Dh angry I don't sweep up the leaves every day

[Whyhavethestreetlightsgoneoff]

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?

We leave our garden messy in the autumn for the bugs and birds and things

Get him a leaf blower thing for his birthday

Nature can be very annoying. Tell him to chop them down and concrete over the whole garden that's cluttered up with plants and grass.

Leaves from a big tree do need to be swept up though? They will blow into the yard and block gulleys and just turn into a slippery mess in wet weather. And they destroy grass if there are layers and layers of them. I have this issue myself - not even my flaming tree! 😡- but I do try to get most of them raked up every year.

Id go back to work full time and tell him he is now responsible for doing half of everything in the house.

Do you have AstroTurf or something? It's madness to be so anal about leaves... soon there'll be a deluge and it makes more sense to leave them a few days then do it. Sounds like his problem not yours, it's his standard to keep up himself.

I wouldn’t like the crashing about in temper because he didn’t get what he wanted. Be wary of caving to that behaviour.

You could have used reverse psychology here by telling him that you like the autumnal vibe of scattered leaves and would therefore request that he does not sweep them up as, for you, it detracts from the beauty of the season.

You could then just "seethe quietly" when he does sweep them up.

Single men work harder than him and don’t come home to a clean house and a cooked meal. Having a family should never be easier and less work than being single, but somehow many men expect it to be.

I agree, being married should not mean doing less housework than when you were single.
But there are many, many men who never do any housework, single or not. It is almost a point of principle that they will not stoop to doing women's work.

They either go from woman to woman, and get a new one in asap after a breakup, or they just find workarounds.
e.g. Get ready meals and take aways instead of cooking, or go out to eat. Eat out of the takeaway wrappers to avoid having to wash a plate. Get a cleaner or just 'don't see the dirt'. Buy new shirts instead of ironing the old ones, or never wear shirts that need ironing. Leave the bedsheets unchanged for weeks. Never tidy anything away.

Tip: when dating a new guy, check out the state of his house within the first few weeks, and discreetly enquire as to whether he has a cleaner.

Tell him you're the only one who does the cooking, cleaning, washing , school runs, vet appointments, doctors appointments, dentists appointments, hairdresser appointments, dog walking, etc, etc, etc.

You could branch out to comedic writing!

I couldn't get worked up about this. There's nothing wrong with a few leaves, and I think it looks nice! Gold/red leaves, start of autumn, getting cooler. It's so pretty.

As a pp said, more will only fall.

@RocksByThePool fantastic joke at the start of this thread!

WHAT ?! A waste of good compost...jeez !

I cant stand men who think having children means they can just work a 9-5 and do fuck all else, less than a single, childless man. He has no respect for you.

As your grass is fake I do think the leaves need picking up unfortunately. They’ll turn into a slimy mess on it otherwise.

Doesn’t have to be you doing it though!
Have a chat with him about the division of household jobs.

What makes you say that?

How are other things going? Have you spoken to him in general about his mood? There is a good chance this is nothing to do with the leaves and it is something else entirely

He should buy a leaf blower and do it himself if he's so bothered. You do everything else so that would be fair enough.

Like the men who say they "don't see mess ", you can claim that you "don't see leaves".

Do you not have a garden waste collection? They ought to be going in that, not landfill. Though we tend to just leaf-blow them into the flower beds where they mulch down.

Time to make like a tree and leave

If he's so anal about leaves tell him to buy a stihl garden vac ,they can be sucked up quickly and he can do it! What an arsehole

How many hours a week do you work?

I've never swept leaves in my life, I certainly wouldn't be doing it everyday! He can do it himself after work if he's that bothered, it's not up to him to command you to do a job that doesn't actually need doing.

He is very untidy with other things and i'm the one forever picking up clothes and things left by him and Dc
So stop doing it. I know you say you can't stand mess, but you do sound like you have enough to do.

What did he say when you told him you didn't intend to do it on top of doing everything else in the house and with DC?

For a couple of days just to make a point I’d sweep the leaves, and I’d leave anything if his doing where he left it, maybe even the DC stuff too and when he asks why the house is a state tell him you swapped priorities as per his request and have been sweeping the garden and he can pick up his own shit.

You need to leave him to deal with the kids and a lift of chores and shopping to be done. Maybe he’ll then appreciate you.
Being full time doesn’t mean he doesn’t have anything to do. I assume you still function at the weekends.

His obsessive behaviour obvs.