Couples holiday grief

[notmyrodeonotmymonkeys]

Please help mn I’m not sure what to do.

Couoles A B and C are going on holiday tomorrow. They are driving in in 2 cars. Couples A and B live in the same town so they are travelling together. Couple C are coming from a different direction and are travelling separately. The holiday has been split equally 3 ways and everyone intends to pay for themselves whilst there. Travel costs for petrol and parking will be approximately £120 per car. Couple A intended to pay for their costs as they know couple B earn significantly less than them (about 30k a year less) but would be happy if couple b get them a couple of drinks or similar.
Couple C have now approached Couple A and said they think it’s unfair Couple B are not paying for their travel expenses and that it would be fair to split it 3 ways. A pointed out that B do not have much money and C replied that they treat themselves plenty (which is true they are very much live for today). A feels uncomfortable broaching B for money especially at such late notice as it’s too late for them to make alternative arrangements should they want to.

Yabu B should pay their fair share
YANBU C is wrong to ask for shared costs

I’m getting the popcorn already.

sounds like even before the holiday it’s all kicking off.

Makes me glad of kicking off my shoes, putting my feet up and tucking into a pot of Ben & Jerry’s.

instead of a massive sulk and fuming faces in this hot weather.

“how about we order a meal?” 😀

• not bloody likely!!! I will pay my share which is £2.43 for the soup and a roll. And I’m not paying a penny more!”😤

Fucks sake what a pair of twats C are. What a lot of shite over what is effectively £40

Has OP been back? because there are a lot of recent comments based on not much info.

I am guessing C is not getting an invitation to the next holiday!

Ludicrous

C wants A and B to contribute to their petrol haha!

Oh come on OP, you can’t leave us hanging like this!

It’s going to be a looooong holiday of splitting bills to the last penny

Absolutely cannot wait for the subsequent posts from this holiday.

Where did op go? We need to know the if the couples were family or friends..

DH and I are couple C in this scenario with his brother being B.

I think my answer of who is being unreasonable rests with whether this is a one off scenario in which case couple C need to wind their neck in an accept they are coming from a different place so logistics means they pay for their travel costs. If, however, this is a pattern of behaviour where B is subbed frequently because 'poor them' then couple C are not being unreasonable and I think it would be nice of you to offer to subsidise some of C's travel costs in order to keep things fair. And, going forward, you need to stop subbing B and let them live within their means.

Obvious that couple C are hoping a three way split will save them £40 on what at the end of the day, are their own expenses. The split between couples A&B are nothing to do with them as couple A have agreed to foot the bill for couple B. When someone shows you who they really are - in this case petty cheapskates who will put a damper on the holiday for the sake of forty quid - believe them. And make this the last holiday you take with them.

Tell c to get a grip for God's sake .... unless they want to ruin the holiday let them get some rounds of drinks in or something...its not their business if youve already made arrangements with them they're shit stirring.

I have been away with multiple people and cars and tbf we all pooled and split the petrol costs. We'd agreed to do that from the start though.

I suppose there's a third option - you split it "three" ways, but C pays a third and you pay B's third plus your own. So C is happy, and you don't need to go back on your word to B.

I can see the argument that it's not C's business, but I don't think it's worth falling out over.

Yes. Dfferent dynamic

I would view it differently if couple A were the parents and paying for one set of their kids but not the others, yes. It isn't your job to even up their life outcomes. Couple B could have chosen low paying easy jobs for an easy life, or one not working say, whilst Couple C chose to work hard to be able to afford the things they want in life. Why should Couple B be subsidised for that? If it is friends it is different because no one owes anyone anything and making a nice gesture is kind but not expected and no one should be able to argue otherwise. With parents the relationship is different as you owe the same (whatever you view is owed) to both sets of children. Even if Couple B are just struggling and didn't make any different life choices it is still not fair to punish Couple C for being more successful. I would agree anything like that in advance with both sides eg if my Dsis was a single parent on a low income and I was part of a couple that both earned ££££ I would be fine for my parents to eg pay for her to come on holiday with everyone. If she had chosen to stay at home and not work to bring her child up whilst on benefits, or work minimum hours, and was therefore poorer, I would not be happy for her to be subsidised. It all depends on the context.

Couple C is obviously annoyed that Couple B are being treated. But it's sod-all to do with them. Pity Couple A and B didn't decide to keep that between themselves.

But who specifically told them this time?

FFS, come back to this a day later, no updates. Clearly the OP was either the parents or the child getting the freebies. Are you there OP?

I suspect that couple A are the parents and B and C are the adult kids and their partners, which is why it’s getting awkward and heated over what is in the grand scheme a small amount, but is probably just the latest handout to couple B

If this is the setup, then you need to start treating your adult children equally and split three ways, as well as stop the handouts to one over another. It will only lead to increasing resentment and hurt otherwise

Yes, this is the straw that broke couple C's back. It's not about the money, it's about the love.

OP, if this is a parent-children scenario and you are either parent or subsidised child, failing to mention that fact says voluminous volumes about the dysfunction in your family and the part you play in it.

It sounds like typical adult children arguing over parental favouritism.
I'm assuming OP is part of couple C and resents parents supporting B.
Or possibly they are couple B and feel that C is targeting them.
Unless this is all being observed by a couple D.

A bit. You said that you did this before so basically couple A regularly helps one child but not the other. I wouldn’t demand compensation but I would be upset if I were child C.

If they are not parents and children - it’s nothing to do with couple C.

Is it parental favouritism, or is it just giving one of the couples a lift because you’re both travelling in the same direction?
Telling the other couple about costs is the actual issue, why on earth do that?

I am surprised you all know each others salaries in that much detail! Don’t think I know what any of my friends earn

I think it is definitely a family situation.

Couple A being the parents and B is the child who never got to grow up and take responsibility for their lives and married someone who is quite happy to let the in-laws sub their lifestyle

Problems come when the sibling who is expected to pay their own way sees just how much couple B waste their money and their parents just give them more

Wouldnt be surprised if Couple A ‘s estate or the majority of it will go to B and if it is split 50/50 between B & C they will expect C to take over their role to help out B whenever

B’s problems will come when the parents aren’t here to fund their lifestyle and even if they were left their parents entire estate, if they have never been taught to budget the money won’t last and there will be no one to bail them out when it is gone.