Just walked out on kids

[patiencehasgone]

Just that, really.

9 and 12 years old. Constantly fucking bickering.

Do not listened to me when I ask them to stop. Or listen full stop really.

They started arguing over a fucking face towel, so I said ‘nope, not having this be my life’ grabbed my bag and keys, got in my car and have driven round the corner and parked up.

not really sure what I do from here really.

It’s interesting that that’s one of your core memories though.

Well that's irresponsible. Oh no, my children are bickering! How unusual for siblings.

Routinely ignoring your children until you just can’t take it anymore and then snap is not healthy. And just because the snapping was a one off does not mean that OP is fine not finding a better way of dealing with it.

@maxslice you are far too sensible for this thread.

Yes - because it was an important lesson. It taught me that my mother was a human being and not a saint with limitless patience.

Not every mark left by a memory is a scar.

Probably because it was so unexpected and unusual and not a regular feature of her parenting.

It’s scary AF to children if you just slam the door and drive away. OP’s kids are pretty young. Did she leave them alone with
no other adult in the house? They are left to wonder if she will ever come back. They are being exasperating, but just taking off for parts unknown for God knows how long, may traumatize them. Because they’re CHILDREN. I completely understand OP’s frustration, but I think she could have handled it better. Trauma doesn’t have to be repeated to have a lasting emotional effect.

Real parents, also need to communicate with their kids on how to cope with overwhelming feelings. They can even say, “I’m so frustrated, angry, and overwhelmed with you two. I’m going to go take a bath and lock the door.” Or something like. Every parent ends up shouting. Not every parent throws things, or takes off like a bat out of hell.

There's a vast gulf between "Stepford parents" and child abuse.

Shouting is totally different to what OP did.

Nope. My children are primary school aged and preschoolers. I'm right in this stage. Still managed to never abuse them.

Agreed. And reflecting on your not-so-great moments, honestly, is not the same as minimising what you’ve done and sweeping it under the rug.

The fact her children weren't at all shocked would suggest she regularly tantrums in their presence.

Shout if you must, calm down, by all means. Having a tantrum because your children are bickering, shows them that having a tantrum is okay.

@Stepstepsteptwo- if you genuinely believe that I abuse my children, please feel free to report me to the relevant services.

was today my finest moment? Absolutely not, hands held firmly up. Do I think I’m abusive? No, not really. If it was something I did repeatedly, you would have a point. But I can assure you, my kids are not cowering wrecks, afraid to put a foot wrong incase I leave. Bickering has continued.

I think you’d be wasting valuable time and resources.

Her children don’t know that.

I don't disagree.

You need to go to the Lost & Found to see if you can locate your missing empathy.

"But I can assure you, my kids are not cowering wrecks, afraid to put a foot wrong incase I leave."

Not yet.

Funny.

Did you come up with that one all by yourself?

Absolutely. As the current pattern appears to be once in 12 years, what age do you think they’ll be when they are traumatised by me?

I can take judgement on the situation no problem, but abuse is too far.

Oh, I also didn’t slam the door behind me, or run off like a bat out of hell (although I don’t think it was you that said that). I closed the door, went back in to retrieve my door key as it wasn’t in my bag, and then left again. I’d also appreciate it being pointed out where I’ve minimised it too, which has also been said.

again though, feel free to get in touch with anyone you feel the need to.

Aye alright Jackanory 😂

It is. My daughter was babysitting once (not saying it’s equivalent) the two kids were going on this way. She watched them for a moment or two, then said, “Right. I’m going to another room. Let me know when you’re done.” I was impressed. She said to me, “No audience, no show.” After awhile, they got bored of fighting and stopped.

Completely different, to having your mother driving off in a raging snit for who knows where for who knows how long,

Your behaviour today would be considered emotionally abusive. That has clearly hit a nerve. Good. Hopefully that means you'll find another way to manage your emotions next time.

So funny to cause harm to children, isn't it? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂