Couples holiday grief

[notmyrodeonotmymonkeys]

Please help mn I’m not sure what to do.

Couoles A B and C are going on holiday tomorrow. They are driving in in 2 cars. Couples A and B live in the same town so they are travelling together. Couple C are coming from a different direction and are travelling separately. The holiday has been split equally 3 ways and everyone intends to pay for themselves whilst there. Travel costs for petrol and parking will be approximately £120 per car. Couple A intended to pay for their costs as they know couple B earn significantly less than them (about 30k a year less) but would be happy if couple b get them a couple of drinks or similar.
Couple C have now approached Couple A and said they think it’s unfair Couple B are not paying for their travel expenses and that it would be fair to split it 3 ways. A pointed out that B do not have much money and C replied that they treat themselves plenty (which is true they are very much live for today). A feels uncomfortable broaching B for money especially at such late notice as it’s too late for them to make alternative arrangements should they want to.

Yabu B should pay their fair share
YANBU C is wrong to ask for shared costs

I didn't think anything had been said by either couple.

How do you mean? Couple C came complaining to couple A, so they most definitely said something.

If Couple A are doing the driving and have offered to give Couple B a lift, what on earth is it to do with Couple C ?

Unless Couple B are known to be freeloaders, and it’s a pre-emptive strike to ensure they pay their way over the holiday as a whole?

No way - it's not family surely. I never thought for a moment it was a family dilemma until I saw others did!

• Not family - couple C shut up. But the holiday will be awks now anyway.
• Family - wth sorry no it's not fair. Like wills. In family everything is equal. If family Couple c are right to be aggrieved.

Love a Couple ABC dilemma. Do we need diagrams?

By either couple I meant A or B.

Still no? If my parents were giving my sibling a lift somewhere I wouldn’t expect my journey to be subsidised? Would people expect that even in a family?

You're right, I wouldn't either. But in a family where these things matter (if it is family, we still don't know), then that should really be recognised easily and addressed so as to avoid issues..

Absolutely bonkers, that C is involving themselves.

Changing my reply in case it is parents and children! I would think differently then but only because my mum and sibling leave me out of everything and I get stuck paying more to travel to where they both are, or they drive together somewhere saving money and cost falls to me etc. so if I were C in this situation and you were my mum subsidising my sibling AGAIN I’d be annoyed 😂

Assuming no one is related then it has nothing to do with couple c. If they are related then yes it is unfair that A are subsidising one child over the other.

I can't imagine not contributing if I was couple B, even if it isnt towards fuel costs id at least pivk up some snacks for rhe journey or pay for coffes etc. How much they earn should have nothing to do with it. You shouldn't expect other people to subsidise you because you earn less, either you can afford to go or you can't. A are setting a bit of a precedent here and if B has form for allowing A to cover their expenses then I would be annoyed. It very much does change the dynamic of the group.

Couple B's "fair share" would be half of Couple A's costs, not a third of the whole lot: would Couple C expect Couple A to pay towards their costs if it were just the two couples going?

Exactly this. How anyone can think giving your child a lift somewhere when you’re heading in the same direction would mean that you favour them because you aren’t giving your other child money towards fuel is ridiculous.

It all comes down to whether or not this is a pattern. Maybe A have some health issues and C think B are unreasonable for not driving for example. Maybe C just thinks B takes advantage of their parents

without OP coming back and explaining it’s going to be difficult to tell!

Its actually A and Cs costs.

If A is giving B a lift its between A and B if B is contributing.

Regardless of whether B pays or doesnt is irrelevant to C.

C should butt out

And if C is saying it should be that it should be As cost + Cs cost / ABC. Then C is a CF. C costs are their costs, they arent going out their way it isnt a winfall.

A picking up B adds to their journey and then theres extra weight in the car and without A, B might not be able to get their either for financial or practicality reasons so it would be reasonable for B to offer towards As costs but not Cs. And if A can afford and choose to decline thats kind and none of Cs business.

Yes this. No need to share with C that you are doing B a favour.

Yeah this! Wtf has it got to do with C!

I think couple C should mind their own business. I hope this isn't a sign of drama before the holiday has even begun!

Doubled? Nothing to do with them!!

Given OPs not come back after the family question was raised I’m guessing they are the parents who favour one child over another and use the difference in earnings as their excuse for treating them differently.

This. Cheeky fuckers.

I think this is right.

Assuming this is a parents and adult kids situation, and if not then Couple C are utterly fucking hatstand, the wider context might be a problem. Maybe Couple C contains the golden child or whatever. But in this specific instance, it's none of C's business.

why go away with people you don't like your comments about their spending habits are nasty. Not friends

If you are friends why fall out and start holiday with bad feelings over £50 / £150 quid

why cant people who earn a lots more drive their friends and not charge them its non if c business

Couple C need to learn to keep their noses out of where they don't belong!

I think going on holiday with couple C might turn out to be a bad idea
They sound like miserable tight arses who will quibble every bill