Couples holiday grief

[notmyrodeonotmymonkeys]

Please help mn I’m not sure what to do.

Couoles A B and C are going on holiday tomorrow. They are driving in in 2 cars. Couples A and B live in the same town so they are travelling together. Couple C are coming from a different direction and are travelling separately. The holiday has been split equally 3 ways and everyone intends to pay for themselves whilst there. Travel costs for petrol and parking will be approximately £120 per car. Couple A intended to pay for their costs as they know couple B earn significantly less than them (about 30k a year less) but would be happy if couple b get them a couple of drinks or similar.
Couple C have now approached Couple A and said they think it’s unfair Couple B are not paying for their travel expenses and that it would be fair to split it 3 ways. A pointed out that B do not have much money and C replied that they treat themselves plenty (which is true they are very much live for today). A feels uncomfortable broaching B for money especially at such late notice as it’s too late for them to make alternative arrangements should they want to.

Yabu B should pay their fair share
YANBU C is wrong to ask for shared costs

Yes. If B and C are offspring to A, potentially it won’t be the first time that A has subsidised B’s life, so that’s why C is kicking off.

its not just about the car trip expenses.

Great question. We need OP to come back and tell us!

I thought C were grasping/miserly/ridiculous but if it’s an ongoing family dynamic that A always helps out B (and not C), I can see how it might grate.

That said, in our family those who earn more tend to subsidise others a bit on the basis that it helps everyone afford to do stuff together. I think it’s nice.

Also where would A B and C draw the line in evening things out? What if someone needs to get the tube to a family meet-up and another person walks… would they share out those costs…?

Finally, C gets to travel in comfort (both in the front, more space etc), which I reckon is worth a few quid!

OP was called out so they won't be back.

Why is no one driving an EV?!! That won’t cost £120… in fact, tell C to buy an EV to save on fuel cost… even better to solve this if you are A (and parent of C), BUY them an EV to fix it all!!!

Oooo…. I like the idea that couple D are the grandparents that own a massive villa in St Ives and is travelling to stay with them!!

Couple A is already driving there, and since Couple B lives nearby, the trip costs Couple A absolutely nothing extra. When people genuinely want to treat you, the absolute best response is to simply accept their kindness with grace. Allowing someone to do something nice for you is a great way to let them show they care.

I can't fathom why your adult kids are going on holidays together when there is such obvious resentment and inequality perceived or otherwise. I can only assume this is about much more than fifty quid.
All the talk about your children's earnings, their attitude to money and telling one what you have spent on the other is inappropriate.
But apart from all that and most importantly, its blatantly obvious that the parents are too involved and this holiday will end up being a messy and bitter affair.

It would explain a lot if it's family drama and not "friends" acting like CFers.

Good luck with that holiday. Imagine going for lunch or dinner within this group …….

To be fair we don't have confirmation that it's a family group, as OP has refused to say. We are making that assumption. It could still be a friendship group.

This ! I mean really not their business at all !!

I suspect c have assumed a and b are splitting the £120 down the middle so they are the only one paying £120.

So petty either way

Why is petrol included in shared travel costs in this situation?

I haven’t refused to say. I am on holiday baby!!! 🏖️ 🍸 🍷

So tell us now.

As the freeloader or the parent? You're not the parent as your style of posting/language is too young.

Mood

Couple C are cheeky and need to mind their own business. I wouldn't be going on holiday with them again.

Mood? Does that translate to drunk...... baby?

Bored now

Boring boring boring thread.