AIBU to insist my parents book a hotel for their visit?

[WalkBackwards]

We have moved house recently and our parents have been wanting to visit. We have said they can but that they will have to book a hotel as the spare bedrooms aren’t ready yet, or they can wait another couple of months and everything will be done in the house so they can then stay with us.

They asked if there are beds in the spare rooms, which there are, so they suggested one of our children (adult and teenager) could sleep in there and they could have their room. I said no as the spare rooms are messy and being used for storage. They have now messaged our children to ask if they mind sleeping in another room so they can have their bedroom. I called my mum and told her not to do that, we had said no and if they want to visit, they need to get a hotel or wait.

Were we unreasonable to say no to this? My parents plan to visit for 2 weeks at the start of September. My oldest child is only here til just after they plan to leave as he is going back to uni and my teenager needs her own space for studying as she is starting year 13.

Just a suggestion.
If you have builders in can they paint the spare room white?
An apprentice can do that if they have one. Just don't paint over paper!
Buy a screen from Wayfair ( to hide the gym machines or put them in the summer house with your DH) and some new towels.
Fresh flowers etc.
When they've gone you can use the white paint as a base coat to your final colour choices.
They're being unreasonable but if they won't listen I don't know the answer.
Did they give you early inheritance so feel entitled? Many do in those circumstances.
Your son could go in the summer house but I get he has his books etc.

We are travelling 3hrs tomorrow to visit hubby's family for 2 nights and staying in a hotel. There is absolutely no reason your parents need to stay for 2 weeks for a drive that short. We used to do 11.5hrs from south Wales to NE England for a week when DS was a baby. Why not suggest your parents stay with you (in your room and you have spare) for one or two nights to see grandchildren then they book a hotel for however long they want to stay and "explore the area".

They are your parents and your son's grandparents.
Yabvu although it was thoughtless of your mum to message your children

You've got spare rooms, with beds? So use them for the visitors. They can walk round the boxes.

They are completely unreasonable asking DC to move out of their room.
However if there was a bed in the spare room id let them.use it, with the proviso the room is a mess and you cant sort it for their visit so they might be more comfortable in a hotel. Send them a photo of it.
2 weeks is a long stay thou!

In this scenario, if my parents had accepted the offer to sleep in the spare room full of stuff and very messy… I can guarantee my 18 year old DS would have insisted they take this room. And his girlfriend would have been totally supportive.

So they won’t sleep in the spare rooms or a hotel and they’ve contacted your children behind your back after you had already given them an answer.

Has your mother always been this entitled?

I can see why they want to come. It would be kind of you to give them your room and you move to a ‘messy’ spare room. Won’t be popular here tho.
I agree she shouldn’t have messaged your teens. The decision has to be yours.

It’s ’not popular here’ because the en suite is being replaced, the builders are in at 7.30am and the OP’s parents don’t want to stay in it!

at least read the OP’s posts.

I think, even if one of your DC was willing to give up their bedroom, they would need access to it every day. Your DD will need her clothes, books, computer etc and your DS will be packing for uni. This would be very disruptive for your parents. Your mother should not have contacted them after you had explained the options. (I'm also impressed that your DC's bedrooms meet your parents' exacting standards.)

I couldn't bear them staying for 2 weeks and would not agree to that it's making me stressed thinking about it.

Your mums reaction is definitely not acceptable! Cancel her trip outright . It's not that urgent that they have to come before you are ready. And when you are ready limit the time she can stay maybe two nights only! That'll tell her you make the decisions!

They refused - not up to their standards

Two weeks? I wouldn’t last two days with them.

Oh they can fucking stay where they are! I'd be furious that:

1. You have not long moved and they think they're entitled to stay for 2 weeks, fuck off!

2. They think they're to good to sleep in a not ready room, we'll stay in a hotel or better still, stay at home.

3. They are happy to toss your children out of their own rooms, the cheeky fuckery is at large.

4. To go behind your back and ask your children to give up their personal space for 2 long sodding weeks after the upheaval of moving. Your boundaries have been crossed and they are not to be trusted IMO.

I would tell them that they can stay home and facetime your son before he goes to uni.
We accept certain things from family members, but this is intolerable behaviour, masked as caring about wanting to see their grandson but bollocks to everyone else. Absolutely not!

so your family would suggest visiting for 2 weeks during a move whilst work is being done, people are working and suggest giving up your beds? I don’t think that’s a sign of closeness, it’s quite rude,

You beat me to it - that was my first thought too. Out of order and would piss me off.