To find the use of the word ‘fiancé’ irritating?

[Sparklesbigtoe]

Do people still use the word fiancé to describe the person they’re engaged to on a regular basis (eg. every time they mention them to someone who doesn’t know their name they’ll say fiancé rather than partner or bf/gf)? Or is this becoming kind of outdated? There’s a woman at work who keeps saying ‘my fiancé and I this, my fiancé and I that, yesterday I said to my fiancé blah, blah’. It’s really starting to grate on me because she could easily say his name then start referring to him by it, just like everyone else does. It also struck me that other people I know who’ve been engaged recently carried on saying ‘partner’, or they might say fiancé once or twice but generally they use partner. I’m sure I’m BU to find it annoying but it feels like they’re trying to boast that someone’s asked them to marry them everytime I hear it!

I have to say that using it to describe someone you’ve been seeing for a few weeks is a purely Mn thing for me. I’ve never encountered it in RL.

I find the whole premise about getting engaged ridiculous so someone going on about their fiancé would strike me as silly.
Just get married.

I hear you OP. I find it very outdated and cringey

Whatever really, but it's so outdated to be engaged imo. Completely pointless. Just get married, or don't.

If someone married refers to her husband is that also “getting the klaxon out” on relationship status? No, it’s just stating fact. What a strange take on it.

Im engaged but I refer to him as my partner and have never used fiancé. Its personal preference and I dont care how anyone else refers to their significant other. Is she newly engaged? Maybe shes iver the moon to have found her person and it brings her joy to refer to him in that way.

I think the fact this annoys you so much says more about you than about her. He is her fiancé so what is wrong with her referring to him as such?

What really annoys me is when someone who is talking to me keeps mentioning various names and I have absolutely no idea who they are in their lives and yet I'm expected to somehow know and be able to follow their story. At least with this colleague of yours she is being very clear about who she is talking about and the relevance of him in her life.

Getting engaged IS a big thing in people's lives. Why be so unpleasant about someone actually enjoying having a fiancé to talk about?

You’re generally a fiancé/fiancée for such a relatively short time compared to the years you’re single or married. It’s a nice thing, let her enjoy it!

It’s usually used by people who are “engaged” but with no plans to actually marry IME. The people who are actually going to get married soon seem to feel less need to assert their “status”.

Well calling someone a boyfriend makes you sound about 15 tbh.

He is her fiancé. She is doing nothing wrong by referring to him as such.

That’s exactly it.

It’s the people who tell long involved tales with a cast of thousands and no context whatsoever that are the irritating ones.

It’s a bit dated for sure and not a term my husband or I ever used. I don’t remember anyone ever introducing us as that, we just used “partner”, I guess.

It's a better word than "husband" which just puts me in mind of either old men with slippers, or suburban centrist dads.

I enjoyed using "fiancé" for the few months it was appropriate, I do not enjoy saying "husband" at all and actually revert to "partner" quite a lot.

I would marry you for your name alone @daisyydaisyy . I will pop round on the tandem to hear your answer...

I have been engaged 3 times, broke off two of them. DH and I joke about the word fiancée between us because he was the one that made it out of fiancée status and we roll out the word to elongate it but just between us.

Of course it’s fine to use it because that’s what they are on a promise to marry.

Yeah, I'm going with the OP being jealous too, and it's a sore point.

Ah, interesting. Maybe this is why I didn’t use it. We made our plans immediately.

‘Fiancé(e)’, pah! French fancy of a word.

We should use ‘betrothed’. Just like ‘dating’ should be ‘courting’.

Anyway, back to my reports of Mr Bonar Law’s intended tariff reforms.

Husband is a legal status so although, again, I couldn’t care, it at least means something beyond, no no, not my boyfriend/partner, he’s my fiance! It’s a definite glaze - as my DC would say.

Yes people still say it as it's the correct term. However, when having regular discussions with friends or colleagues who know the name of your fiancé, it's weird to keep saying it. Next time she's doing it I'd say "Why don't you refer to him by his name?"

I get why it's irritating OP. It's like women who insist on keep saying "my husband", when everyone knows his name. It's almost like an ownership thing.

Would it be depressing if the woman was saying fiancée?

That’s the point. No no, he’s moooore than a mere boyfriend, he’s elevated me to Fiancé, please note that <swoon>

I just can’t help it, it makes me chuckle. I was asked, then married in 6 weeks, so perhaps that phase was lost on me.

Think you’ve got your phrases wrong there (I also have teenagers), glaze means sucking up.
I think you mean flex although I disagree that someone’s trying to show off just because they’re using the correct term for their significant other.

Your reply has got me half crazy 😭🥰♥️