AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

Think a little bit about v. sausages, skewers etc

Well a salad or larger pots usual sides is one thing. But close to December you will see posts on here from people strong armed into making vegan mains and desserts eg meat loaf and cakes for their vegan family.

Double standards is individual behaviour tho. I am a picky eater and let my hosts know (they all ask) so I return the favour and run my meal plans by my guests as well.

I have never once accepted an invitation to dinner or a BBQ at someone's house based on the food being served. If I like and value the people who invited me, I will attend if possible. Because any get-together is mostly about getting together. If I like the food, great. If not, I'll eat something when I get home.

It amazes me that people would actually turn down at invitation to meet up with friends or family solely because they prefer different food.

Honestly, these threads always go the same way, OP (see the threads about vegan/vegetarian meals being served at weddings), but no you are not being unreasonable to expect your parents to eat the BBQ food you prepare. It sounds like they are trying to make a point.

And no, serving a meal prepared from ingredients that are probably mostly part of their diet anyway is not the same as you being served meat at someone's house when it is against your belief system. You wouldn't rock up to someone's house who has religious beliefs meaning they won't eat pork with pork chops and bacon and insist that it's not a proper BBQ without bacon. Why are your beliefs not worthy of respect?

Sadly, people love to bash vegans. And no, I'm not a vegan.

If they hadn't have FED her, they would have been prosecuted for neglect. They weren't doing her a huge favour.

OP's parents sound very old fashioned in their views about veganism. They seem to think that meals should be meat and two veg and aren't willing to even try OP's food out of politeness.

I thought you were going to say your parents were refusing to cater a vegan BBQ (which I could understand).

Refusing to attend an event at yours and eat vegan on one occasion that happens to be a BBQ ,makes them unreasonable, not you.

How do vegans like the OP cope in their daily lives if they are DISTRESSED at the side of seeing someone eat a ham sandwich?

This is the point I tried to make earlier, people (me included) go out of their way to accommodate their vegan / vegetarian guests. But a MN vegan can't/ won't accommodate the wishes of their non vegan guests- even if they offer to bring their own food. All because it's against their beliefs/ morals or whatever. And nope, vegan is not a religion like some on this thread like to use as comparison.

People have such narrow views of food.

This poster says she doesn't like salad as though salad is one set thing rather than a mix of anything you do like. If you think salad is always lettuce, tomato, cucumber and a spring onion then you're not thinking about food very hard.

She does say she likes fruit and carrots though.

Here's a nice recipe for Fruit and Carrot Salad. https://www.food.com/recipe/fruit-carrot-salad-78748

Could they not just stop off at a drive in place on the way home for some recovered meat shaped into circles?

Lol, that's a minimum requirement for the children they chose to have.

I've never been on a Vegan thread before, I'll probably avoid in the future, although has kept me entertained 😂 For reference, I serve, meat, vegan, vegetarian, halal and avoid fasting periods, so I can ensure all my guests are welcome and happy.

I wouldn't eat raw carrot, only cooked ones with dinner.

There’s a pair of you in it.

They are being unreasonable about the nutrition gap, but you are being unreasonable not allowing them to bring their own food if they want to and “not having it in the house”.

Really? they’re not asking you to eat it.

Why not just accommodate them with a steak or something rather than being difficult? I often provide a dreary veggie (haven't done vegan) option if I would rather they attend than not.

Do they really eat meat everyday?. I thought even non veggies have non meat days.

Thank you, I was trying to phrase this but failed. I couldn't eat most of this lovely barbecue without raging indigestion. It sounds delicious but I couldn't eat it. I'm a bit older so perhaps your parents are the same. (Never eaten tofu, I admit.)

As I say. People have such narrow views of food.

I'm not sure all people think about it that much, meat free Mondays kind of stuff.

I reckon the OP happily gobbled down the non-vegan food her parents provided for her when she was growing up. She knows their preferences but now chooses to be all mealy-mouthed about it. (And them.) Like I said, total disrespect

This is a full on stand they are taking against your veganism tbh… ignore it and enjoy your bbq and DO NOT cook food or allow food you’re not comfortable with just to please others (who you’ve kindly invited over)!

Just say they can have baked beans on toast! Dd2 and her dh are vegans and it doesn't bother me eating vegan at theirs.

How long have you been vegans? Its taken my Dad about 8 years to accept it's not just a phase, and he still cuts in and tells waiters "oh look out, she's fussy" in restaurants but there's always mysteriously a pint of Oatly in the fridge when I go visit him now 🙂

This is horseshit. 👍🏼

My parents definitely eat meat every day (in their 80s) but we probably have about 3 meat free days a week (in our 60s). Its just because we also like some vegetarian/vegan food not for ethical or health reasons.