So angry what is wrong with some parents

[fumingrightnow1]

My dd14 was supposed to be sleeping at a friend's tonight. They have had an argument and she said let's just leave it and go to sleep her friend told her she had to leave so she's walked home and just come in the door at gone 10pm. I can't believe the mum didn't step in and do anything or let me know and I would've got her. I've said to dd why didn't you call me but she just shrugged and said she was fine walking and didn't want to stand outside waiting for me. Its about a 10 minute walk. I don't let her out on her own at this time of night. As a parent i would have stepped in and can't believe this other mum did nothing.

No why would i its done now. I've spoke to my dd about calling me in this situation and she won't be going to sleep at this girls house again. So nothing more needs to be said

It is if parents were unaware.

Well why bother messaging in the first place then?

To highlight that her child was home and no longer in the other woman’s care?

just came to post this… this is the most randomly argumentative contrary thread I’ve read in ages which is saying something.
Quite depressing really.

Also have a 14 year old DD and totally agree with the above. No way would I let one of my DDs friends walk home at night! And I could imagine my DD possibly doing it without really thinking of the risks or implications too.
And the benefit of high school is that you dont have to have contact with other parents 😂

Ah right. I thought it was to find out why the other mother had let the child walk home at 10pm on her own, not to reassure her that all was well.

not having to deal with other parents is literally the bloody best thing about high school.

Which is why the daughter should've phones her mum and said she was headed home

I love this thread.

Why didn’t she contact OP to say the child was walking home??

Did she have OP’s number?

No! Don’t be ridiculous! Why would they swap numbers??

Um. So that she could contact OP to tell her the child was walking home alone?

It does both. What would you expect to be achieved by OP turning up at her door?

Sorry you didn’t get a reply from the Mother OP

Thats very crap. Sounds like your daughter would be safer away from this particular friendship now that you know you can’t rely on this particular parent to let you know if there are any problems

She could of got dd to come sit down and call me.

I agree, but I was just wondering if having been chucked out at 10 pm and told to go away, and the Mum just ignoring the whole thing, if the DD was actually just desperate to get home as soon as possible. And too upset to think rationally like, I must phone my mum.
It must have been a bit humiliating to be told to get out like that and the adult allowing.. Teenages are mortified and embarrassed at the smallest thing, perhaps she was just really ashamed.

The argument sounded like it was the other teen telling DD that she wasn't to be friends with someone that the other teen didn't like. That sounds quite bossy.

I think OP that its lucky DD has fallen out with this particular friend as she doesn't sound at all nice and her Mum is not as careful about supervision as you would like.

I don’t think I’d let her do sleep overs if she’s not going to ring you when needed .

Well hopefully after I explained the dangers of nobody knowing if something had happened to her has done the trick and she's learnt how dangerous it could of been. If she does it again she won't be leaving the house ever again

Whilst your DD was in her care she had the responsibility to make sure that she was safe, including getting home safe. She was the adult in the situation and thus should have had good enough judgement not to let your DD walk home alone at that time.

Yes, your DD should have texted you to get her. However, she is 14, had an argument, very emotional and her head probably all over the place since she was in tears. She had a lapse in judgement and while she should have contacted you, I don't think she should be punished and held primarily responsible for this. A conversation about the importance of prioritising her own safety always, rather than her being told off.

The other mum is 100% to blame here. In no reality would I let someone else's teenage daughter walk home alone at 10pm for any amount of time, regardless of what has happened or what anybody else thinks.

Thanks i agree I have not punished dd. We just had a chat.

I think it’s mad that the other mum didn’t do anything unless your DD wouldn’t give her your number? Anyway it’s done now she won’t be sleeping over at that house again and hopefully she’s learnt her lesson and will always phone you in the future. I’d have been really annoyed too tbh.

She couldn’t of done that if your daughter had of already left though

Your thread title is ‘So angry - what is wrong with some parents?’

The rest of the thread is about quibbling over every rule or choice of parenting and justifying YOURSELF. So, no, not angry about the other mum at all.

You know if you actually went round and spoke to her it wouldn’t go well for you, so you haven’t bothered.

Perhaps your thread title is apt after all - but the parent referred to is you.

That’s a lot of what ifs. No wonder we have an anxiety epidemic. What nonsense.

DD is 14, was only 10m away and didn’t want to “hang around” to wait for you.

I would expect her to have at least messaged she’s on her way home.

Yeah but sbe still walked out before your dc left. So i would noy assume she knows that she actually left.
Whst did they fall out about?

Jeez OP. WTF is wrong with some of these posters. I can’t imagine letting my dd walk home at 10pm alone. I can’t imagine having a child at my house and not being completely responsible for their care and safety. In loco parentis! The mother had parental responsibility for your child whilst you were not there. She should have taken steps to calm the argument and make sure your DD was safely returned to you. You have every right to be angry. Yes, your daughter should have called you, but she’s 14 and 14 year olds aren’t exactly known for their ability to make sensible decisions, especially in emotionally charged situations. The adult is absolutely responsible. Talking to your dd without punishment is absolutely the right thing to do .
some posters on here are nuts or just goody and being contrary for the hell of it.