Would you be upset if a new hire at work said this to the director? The director is my DH.

[BleefinbackBlean]

‘I’ve never worked with someone I have a crush on before’

🙄

if was said when accepting the job role via Teams.

But whatever was said in advance-it’s still very inappropriate. If he’d mentioned a new bonus structure and she’d responded in the same way would that be acceptable?

Were you also involved in the recruitment process?

The cake context changes everything! I’m chocolate biscuit lady at my work and I’ve lost count of the number of colleagues who claimed to be in love with me when offered a penguin.

Me too…unfortunately too many will vote based on the first comment and not what actually happened.

I just want a man (or anyone really) to give me cake on a Friday

🙄

@BleefinbackBlean
That's creepy, possibly could become stalkerish and weird
I'm just going to say this the once
He's to be aware of that one
As he minds his step........

You needed to mention the cake bit upfront that changes it…she was making a joke.

Drip feeding is just irritating you only told half the story with no context.

You can pretend otherwise but you know it was a joke response in regards to the cake discussion and that is why you deliberately didn't put the whole context in the first post.

Her response was completely fine and light-hearted in response to the light-hearted discussion about cake each Friday. To try and make this into something it wasn't is just silly.

Cake makes no difference. If he had said Friday is cake day and she said I think I love you, relatively fine.

If he said Friday is cake day and she said I have not worked for someone I have a crush on before, then still 100% out of order.

Really really inappropriate and not funny.

It depends, would it still be a clear joke. Like a bonus isn’t really something you would joke about is it.

You are being really uptight about it I think. It’s clearly a joke because not only did she get a new job which is obviously a great day for her, but she got told about a fun perk like cake…it’s just a sense of humour.

I really don’t like when people can’t laugh about things like this, she isn’t hitting on him, it isn’t appropriate, she isn’t putting him in a difficult place. If that is inappropriate it is a wonder I haven’t been sacked before now…I’m sure at one point I will have offered to leave my husband and run away with someone, actually in front of him most likely too. This is how some people joke

I’d expect him to rescind the offer due to inappropriate remarks.

Why would it be ok to say she loved him but not that she had a crush on him?

I think it was just a clumsy joke. I also think you know that or you’d have included the context in the original post. The context really did change my entire opinion on her comment!

If you’d offered me a penguin I would have given you a wedding proposal. A shortbread biscuit and it might have gotten a bit obscene 😂

I think this is very much a situation where you would have had to be there. Your retelling of it without the key bit changed the entire premise. Now that you have given the full details, I can easily image how it was clearly a joke that fitted in that specific moment. The way your DH recounted it to you and you wrote it here is not a reflection on how it went down in that moment. Let it go. It was an interview situation and you weren't there. It may have been fitting and funny in that moment.

It was a joke that landed poorly with you, in the retelling.

Sounds like the people present for it took it as intended.

Yes, the cake thing changes it. It was a bit of an awkward thing to say but obviously meant as a joke. You're overreacting.

I think you are too close to this because he is your DH

Now you've given the context I wouldn't have any problem with that joke at all

Yep. This. This.

Sounds like your husband is testing the water with you. Massive red flag.
Apart from being a totally unprofessional (and bootlicking) comment, boundary well and truly crossed. Your husband and co director should know this.

Because people say they love people all the time when they don't. To the shop assistant who finds the last whatever you need, etc etc.

Having a crush is believable, if juvenile.

That is deeply unprofessional. Have they considered withdrawing the job offer, or at least having HR discuss behavioural expectations and making it clear that adhering to these forms part of her probation? Wow.

Maybe it was a joke gone wrong.
Love you already if you have cake?
Joking?

DH didn't say it or cause it to he said, how is he getting the blame for this and now teasing the water for the torrid affair he wants to have??