AIBU? Weird behaviour from a man towards me.

[mumlearningtorun]

Hey.

just for context, I’m 29 and my friends husband who I’m talking about is 39. My friend is 35 and my husband is 33. Just for context, it’s not really about age- but it might show some maturity / immaturity later on.

we used to all get on as a group, did lots together with our kids, even went on holiday - but since I got a promotion at work and gone full time again after my 2 children, my friends husband has really had a problem with me.

He’s turned really rude, and just not enjoyable to be around, actually very insufferable.

I am really bothered by a few things that I’m reading on Instagram, he seems to be digging at me indirectly & has even put something quite mocking up.

for example;

1. when I got oasis tickets via the ballot… he put a Instagram story up saying ‘it’s clear to see the answer to the question of ‘how many times have you seen oasis before via the ballot was 0!!!!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼’
2. I have started running, for my health - mainly mental health, and I’m running the marathon for my little boys charity ( he was born prem with a few complications ) - I put one progress picture online, proud of me.. and then he went out of his way, to clearly download a TikTok to add to this Instagram story, mocking runners…
3. the recent solar eclipse, I put a few pictures of my kids smiling with their eclipse sunglasses before it even started & the sunset after it happened online for family to see, and then we watched the whole thing via the glasses- not that I need to justify myself but half of my family are in Australia and it’s the easiest way to see eachother sometimes it was fallowed by another Instagram story, saying ‘why are people taking pictures and not watching the eclipse themselves?’

i just feel absolutely fed up with it, it’s like a knee jerk to everything I put up- he obviously has a bug bare and it’s clear he thinks women are beneath men. I can’t believe my friend married him. I don’t know if I am being unreasonable… but wtf, I’m more bothered why my little ( quite plain and normal )life is bothering him so much.

i feel like I can’t say anything because of my friend, but I really need want too. My husband is saying to delete him from seeing my stuff- but I just don’t want to let this get in the way of mine and my friends friendship.

my husband did say ‘is she even a friend if she’s seeing her husband doing this and not asking who it’s about and why?’ - but again, I think he’d mute her anyway!!!

ugh! Advice? Haha x

Your friend is unlikely to have noticed any correlation between your posts and his so I do think it’s a bit unfair to blame her on that front.
but yeah, rather than getting wound up, stop feeling the troll, block him and forget him

I’m pretty sure quite a few people ran the marathon, went to Oasis and watched the eclipse 🙄

Though it's tiresome when people just moan like this on social media, I do think that you have assumed all of this stuff is about you when it could just as likely be pretty generic.

Absolutely loads of Oasis fans reacted this way to the ballot on social media. Social media is also inundated with running pics and was with eclipse posts.

I don't think there's much evidence to suggest he's targeting you, unless there's more to the story. Certainly don't see what evidence there is in your OP of thinking women are beneath him? What does Oasis, running and eclipses have to do with women?

feel like I can’t say anything because of my friend, but I really need want too. My husband is saying to delete him from seeing my stuff- but I just don’t want to let this get in the way of mine and my friends friendship.

Just block him from your stories, very simple and straightforward. Not sure why you think this would affect your friendship, how would she even know you blocked her husband ?

It might not even be directly about you but more with his intolerance of popular feeds / stories, but he sounds like a grumpy shithead so I’d block and unfollow him anyway.

It’s ironic as lots of mutual friends have said ‘why does he dig you out?’ It always seems to come in line with anything I post about, and believe me - I don’t post a lot about other topics, but the ones I do- off he goes!

So block him then. Your making way more of an issue than it needs to be.
You have full control of your own social media and can decide who sees your stories and whose stories you see, no need for the angst when the resolution is right there at your finger tips.

Agree. There's no reason to give it any time of day.

Even if you don’t block him, stop watching his stuff. He’s doing it so you see it, so mute him so you don’t give him the satisfaction.

Your husband is right. Just block him.

Do you think his wife even knows? Do a Wagatha on him. Post something really bizarre that isn’t true without saying anything to anyone else then wait and see what he does. If he makes a post that’s clearly in reference to it then block him.

Well, you live rent free in his head, dont you?

The sensible thing would be to ignore him and block him and avoid him as much as possible.

None of those things are necessarily anti-women? The anti runners, anti insta posters thing is done against men, and by both men and women-lots of people on here complain about people posting.
The Oasis thing was said to be Xennials (Gen X and Millennials) gatekeeping-there was a whole load of comments about this.
So if anything, it seems more ageist than sexist, but if he does the same things towards Millennials, it's not any ism, just his view. Which you're free to ignore. If he's rude in person, call him on it.

You’re being paranoid.

Just block and ignore
Dont feed this attention seeker

Don't block him yet.

Start posting really unique stuff (for want of a better word) for a couple of weeks. It doesn't have to be true, get a photo off the internet or AI for it.

You've taken up crochet. You're wallpapering your house with that glitter wallpaper. You've just tried this cake and think you can be a baker. You're adopting a donkey. You're so proud of your kids interest in the lesser-spotted british caterpillar and think he might be the next Attenborough.

Really troll him with it. He either then knows you know he's doing it and that you think it's stupid, or he responds to these, and makes himself look even more like a tit (plus then your friend can't deny her husband is doing it). THEN block him.

I don't understand what 1 means? That people who entered the ballot have never seen Oasis live before? How would he know or care that's the case?

Either way if you find him rude and annoying just block him and don't socialise with him. You can see his wife separately.

Maybe ask her if she's noticed him treating you differently and why she thinks that is? But essentially it doesn't really matter. He doesn't have to be your friend.

I wouldn't really read too much into his comments tbh, but I suppose you know him and if you feel he's specifically targeting you, then maybe he is. I would just post more things to potentially wind him up. See what happens.

Don’t call him out, ignore. He won’t know you have seen it then which will make him look a bit stupid.

Block him and stop watching his stories, honestly, you both sound as bad as each other.

Block him and if your friend comments tell her at one dig you thought 'how.odd', at the 2nd dig you raised your eyebrows and at the 3rd dig you decided you couldn't be arsed with the dickish behaviour. Let her consider his attitude. Be distant but polite in real life.

How many mutual friends have said this to you? He’s not commenting on your posts - so I think that those ‘lots of mutual friends’ are even more bizarre to be cross referencing his posts and yours.

Post about how much you love sprouts. See what happens.

Two options -

a) block him
b) next time it happens message him and call him out on it

I'd be tempted to do this too. You're taking up juggling. You're finally coming clean about your love for Barry Manilow. You're learning how to play the spoons. Make it as niche as possible. Have fun with it, and then once he has truly made it obvious to all the world that he is a non, then block him.