AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

Would you expect a Jewish family to serve you pork because that’s your preference?

@godmum56 I have never seen that opinion expressed on MN. Maybe I missed it.

you might just read different threads

It does. I've answered it multiple times on this thread. It's the most boring argument against veganism. You are saying people shouldn't go vegan because it kills animals. Which is v ironic. You think only vegans eat crops? You are ignoring the fact that the majority of soy production goes to feed animals and a huge amount of other crops too. It's so simple to understand it beggars belief that people still trot this argument out. But here we are.

If animals being killed in crop agriculture upsets you so much then the only reasonable thing to do would be to go vegan. You would save many more animals from these crop deaths and associated farming incidents plus you would save the animals you aren't eating. It's a no brainer.

You do sound passionate about this, so if I take this in good faith I suggest you look into it further and do reach out if you need any support.

If that was the only substantial food I eat, yes... as it stands, there is plenty of other meat that a Jewish friend could serve so your example is pointless.

Well I wouldn’t put a vegan through the disgust of preparing something with animals products. And that’s me!!

I eat everything. I’m not fussy and I also don’t have any dietary constraints. I love a juicy steak oozing with blood and a slow cooked pork belly. However, surely meat storage and prep would be a bit traumatic for some vegans?

I guess I’m referring to tolerance of other people’s ethic boundaries. I’m tolerant of the fact that eating meat would be crossing an ethical boundary / dietary constraint for a vegan. Whereas for me, eating vegan food isn’t crossing any boundaries for me (it’s just a bit disappointing).

Zoologist here. Yeasts are not animals by any classification. They are neither flora not fauna. Yeasts come in many various species and belong to the Fungi kingdom (which also includes mushrooms and molds). Yeasts are fungus. They have never been part of the Animalia kingdom (animals) and they can be eaten by people who follow vegetarian or vegan diets.

I'm vegetarian but most of my friend's aren't.

I love them and respect their choice even though it's not mine. I can't and don't want to control the whole world but I can control what happens in my own little house. That's fair isn't it?

Well it was a thanks as on thanks for your response but please fell free to keep showing your nasty character and inability to debate facts rather than attack and abuse the poster

If you’d posted a thread about how your parents were insisting on being cooked a fat juicy steak in your vegan household, you would receive a load of comments advising that if your parents aren’t happy to eat a vegan BBQ, then they’re free to not attend. Yet here you are posting about your parents giving the BBQ a miss and people are calling your parents “ridiculous”.
They don’t want to go to a vegan BBQ and that’s fine. Yes, it’s ok for meat eaters to have meatless meals, but they don’t want to. It’s not a big deal, just get together another time.

And OP, you say you offered them just drinks but they “keep saying” it’s at a mealtime. You know that they are set on their mealtimes. So why do they need to repeatedly tell you no? You’ve even called yourself “vegan BBQ drama” 😂 it’s not a drama, let them be and accept their choice.

My mistake, it was a thanks. But I don't think you'll convince many people it was meant in any other way than sarcastically.
If you genuinely think I have been nasty or attacked you, then please report to MN because that is not allowed. But is seems to me that posters who say this are doing nothing other than playing the victim.
As for debate - put some facts up! It's just your bias at the moment.

And perhaps you'd consider replying to the pp who has demolished your argument about crop farming.

I'd be really upset if my parents behaved like that. Making what they eat more important than seeing me. Awful behavior.

Your BBQ sounds lovely and your parents are very rude. To those saying just add a bit of haloumi would you ask Jewish /Muslim eople to just add a bit of bacon!

But tolerance is also to allow the non vegan to bring their own food. Something OP has decided.

You make it sound that like the negatives here only belong to vegans and vegetarians.
Most meat eaters also eat field crops.
Being veggie or vegetarian is the least worse option.

You talk about stunning as though it's a harmless thing for the animal. You don't mention the lead up to stunning. The transporting, waiting, abattoir experience of the animal.

Nor do you mention organic farming which has less impact on insects and less harmful run off.

☆declined

Ok soy isn't used for most animal feed in the uk as its too expensive vs the grass/hay and pea pods feeds that our dairy herds eat so no crops grown just to feed our cattle and again your using American stats and data.
As for the number of animals and insects killed by farming for vegans vs meat eaters its the vegans that cause more death.
I am not the one claiming that its more ethical to be vegan due to animal harm/death caused by eating meat, I'm just pointing out the false premise.
Please dont try and convert me to your cult im happy eating locally sourced meat and veg from organic farms that use proper crop rotation including fallow/grazing cycles so dont rely on pesticides and fertiliser and no crops are grown to feed the animals i eat.
Perhaps you need some support to understand that you are labouring under a false premise that veganism is good for the environment and causes less death

Seriously? How would the OP feel if her parents did the same to her?

Look im not reporting your posts because I think other posters should be able to see your posts and your character.
Which poster "demolished " my arguments because I've responded ti every post I've been quoted in.
As for your assumption of sarcasm that says more about you than me especially when you defend abilist attacks as I made you angry by posting things you disagree with.
As you arent posting in good faith I wont be responding to you anymore

While I appreciate it’s completely your choice to be vegan and think it’s great if it suits you, there is absolutely nothing on that list that I would actually consider a meal. I eat meat and meat is a main. All you have listed is sides and tbh the vegan burgers sound absolutely rank. I would eat a bit of veg kebab and a bit of mushroom ( on the side of a meat dish) and that’s it. That’s not a meal. That’s a side dish without the meat. So I’d be passing too.

You are a shit friend /family member if you refuse an invitation to a social event on the basis that the food doesn't come up to your standards.

Do your parents actually know what vegan food is?

@Hoardasurass Ahem

Surge, which admittedly is an animal rights organisation, says: "60 percent of soy imported to the UK goes to the poultry sector."

More details here from AIC, the UK's agricultural supply industry's leading trade association

AIC | FAQs: Feeding livestock with soya - why is it important and how sustainable is it?

Just because you say I'm being nasty and attacking you and that you weren't being sarcastic and that I'm not posting in good faith... doesn't make it so.
And if you can't see that your argument have been demolished and that you have produced zero facts to back up that argument, then to quote you,
that says more about you than me.

Are you saying that there are human beings who never eat anything other than meat, dairy and eggs?

The point is that most non-vegans, including myself, will eat a variety of vegan foods without even noticing it most of the time. Because plant based foods are part of any normal healthy human diet. Unless you genuinely can't eat anything other than meat/dairy/eggs for health reasons and/or ethical reasons - both of which seem quite unlikely - then you can eat vegan food. And you probably do eat lots of vegan food on a daily basis, without necessarily labelling it as such.

Most of the negatives do belong to vegans and then vegetarians because of the volume of arable crops needed for their diet.
True organic farming uses animal waste as fertilisers and true crop rotation uses fallow/grazing cycles that cant happen without the cows and sheep.
As for the distress caused to animals around slaughter time that really does depend on the abottior used and whether its halal or animal welfare compliant which is why I wont buy halal.
Look no diet is without harm but we should be trying to minimise that harm and veganism isn't the paragon of virtue that most vegans claim, instead its one of the worst out their especially when it comes to fake meat and dairy products that many vegans eat