Dh angry I don't sweep up the leaves every day

[Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff]

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?

It does look a lot nicer, but is not worth getting angry about

Are you his maid? I'd stop picking up after the lazy fucker.

I can't stand mess around indoors

Tell him to Foxtrot Oscar and do them himself

nooooo they are so good for the garden

My dh was like this about curtains. There were curtains in one room when we bought the house, that when pulled back had those little fabric swags that could be swagged round them and then hooked back. I rarely bothered, I just pulled the curtains back most days and didn't swag them.

Goodness, he was raging. Mostly just passive aggressive, but then he brought it up IN COUPLE'S COUNSELLING that I didn't swag the curtains and 'left it for him to do'.

I became quite vehement in my explanation that I was not leaving it for him to do, it did not need doing, I could go to my GRAVE with the curtains unswagged forevermore, the house could crumble around me and the whole of human civilization decay before I would be bothered if the curtains had their swags on or off.

Anyway, we don't have those curtains anymore.

Can you, in a calm moment, say ‘I noticed you were quite annoyed about the leaves earlier’ then leave him space to respond but ultimately you then make the point that ‘The thing is, I don’t see it as an essential task - so if I don’t do it in the day, it doesn’t mean that you have to do it - it’s just you’re choosing to do it’. Then ideally give him an example of something he wouldn’t care less about that you do - so if you usually like to polish the silver every day (!) but chose not to do it one day, you wouldn’t expect him to do that so why does he expect you to clean the leaves when you don’t think it’s essential?

Usually I take up leaves on the lawn but last year I didn't get round to it. And guess what... They w just went away by themselves 😁. Blown into the hedge or pulled into the soil by worms. So think I won't bother any more!

😂

Leaf him to do it!!!!

What a dreadful man. I hope he is perfect in every other way.

SO you should storm around the house muttering under your breath about how someone is too fixated on leaves in the garden to keep the house tidy and put his crap away. OR tell him you'll treat his mess the way he treats leaves and put them in a bin bag in the bin...

Sweep them up and put them under the duvet on his side of the bed.

Do you both have the same amount of downtime? Or do you get a break in your day when he’s working out the house and that’s why he’s made if he feels he then has to do extra chores in the evening ?

leaves are only good for grass in small amounts. I know op has fake grass but for the others, take care you don’t suffocate your lawns!

Superb 👏🏻

He finishes work at 4.30, can get home for 15 minutes later, doesn't have to do anything else, I make the dinner, nothing else is
needed to be done

First post nails it. My dh loves sweeping up the leaves for some reason, I just left him get on with it. If he asked me to do it I’d laugh.

Ask him what he thinks you should drop from your day in order to make time for his leaf removal obsession.

Why can’t you just tell him that the garden is his department? I work pt too and DH would happily let me do everything if I didn’t allocate him jobs!

Of course he doesn’t do it to my standard but I let that slide. Just keep repeating “the garden is your job”. Broken record act works.

Thank you! Was quite pleased, I admit. Can bough out.

Maybe suggest you swap out another task for the leaf management e.g. pick up the leaves but don’t prepare any evening meal?

Do you really think it’s about the leaves? Could he be displacing feelings, about something he’s not talking about, onto the leaves?

He needs to turn over a new leaf!

Chef's kiss.

😂

He didn't read a book called John Diamond as a child did he? I distinctly remember a weird bit in that about leaves......