9 year old can’t come to play until he’s done the housework

[NotsureifIwantsummertobeoverornot]

Dd usually plays with a few children from our neighbourhood at the weekend. She’s just been to call at her best friends house. He said he can come, but only when he’s finished doing the housework (mum, dad and him seem to be cleaning)
Do you do this with your Dc, it seemed a bit sad for him or is it in fact good to start children early?
How much tidying/chores etc do your children do, of a similar age?
I ask Dd to tidy up after she’s had toys out and to tidy her room. Sometimes she does it without issue, other times arguments/complaining.

Where do you stand on this?

I started properly when DS started reception. Start with little things and build up. Pack away toys, dust shelves in his room (there were 2), vacuumed the rug in his room, make his bed (basically means pulling up the quilt) were the 'chores' he started with aged 4-5. He still had a childhood.

Absolutely. The Mumsnet mindset that if you have your kids (in particular boys) doing chores from an early age they will continue to do so in adulthood for their partner I find baffling. My dh didn’t have to do housework/chores as a kid but he was raised as a decent human being and as such is a fabulous husband and father who works incredibly hard to provide for his family. We share all household tasks because I didn’t marry a loser who will sit on his arse watching me do the chores. Nothing is too much trouble for him. Housework is never ending really but new appliances are always being made to make life easier and I know when my kids are grown there will be new products available that they will be able to use that Im sure I will find baffling.

Ive 5 children
Dd12 and dd10 alternate the bathroom & kitchen dishes on a evening.
Dd7 clears the hallway and living room before bed
Ds6 hoovers hallway and living room before going upstairs
Ds1 is learning how to help put his toys away.
Dd12&dd10 are only allowed to go out together if beds are made and rooms are tidy and back by 7pm
Ds6&dd7 are not allowed to play out.

It's hard to know who (if anyone) IBU without more details about what exactly the kid is expected to do. However I have an 8 year old who, god love her, takes the absolute piss with these kinds of things. Homework doesn't get done, toys don't get tidied up, unless I set really firm boundaries. With this type of child sometimes the consequences of not doing what they're asked when they're asked is the only thing they'll actually understand. I'd guess there's every chance that this kid was repeatedly encouraged to get the heck on and do his chores before his friends called round and he failed to listen....

I'm curious OP if kids aren't held to some sort of standard and expected to take responsibility for themselves and the world around them how do you think they learn this? Childhood should absolutely be protected and nurtured but this doesn't mean children should never have to work hard for something or be held accountible for their actions.

I don’t personally do this but I don’t think it’s a wrong thing to do, have times when all the family cleans the house together.

Mind do have chores but they aren’t hugely time sensitive, as in we don’t all have to be doing them at once.

I think it’s important that everyone helps to clean and tidy, even toddlers. Saturday morning was our set time for doing a lot of housework and everyone had to help.

His parents sound very sensible.

When I was 9, I would wash up after dinner, fold laundry, empty the bins, vacuum and help rake the leaves in the garden, as well as tidy my room and put all my own laundry away. That was all unsupervised too.

You seem to think it’s cruel and its not down time from school.

Do it right and it’s quality family time. You can get good conversation while doing housework together. Key bit there being together.

Primary school was great fun. Don't tell me you wouldn't jump at the chance to hang out with your friends whilst learning for a week.

I want to have some fun and downtime too, and I haven't been playing with my mates all week.

I mean, my son is three, so he just understands helping lay the table, vacuuming and putting things he's stained in the wash, but if everyone pitches in, everyone gets to play faster.

My dc had age appropriate tasks and always had to tidy their rooms. I was however, flexible on when they had to do them.
If they were due to start a chore and they were asked to play I'd let them go, on the proviso that they finished the task/did another when they came back.
Life is too short to miss out on fun and they are only young for a short time. Socialising when young is as important as chores imo.
Now they are fully functioning adults with their own homes.
If I'd started a task that could be left until later and a friend invited me out I'd be downing tools to go out too.