Dh angry I don't sweep up the leaves every day

[Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff]

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?

Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's maple leaves.

Anyway, mine is also a grumbler who stomps around in a rage over trivial things.
It's unbeLEAFable the things he gets the ache about.
Tell your grumbler that if all he's got to worry about in life is leaves, then he's either very lucky, or very pathetic (maybe both!)
Mine moans about doors being left open, windows getting dirty from rain, having to wait for the kettle to boil and a multitude of other minor issues. I just walk away and let him moan to himself. I have bigger fish to fry.
If he wants the leaves doing, then leaf him to it.

Have a day when you do do nothing. Just to illustrate what you do in a day- no dinner ready, no bed made no laundry etc.

Take a look at this video, 'should i sweep up leaves' https://share.google/orX0baX23VVQzaAJt

He should not be doing this

If hes bothered, he should sweep it.

Noooo! Compost them please!

Fallen leaves aren't messy. It's just nature.

Fallen leaves are important as habitat for bugs and critters, it’s not eco friendly to sweep them all up, and, also, at this time of year, completely pointless. Like shovelling snow in a blizzard or walking up a down escalator. Leaves are going to fall, it’s part of the natural landscape.

Your DH needs to get a grip.

Dear DH - is this really about leaves or are you angry and resentful about something else?
if it is really about leaves - I am drowning with everything else that I am doing - what task would you like to take over so that I can deal with the leaves?

If you had, swept my leaves up I would be making you a lovely evening meal. Pouring you a glass of wine. Holding your hand gently and saying thank you darling.

The only purposeful reason for sweeping the leaves would be if you were adding them to a compost bin or using them for some other gardening tasks or if you were in a situation where they were a fire hazard because of very dry ground. Sweeping them to put the in the bin is a waste of effort when they biodegrade.

I’d buy him a leaf blower for Christmas 😂

"He is very untidy with other things and i'm the one forever picking up clothes and things left by him and Dc, i'll be f*** if i'm doing the garden too"

Tell him that & then hand him a brush , shovel and a roll of bin bags

I do the leaf clearing in our garden, my DH doesn't care about them , but I do. I don't like them treading into the house every day and I like to be able to see where my dog has pooped so we don't tread in that either & bring it in on our shoes. I used to brush up every day because we get so many from our own trees and the neighbourhood trees on the common ground. One of those is a massive sycamore and it's seemingly endless pesky seeds are a real pain. This year I treated myself to a cheap leaf vac, it blows or vacs and it collects & shreds it all into bag which I empty onto the compo heap. It is giving me much joy. I don't use it every day yet, but I suspect I will soon enough. It's so much easier than sweeping though.

I always wait until there is a wheelie bin full. Doing every day is just a waste of time.

Thank you! That wood be interesting as a distant prospect!

I think a lot of posters have missed the bit where the OP said that their grass is artificial. If the leaves are left on that type of lawn they'll just rot into the grass and could go mouldy in wet weather. It's much easier to pick them up before they start to break down and get mushed into the artificial grass strands.

The collected leaves shouldn't be thrown in the bin though!

OP, have you spoken to your DH about his grumbling?

He's inventing a chore! They should be left to break down and nourish the soil the tree is growing in. What a pillock. I suppose sweeping the main path up to the front door is beneficial to avoid slipping accidents. But sweeping a small path isn't exactly a big deal. Trees and leaves predate humans, let them be.

Tell him leaves left to rot down make leaf mould which is excellent for the garden. Also tell him to chill and stop stropping about something as insignificant as leaves lying on the garden - there are far more things to be worrying about in this world of ours - leaves are the least of our worries. He really needs to calm down and stop worrying about something that nature deals with pretty well.

He sounds like a fucking nut job, love

No. You work many more hours than that.

If you didn’t do everything you do he would have to outsource it. So how much would a nanny, cook, cleaner, house keeper cost?

So he works and does a bit of gardening.

Read ‘Fair Play’ by Eve Rodesky. You should both have the same amount of self care and leisure time.

Stop with the internalised misogyny. Your labour allows him to raise children, live in a clean, tidy house, wear clean clothes, eat good food and enjoy his leisure time. Don’t allow him to diminish the value you bring. Just because you are not paid for your labour doesn’t make it less valuable. Imagine if everyone that provided those services for free (caring, cleaning, cooking, shopping, planning, etc) just suddenly stopped. Things would fall apart. Don’t devalue yourself and don’t let him either.

The best comment I have EVER read on MN 😂😂😂

As other posters have said, it sounds like he is resentful about something else. Is he working particularly long hours in a stressful job while you have all day at home with the children at school? That could be causing some resentment, especially if there are money concerns while you are working very part time. Maybe he’s a bad communicator and isn’t managing to express his feelings about something else…

I audibly cackled 😂

I mean - I think your DH is being a dick and should do more but buy him one of these for Christmas and let him crack on

it’s a leaf hoover ! Shreds the leaves too - not sure what country you are in so here is the German one

www.stihl.co.uk/en/p/leaf-blowers-blowers-vacuum-shredders-sha-56-cordless-vacuum-shredder-ak-system-137684#sha-56-cordless-vacuum-shredder-tool-only-137684

Suggest he buys a leaf blower then he can just blow them off lawn into a pile then scoop them up or a garden hoover and suck them all up. Either that or do away with the tree, problem solved.

Leaf clearing is not a normal daily task for most households, any obsessions individuals have for a particular task belong firmly with that person - completely unreasonable to expect you to carry out the labour relating to his obsession.