Dh angry I don't sweep up the leaves every day

[Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff]

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?

He is very untidy with other things and i'm the one forever picking up clothes and things left by him and Dc, i'll be f* if i'm doing the garden too

"You dislike having an untidy lawn. I dislike having an untidy house. When you start putting your crap away instead of leaving it for me to do, I'll start sweeping leaves. I don't think I'll be needing the brush any time soon."

I never ever have understood the need to need to sweep leaves nor the need to have the lawn in neat lines

We have a robot now - it zig zags all other the show, but it cuts the lawn

I live in the country, my house and garden is surround by trees and they have started to drop. And they can stay dropped. AFAIC . There's a wee bit where they all congregate which we may or may not lift depending on the weather and how full the compost bin is

Leaves and grass - organic matter - they rot in

Dog poo picking is enough outside work, and I have to hose the patio cos the hens poo on it - more then enough

You’re barking mad you, aren’t you?

Brilliant

Leaf sweeping sounds like a weekly thing - if at all really. I’d ignore him!!

I've never ever once swept our leaves up.

Either the lawnmower gets them when the grass gets mowed, or they degrade and refeed the ground, or they provide a habitat for minibeasts to overwinter or lay their eggs so it's good for the ecosystem of the garden.

The thought of a grown man absolutely losing his mind over leaves is almost hilarious if it wasn't for the fact he thinks it's a necessary task that you should be doing. It hardly impacts your lives like not having clean dishes and bog roll would.

Do the leaves and go to work but nothing else for a few days. Give him some leaves for his dinner with dog poo garnish.

The leaf/leave joke has already been done and with great success.

So tomorrow, when he gets home, you say dinner is x, I’ve shopped for everything, can you cook it please and watch ds while I sweep the leaves?
the night after, you say would you prefer to cook dinner or sweep leaves?
tne lazy fucker gets home at 4:30, does fuck all, and complains you haven’t swept the leaves. He eats dinner. Single men work harder than him and don’t come home to a clean house and a cooked meal. Having a family should never be easier and less work than being single, but somehow many men expect it to be.
dh and I both work full time, he leaves at 6am and I get home 6-7pm, we have 3 dc who play sport every night and all weekend and we work our butts off to keep our family life going. If he were even a fraction as lazy as your dh he’d be single and discovering the joy of coming home to pick up his 3dc and cook dinner and no other adult doing anything for him ever, he can catch up with the housework on my dc time.

It's a good solution in principle, but you probably don't need one that large, and I prefer more traditional materials for bodybags.

A man who slams around angrily, muttering under his breath needs the rake shoved up his asshole.

As an aside, putting the leaves in a bin bag and throwing them away is a huge environmental no no. Leaves are really good for flower beds, and they are often the home of many insect eggs, including many moths, etc, which if left alone will hatch innthe apring. Getting rid of leaves from urban or suburban canopy is turning into something of an ecological disaster across the deciduous zone around the world.

I can't believe he puts the leaves in a plastic bag and then into the household waste bin. Don't you have garden waste collections where you live? If not, then he should be composting the leaves to turn it into lovely mulch for the garden - although not for your horrible plastic lawn obviously. He is one lazy fucker.

He doesn’t have a wife he has a maid. 🙄 “Leaf the bastard” indeed. If he’s not contributing to running the household you might as well be a single parent.

Oh just ignore the fucker. I completely switch off when my DH is like this.

This is literally so ridiculous it made me laugh.

Has your dh always been obsessive, a perfectionist to an absurd degree, and completely unreasonable.

Does he get that it's September and there's another six weeks of leaves falling before they are all down.

That they do no harm and he could just leave them, or spend a quick hour on a Saturday afternoon with a leaf blower.

He needs therapy.

🤣🤣🤣

Artificial grass and binning leaves are both not the best for the environment.

Buy DH a vaccum and compost tub.
Ask a landscape gardener to remove the grass and plant the area with a tolerant ground cover that you can walk on.
Ask gardener to instruct DH on how to water plants and establish and how to maintain.
Sprinkle compost on plant.

Tell DH that you prefer to see the leaves on the ground but he is at liberty to remove them each day.

First post nails it 🤣🤣🤣

It looks to me you're focusing on the wrong thing. Another example of a useless man who doesn't participate in the running if his own household. And another woman who puts up with it.

First answer nails it! 😂

This would concern me about his attitude towards you in general. How does he see money if you're only working a few hours, are finances shared or does he use that to control you? If you only work a few hours and you split, do you have a pension plan that you've been paying into?

It's fine to work part time if all of that is sorted and money is family money. If it's not, I'd go back to work full time and he can pay someone to do the leaves.

My response would be along the lines of "if you are that desperate for it to be done then you can just do it because I'm not bothered," and then just ignore his huffing and puffing performance.

My sibling and I were made to go around our parents' very large garden collecting grass cuttings each time the lawn had been mowed because they had bought a lawnmower without a grass box. It was an awful job and I swore that I wouldn't make my own children do anything like it. Collecting leaves would fall into the same category for me.

I love the leaves on the garden. He needs to relax. Jeez.

https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/emily-gravett/tidy/9781447273998

Sorry to post a link to a kids book but it's genius. Badger Pete starts by bagging up all the leaves and ends by concreting the forest and his own sett over to be tidy. But he does learn from his mistakes in the end. I couldn't help think of it right away.

I understand that OP. I have a lower mess tolerance than my DH and our DS(12). Over the years I've pointed out to them (well, DH. DS is still being trained) how it makes me feel and he's pretty good now. I work PT too but tidying up after oneself is basic adulting as far as I'm concerned.