To think Dsis is overeacting after SS hit niece?

[PapaSteel]

I've been with my partner for 8 years and we have dc together, he has a son from his previous relationship. He's 15 and not his bio son but he's been in his life since he was young and he sees him as his dad

Alot happened when we got together as his ex would tell SS that DP didn't want to see him anymore now he was dating me which wasn't true at all. She was physically & verbally abusive towards him and he's been living with us since he was 13 (after he told school about howHe has a lot of trauma and anger which school are supportive about and outside of school he gets help on how to manage the anger and he is a lot better than he was but the anger is still there so we are just patient with him

We're currently on holiday with my sister and her 2 dc and have been here since Monday. There was issues almost straight away as ss got angry at the claw machine but he and dp left the arcade and went for a walk to calm down as the arcade was busy so there was no way he'd have been able to calm down whilst in the arcade. My sister described him as a tantrumming toddler who didn't get his own way and said partner wasn't doing him any favours. I ignored her

He loves drawing and usually if you ask he will show what he's drawing but earlier he was at the table drawing and my niece (10) kept asking what he was drawing. He told her but she kept saying “show me show me” despite him saying no, she pulled his sketch book away from him which caused him to shout at her and she “accidentally” spilt her water on it. He was clearly very angry/upset and walked off to go to his room and she followed him and called him a baby, asked if he was going to cry etc, and he turned round and hit her and now he's being made out to be the bad guy

During this my sister was out with her other dc, my dp was in the shower and I was telling her multiple times to leave him alone and do something else even when she was repeatedly telling him to show her his drawing and she ignored me

My sister is now back and furious, she said she doesn't want her children to share a space with a “violent man”, and has even mentioned going to the police and social services on us if we're happy to have him around our children as he's not related to us when asked where he should go she just replied care

AIBU to think she's overreacting? I know SS shouldn't have hit her and he knows this too but she hasn't apologised for her part in deliberatly winding him up and sister says she doesn't need to as she's a child and he's nearly an adult

Really? So you would smack your child in the face if they accidntally/on purpose spilt something?
And of course we only have OP version of events. Which paints the younger smaller child as the villain to excuse/explain her child's behaviour.
This thread is gob smacking.

Um... no because I'm not 15. And of course we only have one version of events but that's always the case on MN.
I don't understand why anyone thinks a child of 10 is allowed to destroy something, not apologise and keep teasing the person they've upset. Maybe it explains why there are so many kids who think they can do whatever they want though.
I never said the 15 year old should be able to hit her but if she hadn't behaved so badly it wouldn't have happened.

Im so very glad that the majority of people on here dont understand how children with trauma can act. My mum died when I was 6 and my brother 8, he became a very angry child, where as I went the other way and became quiet. I remember my brother losing his temper and punching things. As with the OP he was told he was wrong and told off and apologised. I still as an adult spend a lot of time alone, my brother has calmed a lot.

Really? So you would smack your child in the face if they accidntally/on purpose spilt something?
And of course we only have OP version of events.

Well you seem to be making up your own version of events, regardless of what the OP said. No-one smacked anyone in the face in the OP's version.

Because her mother has already described this boy as a tantrumming toddler

So the daughter pursuing him and calling him a cry baby just shows what kind of role model she has

But the 15yr old can do what he wants? Including physical violence and aggression. 2 episodes here in 2 days?
Because of "trauma". Thats why violence against women will never end. Because its never the poor little lambs fault. They were always driven to it, had a hard life.
Jeezus.

Oh my God. Take a day off.

1. Literally no one is saying the 15 year old can ‘do what he wants’.
2. Neither aggression nor violence was mentioned when they were in the arcade. The OP said he felt angry and went for a walk.
3. Belittling a child’s experience of years of physical and emotional abuse by putting trauma in inverted commas and calling him a ‘poor little lamb’ is pretty grim, even on an anonymous forum. Are you also one of the posters who thinks the niece’s behaviour is ‘normal’? If so, I’m sensing a pattern.

I didn't say that, why not try reading what I actually said. Nowhere did I say physical aggression was okay and you are being very spiteful about someone who has suffered trauma not "trauma".

And violence against children (of which women are the main perpetrators) will never end as long as people keep making excuses for the poor struggling single mums.

We should be consistent with this rather than excusing women whilst claiming it's no defence for men. A young boy with an undeveloped frontal lobe has more excuse than a fully grown adult woman.

Ultimately, the person to blame for this boy's issues is an adult female.