AIBU to refuse regular Sunday evening childcare for my daughter?

[Asineleen]

Good morning all, I’m not sure if i’m being selfish or fair so please be honest.

Context, I’m 62, I have some health issues but I’m generally able to get on with most parts of life, I do find somethings quite overwhelming though.

Last night my DD messaged me, she has 3 children, twins who are 2 and a 4 year old. I love my granddaughters, I love spending time with them and I’m happy to have them occasionally. Currently they come for a sleep over every other month on a Saturday night and I may provide some ad-hoc childcare if and when it’s needed.
DD was asking if I would be happy to come to hers on alternating Sunday nights from 7ish to 9:30ish in the evening. She and her husband want to go to the mixed doubles group at the local tennis club (they already go to ladies and gents night but obviously the other just stays home with the kids).
She said her mother in law has offered to do every other Sunday.
She told me she would make sure the girls were bathed and in bed and they wouldn’t leave until 7:15 and it continues until 9pm then they would be back around 9:15-30.
I live 10 minutes away, DD said she would make sure either she or her DH be able to drive me home.
She said likely the girls wouldn’t be asleep just yet but the twins would be close and I could sit with her eldest and read with her then it would just be manning the house from about 8 onwards.

I said sorry no I can’t. Mostly as I have work at 8am on Mondays, I tend to be in bed for 8-9 most evenings and tbh I just don’t think it would be as easy as she is selling it, I imagine the children would be out of sorts since mummy and daddy were away and it’s a school night for the eldest so I would feel awful if I wasn’t able to get her down to sleep on time.
I do have 2 children, but there is 11 and a half years between them so I never had a phase of caring for multiple very small children and while I’m happy to do it on a Saturday where bedtime can go a bit off plan and it not matter, I’d worry on a school night.

When my mum called this morning I mentioned it to her and my mum has made me feel awful saying considering all they do for me (drive to appointments, cut my grass etc.), it would be a nice small way to say thank you and if son-in-laws mum can do it and she’s in a whole different town, why can’t I.

So AIBU to say no? Am I being selfish and ungrateful since they do things for me? Should I say yes and just see how it goes?

No, it's called give and take. If one doesn't drive, needs lifts at 62 and has health issues that will not change so you do what you can when you can so when you can't it's ok.

How many times on mn do we see posters resentful of having to help their ageing frail parents out because they were always so reluctant to assist when younger?

But she already does some childcare. Does she have to do more and more and more and more to be worthy enough for lifts to very necessary hospital appointments which aren’t comparable to the want of tennis?

Why can’t what she does now be enough?

She already helps her out lol. She has 3 young children sleeping over at her house on a semi regular basis! That’s a mad level of help and hard work.

Because it is entitled daughters posting that suck their mothers dry obviously. I hope they all feel guilty when their Mum’s die that they never got a break. I hope when they are Grandparents and they realise they’re still working and exhausted what we were trying to tell them. They’re acting like it’s a privilege to look after people THEIR WHOLE LIFE. No wonder so many women chuck themselves in a river in the middle of the night or run off with a toyboy from Turkey 😂