Would you be upset if a new hire at work said this to the director? The director is my DH.

[BleefinbackBlean]

‘I’ve never worked with someone I have a crush on before’

🙄

if was said when accepting the job role via Teams.

Highly inappropriate……..nearly as bad as the comment a tempt made about our general manager some years ago………no bullshit…….she was actually heard to say “jeez! XXXX is fucking hot! I would love to have painful sex with him”………she wasn’t working with us for long.

Someone once called my husband a reverse catfish (ie he was better looking that the the pictures on the website) when she met him face to face. This was a client he was recommend to her so she contacted him via our website and when he then met her face to face this is what she said!!

he then discouraged her from using our services cos he said he was really uncomfortable

If I were him I would have immediately reported the conversation to HR because it sounds like she could be a future problem to him. Especially as the junior female employee.

For you though I wouldn’t worry because surely he isn’t daft enough to be the senior male employee who starts an affair with a junior. It would not end well.

This. The problems in the future - you won't know what hit you and your dh!

For you though I wouldn’t worry because surely he isn’t daft enough to be the senior male employee who starts an affair with a junior

Right, because that never happens...no need to worry about that at all, especially since he has handled the remark so appropriately 😳 (as if he and his male colleagues were a bunch of 14 Yr old boys 🙄)

Is it true though? I can’t imagine someone doing/saying this. Is your dh making it up to boost his ego with you? Does he have form for trying to make you jealous?

It was more a ‘make sure your husband realises how much of a cliche it would make him, and how risky it would be to be a director chasing a junior member of staff’ and also MOST men wouldn’t do this.

It was in response to him telling her every Friday is ‘Cake Friday’
she was the stand out candidate. Even I thought the same.

Were they ok elsewhere or batshit anyway?

Oh that's completely different.. I'd probably declare undying love too

He needs to rescind the offer. She clearly has no professional boundaries

I think it’s a poorly executed joke to be honest. I too would love someone who had cake Friday’s on the regular. 🤣 I think it just hasn’t landed well (with you at least).

With this context I think it was obviously a joke!

Obviously she developed the crush during the interview when she could see him on the screen? Just a nervous reaction I would say, she was trying to give a compliment.

Context is everything, probably not something I would say in this situation but it makes more sense now you have explained why she said it.

Sounds like a joke to me

You probably should have mentioned the cake but at the start, sounds like she was trying to express her love of cake

Is it hash cakes?

Ah, so it’s ‘this man is going to give me cake every Friday so I’ll joke that I have a crush on him and that means he’s now my favourite person cos who doesn’t love cake’.
Her response to him was clumsy and most likely down to nerves in wanting to say something funny and lighthearted in response to cake Fridays. But it was the cake. It was the cake.

Oh well that changes the context entirely.

Director: Friday is cake day, we all take it in turns to bake and treat each other
New hire: I think I’m in love with you already 😂

that is literally the type of comment I could make to a man or woman, old or young, fit or not…and it would mean nothing other than that I am well happy I can have cake 😂

It’s not funny though joke or no joke

This, I would be saying sorry no. That is completely inappropriate

I trust my husband completely so I wouldn't feel upset, but I'd be a bit concerned about his professional capacity if he continued to offer her the job after that. I could overlook the laughter, that can easily be a nervous reaction when the situation suddenly gets uncomfortable and inappropriate and you don't know what to do.

It's obviously landed well with her H and his fellow director which would indicate they don't see their relationship with this new employee as being one that's going to be conducted on a professional level. To be on with amount of familiarity with a new employee is pretty surprising and concerning.

I voted YANBU Based on your opening post.

YABVVVU Not to mention the cake thing straight away: I now think it was a daft joke.

Well that was a huge drip feed and I suspect you did so deliberately because you knew people would see it as a joke in response to him talking about the cake.

I will now be amending my vote.