Woman in underwear in own home

[Alee36]

I'm raging and need to know if I'm blowing this out of proportion.We live in a first floor maisonette, house conversion. We moved in a month and a bit ago and (granted) for two weeks we were without curtains or blinds. Our living room window is at the front of the house and we have a large bay, so the main section of the living area is quite set back from the window.

I have returned from a rare evening out to my husband relaying a conversation he had with the next door neighbour, who knocked on the door. For context we have not met this neighbour yet. Apparently the neighbour said they are having their guttering done at some point next week, and that they will do ours at the same time (lovely,thanks). He then went on to say that last time his contractor was here, he 'saw your partner walking around in her underwear'. This has really bothered me, and more so because my husband said he doesn't see the big deal. My feelings are these:

1. It was a heatwave
2. I was in my own home
3. It would have been huge granny pants akin to shorts and a vest or crop top- you'd see more scantily clad people in the park or at the beach
4. I wouldn't have been parading in front of the fucking window, but rather just living my life and walking through
5. My husband frequently walked around in his pants in the heatwave, unsurprisingly this wasn't mentioned
6. Call me old fashioned, but a gentleman would avert his gaze and crack on with his job?

Overall, why on earth has a contractor passed on this information to our neighbour and why has my neighbour thought it appropriate to then tell my husband? Isn't that weird? That me in my underwear at home is being discussed in a chain of men. Like wtf? If he was trying to be helpful he could have had some tact, and said oh by the way we can see in your windows or something along those lines. I just find it bizzare and inappropriate, and actually quite sexist. Woman in underwear in own home- alert the press. In other news, bikinis allowed on beaches and forks found in kitchen.

Also they are doing the guttering at 'some point next week', so am I to hide out all next week lest I offend with my pjs or whatever I want to wear in my own fucking home?!

AIBU?

So many annoying twats in the world. Imagine being the person who said this type of nonsense to someone else.
The whole plot of one of Christie's best novels is about seeing a murder on a train through the window of another train.
I used to work in a school which was squeezed close into a housing estate on one side. The second floor of the school looked directly into the windows of people on the third floor. I was a TA so often standing up and moving around I saw all manner of stuff going on.
Many many people mostly men only wear pants at home. A lot of terrible dancing as well.
At least your gutters should be clean, I am going to have to do mine this autumn. I will spy on my neighbours for you OP.

I wish a neighbour would pay for me to have my guttering done. Sigh.

title is a bit misleading..... couldn't be bothered about this personally!

I’d make a fake newspaper poster on canva with

“Shock news: Woman wears underwear in home during heatwave”

A contractor was shocked to see a woman dressed only in underwear during a heatwave in summer 2026. News reports show she was in a bra and granny pants IN HER OWN HOME.

stick it in your windows 🤣

This. He's surely just trying to be helpful and maybe didn't think the op know she was visible.

Exactly and the dismissive attitude that the neighbour has offered to do OP's guttering as well. Smacks very much of a precious attitude all round. Agree on contractor not wanting to be accused of anything either and you can understand why.

If it was sexism and misogyny, they would've been more likely to either say nothing and quietly perv on her, or make a gross comment to her husband about how she looked in her pants, not say: "btw, the contractor could see your wife walking around in her underwear, and he'll be back sometime next week."

I'm really bewildered as to how informing a woman via her husband that she can be seen in her underwear, while in a space she might expect to be private, is misogynistic.

Is it possible your husband is making up that part of the conversation - is he embarrassed by your walking around in underwear so used the contractors as an excuse?

Not saying that's right, in fact it's worse, but it's an idea?

It is odd.

If I was doing some work on a house and saw a bloke in his undies, I’d not think any thing of it and it would be forgotten.

If I saw a woman in her undies. Same.

I am a woman.

If I saw someone naked I might mention it as a funny story to a friend. But not to the home owner.

The fact that a male contractor, told a male home owner, who then told the woman’s husband that the male contractor had seen his wife in her underwear is odd. They wouldn’t have said anything if it was a man. For sure.

Next time I would walk around naked.

Yes, this is how I would have interpreted it, as a heads up.

I'm raging and need to know if I'm blowing this out of proportion

Sorry, but I think you are. Now you know not to walk around in underwear if anyone is working near the window, or you draw the curtains.

I can see why you are annoyed. It’s the implication that you should be embarrassed, that your husband should be embarrassed (because he owns you?)

People pointing out stuff like this are not “being kind”. They are trying to police your behaviour by making you self conscious

I voted YABU. Not because I'm a "Peeping Tom supporter" but because I'd want to know if I could be seen in my underwear. OP is unreasonable not to consider that this is the motive of everyone involved in the chain.

No it's the implication she might have been unaware that she was visible. He was being helpful.

It's amazing how posters are reading different things into the OP's situation. Like most posters I thought it sounded like a heads up that if she want to walk around in her undies while someone is fixing the guttering she needs to be aware that she can be seen.

But lots of people would be embarrassed by being seen in their underwear by a contractor. I daresay most women would be unhappy to be accidentally seen like this.

People pointing out stuff like this are usually trying to help others.

Isn’t it more that they were giving OP a heads up in case she didn’t realise how visible she was?

There’s nothing in her posts that indicate she should be embarrassed.

Maybe the information was passed on as a bit of a heads up in case the OP didnt realise she could be seen in her underwear?

After all, and as someone has said, you wouldn't expect to be seen through a window on the first floor so it would feel pretty private.

I'd have seen it as a bit of an FYI rather than a complaint or criticism or a 'keep yer missus under control" statement.

Honestly, I'm more than happy to call out dick male behaviour but unless it came with a, "She's not hot so tell her not to do it again," or a, "He said her husband's a lucky bastard," type comment, I really can't see the problem.

'I'd have seen it as a bit of an FYI rather than a complaint or criticism or a 'keep yer missus under control" statement'

Exactly. So many posters take offence at the most innocuous of comments, how difficult their lives must be.

@HeddaGarbledYou need to improve your reading comprehension skills as OP quite literally said in her post that she WASN’T ‘parading around in her front of her windows in her underwear’ yet that’s exactly what you’ve just accused her of….! 🫣

Overall, why on earth has a contractor passed on this information to our neighbour

We've recently renovated and our roofer told us that the neighbour 3 doors down was mowing his lawn in the nude. The roofer didn't NEED to tell us this info, but did!

Maybe the neighbour telling your husband was a subtle hint that you shouldn't have waited 2 weeks to buy curtains or maybe to keep your current curtains shut if walking around in underwear? 🤷‍♀️

It’s the implication that you should be embarrassed, that your husband should be embarrassed

No, you have inferred that.

He passed on a fact. I think a lot of people would prefer not to be unwittingly seen in their underwear.