Husbands behaviour on holiday WWYD - sick of it

[encour]

5th day of our holiday today. DH insisted we book onto an activity starting at 730am. We both got about 2 hours sleep last night (combination of heat, jet lag and adjusting to time zone).

Dragged myself out of bed this morning, got ready and got to activity. Did it willingly even though it’s not my thing at all. DH was being short with me, which I kind of understand as he’s tired, but he said I was in the way of someone else waiting to do the activity, when I was actually doing the activity - he said ‘your in the way” and it was my turn!!!!). I backed off, and walked away and he said to me oh here we go this again, let’s not do this. Thought I’d just shut up and get on with it because we’re on holiday.

Tried just chatting on the way back from the activity but got one word, blunt answers so gave up.

Then he wanted food, but said the heat had made the lunch I prepared and packed for him “go bad” (we’d been out 1.5 hours and it was in a cool box) so he wanted to go out. I asked where he wanted to go. He was looking, getting really irritated and saying he was hungry, I told him to pick anywhere and I’d go with him. He said I needed to pick - but I wasn’t hungry? I said honestly anywhere. He got offended when I just wanted a small plate and was huffing and puffing.

Then we saw a place of worship (my religion, not his) and I asked if it was ok if I went in. He came with me. I was looking at the altar and he pointed something out, but I couldn’t see it, he was getting really irritated and then physically pushed my head down to see it. I told him not to do that, and turned around and saw a group of people looking at us, could feel the tears coming but held them back.

Then he was complaining about everything and I said I’m happy to do what you want to do, which attracted eye rolls.

Because of the heat he’s asked to come back to the villa. Now he’s being really nice asking for a cuddle whilst he naps?

WWYD? I’ve got another 3 weeks of this. Had doubts before the holiday about the relationship (too long to go into), but the head pushing feels very nasty. He’s got form for this on holiday, telling me I was wearing local dress wrong and pulled an item off me in front of onlookers.

He's a nasty piece of work, I so hope you haven't had children with him.

He may be an adult but he's not acting like one. He sounds hard work, hard to be around and really really not very nice. Sorry OP.

Oh he hates you doesn’t he ?

You need to fuck him off and now,

See if you can gert another hotel room away from him.

Who the fuck is he to put his hands on you/ Major red flags.

Suggest he does his thing a day out or something when he is gone go to your room and pack your bags. Get a flight home and soon as. Go straight to a solicitor.

Drop him like a stone the minute you get home.

He sounds like a toddler with poor emotional regulation. The difference is that a toddler doesn't act out to punish other people. And now he wants a cuddle while he naps FFS. He'd give me the ick at record speed.

You are married to an arsehole determined to put you down and spoil everything you do together. Stop trying to please him. If you can't leave early and come home I would plan to have the holiday you want without asking his permission, it sounds like you'll have more fun doing things on your own.

I get the impression you have spent a very long time trying to keep the peace with this man but you can have reliable guaranteed peace without him.

No, Now.
Do Not do 3 weeks of this Abuse.

You are still with this man even though he has abused you in the past and sadly you have more of this behaviour to look forward to, and the violence will escalate.

Right ok. He is abusive and clearly has you under his control. Getting up at 7.30am on holiday just for him? Seriously why are you on holiday with this abuser?

When you do leave him, the sense of relief will be earth shattering. You just don't realise that at the moment. Don't waste any more time walking on egg shells.

He sounds like a nasty bully

YANBU

I hate when someone is tired/hungry etc and takes it out on other people.

Of course you can’t always help it but you at least try and be upbeat. You are tired and hot too.

Both of you need a decent sleep.

See how things are tomorrow and if you can enjoy the rest of the holiday.

Then once you’re home you can make a plan to leave.

No, that's an awful thing to do to anyone. Your doubts about your marriage are valid. Go home and leave him to it.

He needs to become your ex.

Please get out and take measures for your safety. He sounds on the edge of dangerous.

3 weeks? whose idea was this? this is a grown man with behavioural problems
OP and seeing as you ask - if it was me, I would abandon him and holiday and
fly home if it is possible. Where are you ? even in somewhere wonderful you will
be on edge and placating him.

This does not sound like a mutually beneficial relationship OP😕

Do yourself the biggest favour and divorce him. You deserve so much better than to be treated so badly by this bully. Put as much space between you as possible, grey rock him and get your ducks in a row asap. Best wishes for a new and better life away from him x

If you are frightened of him, come home immediately. Or even if you just want to!
If you want a bit of holiday then stop accommodating him and just tell him what you are or are not willing to do. Say I’m going to do this, are you going to do your own thing or are you coming. If he gets nasty, then one warning and you are out of there. Make sure you know where your passport is at all times.
Tbh I think I’d just come home.

I think I remember you posting previously about your husband pulling a headscarf off you when on holiday, because he said you weren't wearing it properly and everyone on MN told you to LTB then? It doesn't sound like things have improved and you've gone on holiday with him again. So still LTB.

@encour what he did to you in YOUR place of worship is UNFORGIVABLE! He did it because he is trying to piss all over something that you hold sacred. He has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever. You must get out and quickly! Please don't waste any more time with him, you deserve so much better 💐

ETA: I also remember your thread about him pulling the headscarf off your head in public and also found that shocking. How many more times will you put yourself in this position?

Who the fuck has voted she’s being unreasonable?! He’s vile, abusive and a bully.

Get out - if necessary stay somewhere else first to get some sleep - then get a flight home without him. Get your passport, phone and purse and just go.

this thought should have stayed in your head, a dreadful remark (if she has)

You poor thing, that is downright disgusting behaviour from someone who professes to love you. If you have understanding friends and or family, call them when your partner is out of earshot as you’ll need the emotional support. Tell them that you’ve only just arrived and already you’re having a shitty time of it due to no fault on your part. Call Woman’s Aid or Refuge as they will be able to support and advise you what to do going forward.

He’s isolated you and this situation is only going to get worse. Perhaps have a friend or family member urgently call you with ‘bad news’ ‘death in the family’ ‘emergency’ and you have to cut your part of the holiday short. Get the next flight home and leave him to it. Or have a suitcase secretly packed and after he’s gone for a walk on the beach or whatever just leave. No warning. No explanation. Just go. You do not owe this ‘person’ anything.