AIBU to insist my parents book a hotel for their visit?

[WalkBackwards]

We have moved house recently and our parents have been wanting to visit. We have said they can but that they will have to book a hotel as the spare bedrooms aren’t ready yet, or they can wait another couple of months and everything will be done in the house so they can then stay with us.

They asked if there are beds in the spare rooms, which there are, so they suggested one of our children (adult and teenager) could sleep in there and they could have their room. I said no as the spare rooms are messy and being used for storage. They have now messaged our children to ask if they mind sleeping in another room so they can have their bedroom. I called my mum and told her not to do that, we had said no and if they want to visit, they need to get a hotel or wait.

Were we unreasonable to say no to this? My parents plan to visit for 2 weeks at the start of September. My oldest child is only here til just after they plan to leave as he is going back to uni and my teenager needs her own space for studying as she is starting year 13.

If this were for a long weekend then I'd ask a DC to move. But not for 2 weeks at the beginning of a new term. Your youngest needs a PC and also space to decompress.

If the spare room is on offer but not up to required standards it sounds like a them problem. I'd offer either coming for a much shorter length eg Friday-Monday, Airbnb or holding off.

Your “children” are in their late teens.

Have they both said they don’t want to swap? Or are you deciding for them? I’m not clear

OP doesn't have a 13 year old. She has 17 year old (year 13) who needs a quiet place to study now that school is starting for her final A level year

She has a child off to Uni who needs to pack their room

The parents have been offered 3 options in OP's home - all of which they turned down as not meeting their standards

• spare room - not up to standards
• OP's room - don't want to get up for builders
• OP's DH's garden office - don't want to be in the garden

Plus they have turned down hotel and Air BnB

It would be a lot easier for everyone if they'd come for a shorter visit or be prepared to compromise their standards

Yes they don't want to swap - the DD is in her final A-level year and needs her quiet study space with desk, computer, books etc the DS is off to uni and needs to pack and wants a private space for last days with gf. Neither want to have restricted access to their clothing and other stuff for 2 weeks.

The parents seem very rigid - have turned down 5 options (3 in OP's home) as not up to their standards and refuse to come for less than a fortnight.

No the Op didn’t say that they didn’t want to

she said she didn’t want them to take the spare room because…. Xyz

no where does the Op actually say both her adult kids have said “no way am I swapping”

I presume they did though.

I can’t get my head round this site some times. Of course you can’t chuck your kids out their own rooms for two weeks as your parents don’t wish to sleep in the spare room. One night, maybe, but 2 weeks, no way.

i also think it’s awful they texted the kids when you already said no, that’s not ok. Why do they think it’s ok to have a grandkid chucked out their room for two weeks and all the hassle associated with thay and their stuff

id not habe offered to pay. They are making this purposely difficult.

I certainly hope she would decide for them. It’s an outrageous notion, given the intended length of the visit.
This is their home, and that ought to have meaning in their parents’ actions, in circs like this.

Anyway these prospective guests have erased any goodwill I’d have, with their impersonation of an immovable block of concrete. You don’t invite yourself to any home, even your offspring’s, and lay down demands such as these.

At 18, if my son wanted to swap with his grandparents, I wouldn’t be forbidding him

What is a spare room for if not for guests? They are being absolutely ridiculous and they can stick their old fashioned ‘formal’ values where the sun don’t shine!