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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK?

696 replies

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:26

Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK
UK arrivals have been told to treat women equally, not sexually assault partners or have sex with children in a new Home Office pamphlet. As well as the guidebook, a series of posters have also been designed by the government.

https://news.sky.com/story/asylum-seekers-warned-not-to-make-kissing-sounds-at-people-in-new-guidance-about-living-in-uk-13574744

OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
IHaveTraumaFromAlfredHitchcocksTheBirds · 19/08/2026 20:29

I wish they would give this guidance to all men tbh.

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 19/08/2026 20:29

They should be handing that out in schools

nocoolnamesleft · 19/08/2026 20:32

Sounds like it needs handing out to the homegrown male population.

takealettermsjones · 19/08/2026 20:32

This guidance has been in place for a long time.

Also, similar guidance is rolled out in most workplaces about once a year in the form of anti-sexual harassment training.

It's not really headline news tbh, and as usual the right wing media is spinning the hell out of it.

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 20:33

The age of consent is different in different countries.

in Islam, like in the U.K. up until the 1990s rape within marriage is not a thing.

understanding the laws of the country you are in is important.

plenty of British people assume the law elsewhere is the same as the U.K. and come a cropper.

In Dubai all sex outside marriage is illegal but the authorities largely turn a blind eye. This British person was arrested and jailed however

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cq8zdvzj5vwo

Marcus Fakana in school uniform looks directly at the camera with his head against a grey backdrop.

Marcus Fakana: Teen jailed in Dubai for sex with girl is released

The Londoner was jailed in December for a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old British girl.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cq8zdvzj5vwo

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:34

takealettermsjones · 19/08/2026 20:32

This guidance has been in place for a long time.

Also, similar guidance is rolled out in most workplaces about once a year in the form of anti-sexual harassment training.

It's not really headline news tbh, and as usual the right wing media is spinning the hell out of it.

It 's been in place for a long time? Then it is not working is it?

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 19/08/2026 20:35

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:34

It 's been in place for a long time? Then it is not working is it?

Edited

Can you explain what you mean?

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:37

Octavia64 · 19/08/2026 20:33

The age of consent is different in different countries.

in Islam, like in the U.K. up until the 1990s rape within marriage is not a thing.

understanding the laws of the country you are in is important.

plenty of British people assume the law elsewhere is the same as the U.K. and come a cropper.

In Dubai all sex outside marriage is illegal but the authorities largely turn a blind eye. This British person was arrested and jailed however

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cq8zdvzj5vwo

Regardless. Don't you see? That doesn't matter - the end product / result is the same. And a leaflet won't change it. As proven actually by the comment above who stated these leaflets have been available for 'a long time'.

OP posts:
EmeraldRoulette · 19/08/2026 20:39

I’ve just been on another thread about this

I thought we were very late to it, the European countries did it ages ago. Fat lot of good it did them.

YANBU.

YouHaveAnArse · 19/08/2026 20:39

I think we should be giving all men the same training, tbh.

Pollqueen · 19/08/2026 20:41

YANBU OP but you will be gaslight to death on this thread

HewasH2O · 19/08/2026 20:44

Each new generation of men & women need to know the expectations off the society they are entering, whether born in the UK or elsewhere. In the same way as a family going to the US on holiday may not realise that their children can't drink until they are 21 regardless of the law in the UK.

Do you really believe that it's the first thing on the mind of those poor young people claiming asylum?

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:45

takealettermsjones · 19/08/2026 20:35

Can you explain what you mean?

Some basic data from the MoJ

'Data from the Ministry of Justice (MoJ), obtained by the the Centre for Migration Control think tank under freedom of information laws, has revealed that 26% of 1,453 sex assault convictions on women last year were foreign nationals.
Indian nationals accounted for the highest number in foreign national convictions in 2024, with 38.
Romanians nationals were second with 27 assault, joint with Polish nationals also on 27.
Pakistani nationals accounted for 20 sexual assault conviction while 19 Afghan nationals were convicted.

While accounting for 26% of sexual assault convictions last year, foreign nationals make up 10.9% of the population.
More than a fifth of all rape convictions last year were also foreign nationals.
They made up 155 of the 720 convictions for “rape of a female aged 16 or over”, with a further 42 convictions being an “unknown” nationality.'

There are examples in the news every day. And yes before you say but british men rape too, yes we know. We don't need more.

OP posts:
bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:46

Pollqueen · 19/08/2026 20:41

YANBU OP but you will be gaslight to death on this thread

Oh yes... Desperate of them isn't it. Or stupid. I don't know which. I really don't know.

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 19/08/2026 20:46

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:45

Some basic data from the MoJ

'Data from the Ministry of Justice (MoJ), obtained by the the Centre for Migration Control think tank under freedom of information laws, has revealed that 26% of 1,453 sex assault convictions on women last year were foreign nationals.
Indian nationals accounted for the highest number in foreign national convictions in 2024, with 38.
Romanians nationals were second with 27 assault, joint with Polish nationals also on 27.
Pakistani nationals accounted for 20 sexual assault conviction while 19 Afghan nationals were convicted.

While accounting for 26% of sexual assault convictions last year, foreign nationals make up 10.9% of the population.
More than a fifth of all rape convictions last year were also foreign nationals.
They made up 155 of the 720 convictions for “rape of a female aged 16 or over”, with a further 42 convictions being an “unknown” nationality.'

There are examples in the news every day. And yes before you say but british men rape too, yes we know. We don't need more.

Okay. How many would there have been without this guidance, do you know?

Leapintothelightning · 19/08/2026 20:49

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:45

Some basic data from the MoJ

'Data from the Ministry of Justice (MoJ), obtained by the the Centre for Migration Control think tank under freedom of information laws, has revealed that 26% of 1,453 sex assault convictions on women last year were foreign nationals.
Indian nationals accounted for the highest number in foreign national convictions in 2024, with 38.
Romanians nationals were second with 27 assault, joint with Polish nationals also on 27.
Pakistani nationals accounted for 20 sexual assault conviction while 19 Afghan nationals were convicted.

While accounting for 26% of sexual assault convictions last year, foreign nationals make up 10.9% of the population.
More than a fifth of all rape convictions last year were also foreign nationals.
They made up 155 of the 720 convictions for “rape of a female aged 16 or over”, with a further 42 convictions being an “unknown” nationality.'

There are examples in the news every day. And yes before you say but british men rape too, yes we know. We don't need more.

Sooo 74% were British nationals?
yeah sounds like an immigration issue…

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:49

YouHaveAnArse · 19/08/2026 20:39

I think we should be giving all men the same training, tbh.

Don't rape children? You think your ever day British bloke needs to be guided not to rape children?

OP posts:
AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/08/2026 20:50

Wait for the sea of ‘but white British men rape you anyway’ as some sort of excuse as to justify letting men in from misogynistic cultures and from countries no woman would go anywhere near. Every thread.

Kingdomofsleep · 19/08/2026 20:50

Actually I think it might be to prevent foreigners using ignorance of the law as a defence. So it's not intended to prevent any crimes but to make it easier to prosecute

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:51

Leapintothelightning · 19/08/2026 20:49

Sooo 74% were British nationals?
yeah sounds like an immigration issue…

So you don't understand proportionality then, approx 82% of men in the UK are British etc? We probably can't discuss much further tbh, if you don't get what that means for statistics..

OP posts:
bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:53

Kingdomofsleep · 19/08/2026 20:50

Actually I think it might be to prevent foreigners using ignorance of the law as a defence. So it's not intended to prevent any crimes but to make it easier to prosecute

Great. Thank goodness we have that. (😑)

OP posts:
nomas · 19/08/2026 20:53

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:34

It 's been in place for a long time? Then it is not working is it?

Edited

Why are you only bothered by black and brown men ignoring the ‘don’t rape women’ law? Why not white men?

takealettermsjones · 19/08/2026 20:54

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:49

Don't rape children? You think your ever day British bloke needs to be guided not to rape children?

It explains the age of consent.

The every day British bloke will have been told the UK age of consent in a British school. An asylum seeker will not have been told the UK age of consent before, so it's probably a good idea he is told as soon as possible, isn't it?

EmeraldRoulette · 19/08/2026 20:56

Leapintothelightning · 19/08/2026 20:49

Sooo 74% were British nationals?
yeah sounds like an immigration issue…

And what proportion of the UK population are UK born - do you know?

NancyThompson · 19/08/2026 20:56

They know. They don't care.