Couples holiday grief

[notmyrodeonotmymonkeys]

Please help mn I’m not sure what to do.

Couoles A B and C are going on holiday tomorrow. They are driving in in 2 cars. Couples A and B live in the same town so they are travelling together. Couple C are coming from a different direction and are travelling separately. The holiday has been split equally 3 ways and everyone intends to pay for themselves whilst there. Travel costs for petrol and parking will be approximately £120 per car. Couple A intended to pay for their costs as they know couple B earn significantly less than them (about 30k a year less) but would be happy if couple b get them a couple of drinks or similar.
Couple C have now approached Couple A and said they think it’s unfair Couple B are not paying for their travel expenses and that it would be fair to split it 3 ways. A pointed out that B do not have much money and C replied that they treat themselves plenty (which is true they are very much live for today). A feels uncomfortable broaching B for money especially at such late notice as it’s too late for them to make alternative arrangements should they want to.

Yabu B should pay their fair share
YANBU C is wrong to ask for shared costs

I do remember a university holiday where we agreed to allow share everyone's travel costs equally because some people had a 6+ hour trip to get there and some an hour's drive. And we figured the 6 hour trip was both much more annoying and much more expensive than the hour's trip so divided the costs up equally. But that was up front and a much bigger group.

I think C is being ridiculous really.

So couple C can well afford to treat themselves and very much “live for today” (Your own words) Then couple C can well afford the travel expenses, and you and your other half need to not be a doormat and allow it.

C are absolute CFs.

This is a reverse, OP is part of couple C and wasn’t expecting this response

Nah couple A are the parents, and this isn’t a ‘couples holiday’ , it’s a family holiday so the dynamics are quite different. That doesn’t mean that C are right, it just means that isn’t as simple as A saying ‘noyb’.

I think that was referring to B not C.

I was going to say fully YANBU and yet another odd thread where people know so many of their friends salaries. However, since you've gone quiet on whether this is now a family situation (which may explain the knowledge) then that possibly muddies it a little bit.

YANBU to split costs with someone you're travelling with of course but different if totally paying one childs travel costs, can see why the other party may feel left out. (Of course that's irrelevant if not the case)

Travel costs are separate to holiday costs so nothing to do with C. I would leave arrangements as they are. Couple C sound like a nightmare to go away with,

I'm assuming you are couple A. Tell couple C they are welcome to ask couple B for £40 to cover their own travelling expenses and see how that goes down. That you have chosen not to do the same.

C is a clusterfuck

absolutely outrageous. It’s up to A & B how they want to split their travel costs. C is travelling from somewhere else and so have no one to split costs with. That doesn’t mean they should be split 3 ways

No sensible people! I would be embarrassed if I were C.....it is total loser behaviour as a PP said.

I live 200 miles away from my parents, my DB lives in the same town as them. When we go on holiday together, which we do every year I travel much further than they have to and my parents and DB often travel together.

I would never dream of asking my DB to subside my travel costs because I have further to drive. How utterly embarrassing!

So if B change their mind and decide to get train tickets or a taxi instead of a lift with A, C will be perfectly fine with paying towards those costs will they??

Of course they won't, because they're being ridiculous! They're grabby and complete CFs.

Yes, it would put a different spin on it.

So by my reckoning, £120 per car means total travel costs are £240 or £80 each. In couple C paying their full £120 they are paying £40 extra.

Is it really worth a dispute over £40? Think I’d just swallow it

Yes that would change things completely. One would hope couple C would not care but since they do, I think couple A should find a way to level up, even if that means giving couple C the equivalent amount of money just to keep the peace for this holiday. And then consider whether couple C have a legitimate reason to feel aggrieved about unfairness within the family, and perhaps a conversation after the holiday to dig a bit deeper.

If it's just a friendship group, couple C are unbelievably entitled and I would just laugh it off and tell them to stop being so ridiculous.

so A are giving B a lift as it isn’t any extra for them as they would be going anyway…? And C for some reason know that information and have a problem with it?!

B are CF for not offering money. C are massive CF for getting in any way involved. If I was A I would be staying home.

This sounds like one of those math problems in grade school: Car carrying A and B leaves the house at 10 am traveling at y miles per hour, and will pay x costs in petrol. Car C leaves a different house at 11 am and is traveling q miles per hour, and will pay z costs in petrol. If Car C complains that Car A/B has a lower petrol cost than Car C, will either of the cars actually arrive at the destination?