dictate all medical treatments. Unless he had SEN then leave him to get on with it.

Legally your son is able to consent and there’s no requirement to consult you.

nhs dentistry is incredibly badly paid and dentists don’t even break even on it so the dentist will not have done this for profit.

16 so in the weird grey area between adult and child but definitely able to consent to medical treatment without mummy. My DS is 16 and goes to the dentist alone now too. I wouldn’t think twice about a filling, most adults have them. Who on earth is looking at a person’s molars?

If you feel this strongly, you surely should have gone with him?

Visions of the OP staring fixedly into the gobs of every poor passer-by, yanking their jaws open, "look at that obvious amalgum filling at the back there"!

What a load of nonsense. Bet the lad never gave any of it a thought.