Woman in underwear in own home

[Alee36]

I'm raging and need to know if I'm blowing this out of proportion.We live in a first floor maisonette, house conversion. We moved in a month and a bit ago and (granted) for two weeks we were without curtains or blinds. Our living room window is at the front of the house and we have a large bay, so the main section of the living area is quite set back from the window.

I have returned from a rare evening out to my husband relaying a conversation he had with the next door neighbour, who knocked on the door. For context we have not met this neighbour yet. Apparently the neighbour said they are having their guttering done at some point next week, and that they will do ours at the same time (lovely,thanks). He then went on to say that last time his contractor was here, he 'saw your partner walking around in her underwear'. This has really bothered me, and more so because my husband said he doesn't see the big deal. My feelings are these:

1. It was a heatwave
2. I was in my own home
3. It would have been huge granny pants akin to shorts and a vest or crop top- you'd see more scantily clad people in the park or at the beach
4. I wouldn't have been parading in front of the fucking window, but rather just living my life and walking through
5. My husband frequently walked around in his pants in the heatwave, unsurprisingly this wasn't mentioned
6. Call me old fashioned, but a gentleman would avert his gaze and crack on with his job?

Overall, why on earth has a contractor passed on this information to our neighbour and why has my neighbour thought it appropriate to then tell my husband? Isn't that weird? That me in my underwear at home is being discussed in a chain of men. Like wtf? If he was trying to be helpful he could have had some tact, and said oh by the way we can see in your windows or something along those lines. I just find it bizzare and inappropriate, and actually quite sexist. Woman in underwear in own home- alert the press. In other news, bikinis allowed on beaches and forks found in kitchen.

Also they are doing the guttering at 'some point next week', so am I to hide out all next week lest I offend with my pjs or whatever I want to wear in my own fucking home?!

AIBU?

I think he was passing the info on because he’ll be doing the guttering and doesn’t want to see you in your pants.

I spend every morning in my bra and pants, which now unfortunately my DD issues a health warning about when her friends drop by as I have made an accidental
appearance before.

I wouldn’t take any notice OP

I read this as, BTW you do know he can see in, don’t you? If you care take action.

I now have an emergency dressing gown 😄

I had the voice of George Formby narrate that 🤣

I'm with you, OP - the 'chain of men' thing is the key here - it's misogyny pure and simple - reporting it to your husband as they probably think he needs to keep you under better control or maybe give you a slap for being such a cock tease. Many men are arseholes.

Is this satire?

Maybe it's just because the roofer is male, the neighbour is male, and he bumped into her husband before he saw her? Or maybe he felt awkward telling her face to face? I imagine he's only relaying it as a warning, so that if OP might feel violated by being unexpectedly glimpsed in her pants at home (I know I would) she can take steps to avoid it happening?

Oh the Mumsnet double standards. Wasn’t that long ago a poster was talking about her DH walking around in his pants and everyone was saying how vile he was and what a pervert he was and how gross he was.

Maybe it was just a heads up in case you might be bothered by someone seeing you like that.

What a lot of fuss over nothing. You're unreasonable to be 'raging' and yes, I think you're overreacting.

The contractor was wrong to gossip to the neighbour that he'd seen you in your undies.

The neighbour was likely purveying a warning, in an awkward way, that the contractor will be back and you may not want him seeing you partially undressed. He could have worded it better but probably only concerned for you.

There is no need to hide. If you still haven't had time to sort out window coverings then just send off for a roll of opaque or reflective window cling from Amazon and have it in place for the duration of the guttering install. You literally wet the window and press it on. Peels right off again.

The thing that puzzles me the most is, if your flat is first floor, and the contractor was working on a house to the side of yours, how he saw in your first floor window? I can't visualise how he saw you if you weren't near the window.

YABU. Presumably, the contractor was embarrassed and assumed that you would be embarrassed too. They are letting you that he'll be there again so you can close the curtains.

If you choose to walk about in your underwear in full view of the contractor after they've said this then you will look like the perv, not them.

Cringing at the chain of men thing.

Don't forget it was a rare night out.

Why are you so enraged about it. If you really don’t care about people seeing you in your underwear then so what?you were seen, it was said, in case you hadn’t realised, you don’t care who sees you in your underwear as, it won’t jist be the neighbour, and they didn’t say if they also saw your husband in his pants.

its not a big deal. Sure if it bothered you you were seen, yes embarassing, but you’re fine being seen in your granny pants so crack on.

Yabu and massively over reacting. It was mentioned just in case you didn’t know you could be visible to neighbours and would rather not be. You’re making all kinds of sexist assumptions.

The neighbour shouldn't have bothered. He's just got a taste of why some men can't do right for doing wrong.

Yes! Lots of rants about his sweaty body soiling the sofa!

The fact that the guttering is being done absolutely changes the context here from something judgemental/pervy to a more likely explanation of "these guys will be working at your window level, just to make you aware as the last workmen where this happened commented and in case it bothers your wife."

Contractor shouldn’t have said anything.
Neighbour should have kept it to informing your husband about the gutters. You can draw your own conclusions from there.
I wonder if he’d have said anything if you’d answered the door? Because it smacks of “control your woman” to me.

During the hot weather i'd hoover in my underwear. Complete with windows and blinds open. Who cares?? Apart from your neighbour of course. I agree with thong borat style swim suit.... 😅

I’d hardly call it a tantrum 😅 it’s a discussion forum and OP is discussing her opinion of what happened. Why do you think that’s a “tantrum”?

This is how I would have taken the comment.

Control your woman 😆 🤣 fucking hell.

Ffs, when you knock on a door of neighbours you’ve never met you can’t know exactly who is going to answer. There is no way the neighbour could have known OP or her DH would answer the door. It’s not reporting to her husband