9 year old can’t come to play until he’s done the housework

[NotsureifIwantsummertobeoverornot]

Dd usually plays with a few children from our neighbourhood at the weekend. She’s just been to call at her best friends house. He said he can come, but only when he’s finished doing the housework (mum, dad and him seem to be cleaning)
Do you do this with your Dc, it seemed a bit sad for him or is it in fact good to start children early?
How much tidying/chores etc do your children do, of a similar age?
I ask Dd to tidy up after she’s had toys out and to tidy her room. Sometimes she does it without issue, other times arguments/complaining.

Where do you stand on this?

This is how I was with my dc. They are both now adult dc & do the chores in their own houses and run their own lives. They even have jobs to which they turn up on time. Being allowed to play out with their friends and doing their household jobs at a time more convenient to them was not detrimental to them.
Take a chill pill and let your dc enjoy their friends. You'll soon be on here upset that your dc are feeling left out!

Really wish I'd started it at that age with mine!

My two year old cries to empty the dishwasher with me and my 5 year old absolutely loves cleaning, to the point where she will ask if she can clean. I’m not some sort of slave driver, honestly 🤣
But we have always encouraged age appropriate chores and included them in what we are doing, they love to help.

My 8 year olds household jobs are;
Empty the dishwasher
lay the table on the days he doesn’t “cook”
do 1/2 the recycling (take it outside to the big bins)
put his clothes away in his bedroom.
My 12 year old;
cooks A meal for 4 of us 2 nights a week
clears the table on the days he doesn’t cook
reloads the dishwasher every night
do the other 1/2 recycling
folding and sorting his clothes from his brothers, putting his clothes away upstairs
clean the children’s bathroom 1 day a week
strip his and his brothers beds
do 1 load of laundry per week (including drying)

It’s all about independence. Everything is done under mine or DHs supervision, but my oldest cooks a lovely spag bol, can bake salmon and does a really nice cheese and pineapple tart thing. They also appreciate the things that “Mummy” does for them, as well as helping to keep the house tidy, and clear up their own messes.
I don’t want to raise useless boys that need fully retraining in order to live with someone. It took a lot out of me when I saw my male flatmate at uni try to hoover up sick. Honestly, I wondered if he had been raised by wolves. So I don’t want my boys to live away from me the first time and not be able to do anything for themselves or have to google “how to change a light bulb” or “how to get stains out of white clothes” because that stuff should be taught by mum and dad!

As someone who's mother didn't let them do anything for them selves, all fun and games when you're young. Not so fun when you're 22, living alone and never used a washing machine 😂 my children have chores,I do not want them to be clueless like I was. It's good to know how the real world works before you are forced in to it

I never understand the people who say 'they're kids for such a short time, let them enjoy it' when it comes to normal housework.

They're emptying the dishwasher not putting a shift in down the mine.

Unless he was wedged up a chimney with a set of brushes it’s called good parenting.

I"ve said as much in my posts, that they are kids for such a short time. I totally agree that they should be learning to do jobs when they're young.
My comments are aimed at those parents who absolutely refuse to let theirs out to play when their friends call, until they've done their jobs.
Mine had to do their jobs but I was also flexible with it. If they had a job to do but they unexpectedly got a better offer from their friends I'd let them out on the proviso the jobs are done when they come back.
They are now fully functioning, capable adults.
God, if I've got jobs to do and a friend calls, most of the time I'm out the door and the jobs can wait!

My DD used to help with a bit of dusting at that age. Apart from that it was just really tidying her room and making sure she put dishes in the sink and sorted out school bag etc. She’s got ADHD so just keeping on top of her own room and keeping on top of not spilling mess into communal areas has been enough to try to get her to do. She’s 16 now and probably does less than she should. Pretty much still the same as before as well as washing up own dishes, taking out the bins (not her job per se but when asked) and remembering to mop up the water after a shower and clean the sink after the mess she makes brushing her teeth. No actual “cleaning” as such apart from in her own room.

My mam done it all and the house was spotless as a result I learned absolutely nothing and have had to learn as I go , the same with cooking .