Husbands behaviour on holiday WWYD - sick of it

[encour]

5th day of our holiday today. DH insisted we book onto an activity starting at 730am. We both got about 2 hours sleep last night (combination of heat, jet lag and adjusting to time zone).

Dragged myself out of bed this morning, got ready and got to activity. Did it willingly even though it’s not my thing at all. DH was being short with me, which I kind of understand as he’s tired, but he said I was in the way of someone else waiting to do the activity, when I was actually doing the activity - he said ‘your in the way” and it was my turn!!!!). I backed off, and walked away and he said to me oh here we go this again, let’s not do this. Thought I’d just shut up and get on with it because we’re on holiday.

Tried just chatting on the way back from the activity but got one word, blunt answers so gave up.

Then he wanted food, but said the heat had made the lunch I prepared and packed for him “go bad” (we’d been out 1.5 hours and it was in a cool box) so he wanted to go out. I asked where he wanted to go. He was looking, getting really irritated and saying he was hungry, I told him to pick anywhere and I’d go with him. He said I needed to pick - but I wasn’t hungry? I said honestly anywhere. He got offended when I just wanted a small plate and was huffing and puffing.

Then we saw a place of worship (my religion, not his) and I asked if it was ok if I went in. He came with me. I was looking at the altar and he pointed something out, but I couldn’t see it, he was getting really irritated and then physically pushed my head down to see it. I told him not to do that, and turned around and saw a group of people looking at us, could feel the tears coming but held them back.

Then he was complaining about everything and I said I’m happy to do what you want to do, which attracted eye rolls.

Because of the heat he’s asked to come back to the villa. Now he’s being really nice asking for a cuddle whilst he naps?

WWYD? I’ve got another 3 weeks of this. Had doubts before the holiday about the relationship (too long to go into), but the head pushing feels very nasty. He’s got form for this on holiday, telling me I was wearing local dress wrong and pulled an item off me in front of onlookers.

He sounds awful. Based on this alone I wouldn't like to be in a relationship with someone like this.

Well he sounds like a Prince OP. I’d be giving him the “if you ever do xyz again we are over” conversation (but in truth if a partner pushed me head or grabbed my clothing like that it would be over anyway)

Why are you still with this man? No way would I do an activity that started at 7.30 am. But that's only one thing. He sounds controlling and just downright nasty.

You need to leave him my love.

I wouldn't want to be with this man. He doesn't act like someone who even likes you. Is it an option to leave him now? Longer term, maybe it's a question of getting through the holiday and making longer-term plans to leave him.

Sounds chilling. Pushing my head towards something? That would be the end. Please don't tie yourself up in pretzels trying to please him. Lay down some boundaries and expectations for the holiday and leave after that. Sounds like you don't have kids - thank the lord and get out.

He sounds very angry with you, even though you’re doing nothing wrong. You’ve said there’s another 3 weeks to go. Can you book a flight home online and sort a taxi to airport for yourself. Just go now, if at all possible.

No one should live like this. You sound frightened of him. I’d just go home and plan my departure.

Sounds like you took a child with you, not your DH. He whinges about being tired, hungry , gets pushy when he's annoyed and wants a cuddle while he naps? When you get home why don't you dump him and find a proper adult instead Op

Omg, this is the guy that pulled your head scarf off in the street isn't it?! I remember your thread before because it was so shocking.

He's horrible and abusive OP. An absolute arse. I'd honestly, truly, be booking a seperate hotel room, leave him, and do whatever the fuck you want for 3 weeks.

OP, do you have the funds to pay for separate accommodation? If so, then I would do just that, and then when you fly home, leave this appalling, controlling piece of shit. Please DO NOT continue this relationship, life is incredibly short, DON'T WASTE IT!!

What would you tell a relative or friend in this position to do?

Im so sorry this is happening to you.
I dont want to cause you more distress as it sounds like you're on your way to ending things already, but the head pushing is a big red flag for violent behaviour.
Getting rid of him will make your life better - chase that path. You deserve better than what he will ever be capable of giving you.

He is horrible and a bully

Me ex (note ex) always always created an argument on holiday, usually about nothing but he'd change the narrative to suit the brief so he could give me the silent treatment . I, like a complete fool, would cajole endlessly until he deemed me suitably apologetic for my gross misconduct. Thank god I am out if it. My stronger self would urge you to ignore and get on with your holiday but sadly, i never took my own advice. Don't be me.

Absolutely.

What would happen if my DH pulled an item of clothing off me telling me I was wearing it wrong? He would experience my knee forcefully making contact with his testicles .

But I wouldn’t need to, because he’s not a dickhead.

He sounds awful. I think you're under reacting to him pushing your head down, that's physical abuse.

Shoving your head is assault ??
if you were there and a stranger came along and shoved your head it would be an assault

Yes - he’s the ultimate man child. He’s basically a preschooler having a tantrum.

You really don't have to put up with this shit, OP. Leave him and be happy.

Divorce before you have kids

I thought of this guy too. Leave him, OP. Come home, and cut all ties.

Is it somewhere you could happily take yourself off for the day ? If so I would say due to grumpiness and not wishing to spend your holiday arguing/rolling eyes you'll nothing do your own thing in thre day and meet up later to eat/drink/chat etc.

But if you think this is the end of the relationship, I'd pack up and go home.

He is a very nasty piece of work.
What are you doing with him?
Can you get out of there?
Can you pack and leave?

Be glad you don't have children.
He sounds like he wants to hurt you, and is trying to do so covertly.

Its only a matter of time before he will.

He sounds appalling, OP. So many red flags...

I very rarely say this, but I think you should leave the bastard.