AIBU? Weird behaviour from a man towards me.

[mumlearningtorun]

Hey.

just for context, I’m 29 and my friends husband who I’m talking about is 39. My friend is 35 and my husband is 33. Just for context, it’s not really about age- but it might show some maturity / immaturity later on.

we used to all get on as a group, did lots together with our kids, even went on holiday - but since I got a promotion at work and gone full time again after my 2 children, my friends husband has really had a problem with me.

He’s turned really rude, and just not enjoyable to be around, actually very insufferable.

I am really bothered by a few things that I’m reading on Instagram, he seems to be digging at me indirectly & has even put something quite mocking up.

for example;

1. when I got oasis tickets via the ballot… he put a Instagram story up saying ‘it’s clear to see the answer to the question of ‘how many times have you seen oasis before via the ballot was 0!!!!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼’
2. I have started running, for my health - mainly mental health, and I’m running the marathon for my little boys charity ( he was born prem with a few complications ) - I put one progress picture online, proud of me.. and then he went out of his way, to clearly download a TikTok to add to this Instagram story, mocking runners…
3. the recent solar eclipse, I put a few pictures of my kids smiling with their eclipse sunglasses before it even started & the sunset after it happened online for family to see, and then we watched the whole thing via the glasses- not that I need to justify myself but half of my family are in Australia and it’s the easiest way to see eachother sometimes it was fallowed by another Instagram story, saying ‘why are people taking pictures and not watching the eclipse themselves?’

i just feel absolutely fed up with it, it’s like a knee jerk to everything I put up- he obviously has a bug bare and it’s clear he thinks women are beneath men. I can’t believe my friend married him. I don’t know if I am being unreasonable… but wtf, I’m more bothered why my little ( quite plain and normal )life is bothering him so much.

i feel like I can’t say anything because of my friend, but I really need want too. My husband is saying to delete him from seeing my stuff- but I just don’t want to let this get in the way of mine and my friends friendship.

my husband did say ‘is she even a friend if she’s seeing her husband doing this and not asking who it’s about and why?’ - but again, I think he’d mute her anyway!!!

ugh! Advice? Haha x

I’m glad you gave your ages in the OP as it sounds like you’re both 13. Sad.
sad that he posts in response to your posts but also sad you know that he posts in response to your posts and views your TikToks etc. Get a life. I thought you both had kids and jobs, act like it.

How about posting some weird/unusual things to flush him out?

The problem with your examples is they all have plausible deniability, you need to post something reasonably obscure to be able to convince anyone it's aimed at you if he posts similar content shortly after. For what it's worth I agree it's likely pointed at you but you've no "gotcha" evidence at this stage and your mate might not even have realised the connection between your posts and his

Does he have any other friends? Can you see if he is like this with other women or men and women? I’d screenshot everything, block him and then tell your friend why. The fact that he is responding so soon after you post would give me the willies as well as what he is saying. He sounds…. Icky.

Jealousy?

Put up a fake Instagram post of whatever dinner you cook tomorrow night night, saying "can't beat a (insert whatever dinner) on a Saturday night!"

30 minutes later if he posts about "why do some people feel the need to post what they're having for dinner online" then you know he's talking about you! 😂

I would block him so he can't see your photos. Is your profile set to private? I would not put photos of my kids online anymore given the use of images - in this case it's also another avenue for him to have a go at you. But really, if it's bugging you, don't put personal stuff on there for people to hate on.

Sounds like fan behaviour. Attention is what he wants so your best move is to not give it to him.

I’d block him from seeing your story’s. And keep the friendship mostly between you and your friend. Just ignore him, don’t ever click on or view his posts. That will bother him more than a confrontation

It sounds as if maybe he’s both jealous of you and your success (how dare a mere woman have interests and achievements outside of being a wife and mother), and also maybe doesn’t want his wife to get ideas above her station.
I can be petty AF so I’d enjoy winding him up even more to watch him stew!

You were after advice. Block
him

i think I would have some fun and test this- put up some random ludicrous posts and see what he does next?! Then block him. If nothing else you’ll have some fun and it’ll give you more evidence of your friend asks why you blocked him!!

He's just a bit of a knob isn't he?!

The Oasis thing might not have been directly to you, I saw loads of similar posts from people that couldn't get tickets criticising people that did.
I don't understand the tiktok download thing sorry!
And the eclipse thing is completely dickish. Are you sure he meant it just to you and not lots of his online friends? It's really not uncommon to take pictures of your kids watching this once in a lifetime event.
Don't know if you could even ask him if he's referring to you. I wouldn't, sounds like he'd love the chance of an argument with anyone.
Ignore as much as you can and pretend you haven't seen.

He's right though. No one cares how fast you can run the 5k or how "brave and inspirational" you are.

Either block him or stop posting about your non-achievements - problem solved.

Please Colleen rooney him.
Can you set it so only he can see your stories fir a couple of days then post 3 randomise things and see if he reacts.
But first chat to your friend face to face just you two. Its weird and uncomfortable. Do you think he could be jealous of your connection?

How do you even know he’s seen your stories? Because you are checking!!!

Stop posting here and block him already. Or do you enjoy the drama?

I think he's trying to get your attention.

Your social media activity is irritating this man. I believe you regarding the indirects. Those saying you are paranoid ,need to get a life,its not about you etc are gaslighting.
Having said that, blocking him is probably the only option to stop this.
If you block him and your friend or him ask why, i would say i was clearly irritating him from the things he posted so felt it best to block him.
Social media activity can irritate others .

Yes do this. Flush him out like pp said.

He sounds like an arsehole.

Block him.

Why are you checking who watches your stories? Block him from seeing your stuff and move on.

You are both being weird.

If you don’t want to block him on social media completely then set it so that he can’t view your stories/posts and you don’t see his. Then just avoid seeing him and just meet with your friend without her H.

Would you say he is a curmudgeon (has a critical view of the world)? Bright and cheerful people can easily annoy them. Could this be the problem?

You’re giving him power by viewing his posts. Stop following him - if you show you’ve seen and are affected then he’ll have won whatever pathetic game he’s playing. Unfollow and let him shout into the void.

He's just saying what anyone else is thinking about all the generic posts.if you actually did something interesting maybe you could say its about you but I doubt it very much