AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

How ridiculous and immature of them. Honestly my mum would probably be the same, people can be absolutely pathetic.

If you don't smoke, would you let someone smoke in your house?

Do you don’t eat any vegetables or salad?

But it's still vegan

You are, by definition, pushing veganism if you won't relent. I am a vegetarian and have been for 40 years. No other family member is veggie so it's one big compromise (on both parts). Your folks won't suffer for the sake of one vegan BBQ, admittedly. They might even enjoy the array of yummy plant based burgers and sausages. Why not cook a few and let them try them in advance?

In the garden I would

So you eat meat for every meal? Yeah. Ok 🙄

Yes, because that was the food available to a child who most of us agree should not be left to fend for themselves. Now she is an adult with adult faculties and ethics, and she has a moral objection to eating meat and dairy which is produced through the torture of animals.

IME the kind of people who think parents are owed Respect just by virtue of being parents have either come from or built abusive families.

Just arrange another time for them to visit for a cup of tea and biscuits or something. Given their blinkered outlook and regimented meal routine, I can't imagine why you invited them in the first place.

I wouldn't.

I think this is true of most people!

Also even smokers don’t smoke in the house these days!

Bit ridiculous - what do you think it’s going to do? Make your grass smell?

Agree in the garden. Maybe that's the compromise the parents could eat in the garden, oh hold on it's a BBQ so the smoking thing isn't really a comparison.

Erm, I eat meat at every meal that I cook myself

I've no issues with vegans though and I'd happily go to a vegan BBQ.

You can smell it in the air - it's gross.

BBQ is the method of cooking: not the meat on it

i wouldn't eat any of that, but i'd just eat before and come along for a few drinks instead to be sociable.

I know that wasn't aimed at me, but aside from breakfast, yes. Every single day.

It’s not the best but presumably if these people are your friends and you know they smoke you have spent enough time around them to deal with it? Or are you one of those holier than thou people who make life difficult for smokers who are typically reasonably considerate and happy to move away from the group these days.

I have no skin in this game, I’m not a smoker. However I know smokers and I know that addiction is a complex issue that cannot be reduced down to “it’s bad for you so you shouldn’t do it” and that you can’t shame people into stopping. So I facilitate them being able to participate, and they in turn don’t blow smoke directly into people’s faces because they aren’t arseholes.

These (without the halloumi) are one of my favourite BBQ dishes and I eat meat - https://www.bbcgoodfoodme.com/recipes/tamarind-squash-halloumi-skewers/

Also corn on the cob on a BBQ is great!
And the usual vegetable skewers where people can choose which veg they want.

People evolve.
Most people respect that.
My lovely parents used to buy me Lego and we all used to play with it for hours.

Happy memories all round and they loved it as much as me.
When I was 50 they didn't expect to turn up at mine on Sundays with a box of Lego.

You have children to watch them evolve as their own people, not stay the children they were.

1:- I don't go anywhere that permits smoking.
2:- I don't have any friends that smoke.
3:- I have family members that smoke. I don't visit their houses, and they don't smoke at mine.

It's a disgusting habit.

People used to dismiss veggie and vegan as rabbit food.
But some posters' diets sound very much like what my dog eats.
Can't be healthy.

I wouldn't enjoy a vegan BBQ. I've read your menu, and I would be starving at the end of the meal and farting like a trooper for 24 hours afterwards. I would go home and have a proper meal.

Why won't you cater for meat eaters? Meat eaters would cater for vegans.

I don't know why it's so hard for people to comprehend why some people don't want meat in their house, let alone have to cook it or handle it.