To not let DS12 go to a waterpark with friends

[PumpkinPost]

DS has an opportunity to go to a water park with a group without me. He is non-sporty and not a particularly strong swimmer (in stage 4 swimming lessons). He loves water parks but has only been with me/DH.

I’ve never been particularly water confident and get a bit anxious about DC in pools - I always watch them like a hawk.I can even feel a bit nervy when they are at their swimming lessons.

I really don’t feel that comfortable letting him go to a waterpark on his own, but I don’t know if that is a reasonable judgement as his swimming is fairly weak, or whether I am projecting my own anxiety!

AIBU to think he shouldn’t go?

I don't want to say this to be unkind to you, but your fears are holding your child back. Statistically your child is safer at a waterpark than in a car with you. The risks at waterparks in the UK are nearly negligible

What are you talking about - I said this year I am not sure, That’s the point of the thread, I am not sure.

I mean if I decided against it, I wouldn’t say “you can’t go because you can’t swim and I am too worried” - I’d say we are busy that weekend or we can’t afford it or something.

And I’m not sure what is contradictory about saying this waterpark is relatively lame?

I’ve worked at one of those places where a ring gets stuck in a flume. It happens ALL THE TIME. To you, it’s a huge deal. To staff it happens multiple times daily due to the jets not having enough power

it seems traumatic to you but Honeslty it’s nothing

let your son go. But also push lessons because a stage 4 at 12 years old is low and maybe get some 1;1s, to help your anxiety too.
there are lifeguards

i would also assume the competitive swimmer who drowned did not drown standing up in a river rapids. If so, it is a medical emergency which would have happened anywhere.

Please don’t let your anxiety get in the way for your son.

im a swim teacher, lifeguard, mum to a nearly 5 year old in stage 4.

Oh come on, I’m not doing him a major disservice if I don’t let him go on one trip to a waterpark, it won’t exactly be holding him back in life.

Whatever you think. Except this thread is about validation.

Firstly - the 12 year old actually doesn’t sound like a stage 4 kid to me- the requirements are a bit of skulling and swimming10 metres.

Secondly, the water park will likely be significantly safer than open water canoeing so it feels like your risk profile is off a bit. The scout leaders will be watching for silly behaviour and they’ll likely spend a lot of time in a queue for slides.

Not sure stamina is required for a water park op! Id let him go with scouts.

DH who is a professional kayak instructor would disagree. His level of training is higher than the requirements for scouts and the qualification is internationally respected as one of the best in the world. As would his professional overseeing body Paddle UK. Paddle UK is much stricter than other national bodies - if you go on holiday and do paddle sports you should be aware of this because plenty of guides would not meet British standards.

According to official guidance from Paddle UK (formerly the British Canoe Union / British Canoeing) outlined in their Paddlesafer document, the ability to swim a specific distance is desirable but not essential for clients participating in introductory, coached, or supervised paddlesport sessions. Instead of requiring a specific distance, the standard focuses heavily on water confidence and safety management

DH says his criteria is essentially the ability to be able to swim far enough in the appropriate equipment (a buoyancy aid). So as long as a child is water confident they don't necessarily need to be able to swim 50m unaided. Because they aren't going to be on the water without a buoyancy aid. You then have appropriate bank side management and rules whilst being safety briefed and given equipment.

He'd rather take a child who is unable to swim but is confident in water and won't panic out than a child who can swim 50m but isn't confident in water . It's about which one is most likely to panic. He's rather take out a kid who will listen to and take instruction than a kid who dicks about and doesn't respect the group leader.

He would consider the weather and the type of water - so a canal, lake, sea, river are all very different in terms of risk. It's just about doing things at an appropriate level for the ability of the group. You wouldn't take a poor swimmer out somewhere where the bank is far away - so a canal is flat water with only a short distance to the bank. And you don't take them out in poor weather and without knowing the route / checking the route.

So it's a lot more complex than just the distance they can swim.

Incorrect.

It’s really not, I am open to all opinions. I feel a bit more minded to let him go than I was before I started this thread.

But equally, worst case if he doesn’t go this year is that he’ll likely get to go next year, it’s not a huge deal.

No way. Remember the girl who drowned at the Windsor acqupark last year? Go along and supevise.

No way id allow my ds 12 unsupervised by me near water.... you have right to be worried.

Why lie?

Yes this sounds similar to the guidance we had when DS did a paddlesports day.

Good grief did you really just quote the Canoe Union at me 😆

I don’t care what your DH says, sorry. And I didn’t mention distance.

He'd rather take a child who is unable to swim but is confident in water and won't panic out than a child who can swim 50m but isn't confident in water

You can’t be truly confident in the water if you can’t swim, if you are it’s a false confidence as, if you got into difficulty you won’t know how to get out of it.

It’s not either or: you need to be able to swim and be confident in the water.

It would be deeply concerning if a member of a Scout group left an indoor water park to be swimming in a neighbouring lake. It's a totally different type of venue to that incident, with different levels of risk.

Indoor waterparks generally don't have vast areas of deep water that would cause difficulties to a 12 year old who can swim a basic amount. There might be some features best avoided depending on the design, and that needs discussing with the event leaders, but the majority of features in indoor water park venues are suitable for older children with basic swimming ability.

Won’t there be parents watching these children? Is anything stopping you from chaperoning them yourself?

A white lie seems better than the inevitable protracted argument where he tries to convince me that he can swim well enough and the take-home message being his mum doesn’t have confidence in his ability.

And the decision will be multi-factor anyway - it’s part of a multi-day trip which I’d quite expensive, so it would be at least half-true to say we can’t afford it.

Anyway, I’ve not decided yet whether to let him go so it might be moot.

Level 4 isn’t that just before the can join swim club?! Here it is. Both mine got to level 3 just had one thing each to complete before moving up and are both confident swimmers. I have no issues in them going off while on holiday to use the slides and pools (we don’t have a waterpark local to us) they are 12 and 8. Here they are allowed in the pools unsupervised from 8. Obviously there is life guards on duty.

The overthinking on this thread has now reached epic heights.
Let son go on the trip- he’ll have a great time!

OP's child is not going to that type of water park. Uk swimming pools and waterparks are very safe - you are more likely to have a car crash getting to the waterpark

No lifeguards? I doubt it, if something happened, they would be leaving themselves open to litigation.

Not with no adults. Can you tag along and be there (at a distance lol)

I thought tou were talking about a 5 year old that that couldn't swim yet, but you've said that he's 12 and can swim multiple lengths? So he can clearly swim and unsure of the lroblem here. Most waterparks are slides that end into shallow water anyways.

Maybe he would he further than a level 4 if you weren't pushing your insecurities about the water onto him. If he has decent friends that will look out for each other and you've checked out the waterpark online to see what it's like then I don't see a problem with letting him go

He’ll be there with Scouts.