Worried about GCSEs

[alevelbtec]

I can't sleep at night as worried about teen dd and her results. She failed all her mock exams except English. I want her to do A Levels and go on to University like most of my family but I don't think she will be able to. I am really panicking about her future. AIBU!? I think it's effecting me more, she pretends she's ok or maybe she isn't I don't know.

Why did she fail her mocks?

There's nothing you can do about it now. If she has failed her GCSEs then she's clearly not cut out for university so it's a waste of time thinking about it.
University is only worth it for academically able children. Otherwise it's a huge waste of money with no tangible benefit and the person would learn and earn far more going into an apprenticeship.

I don't know, she said she tried her best and did revise.

Why do you think uni is the best route for her?

Theres increasing evidence it isnt worth the cost for many students. Someone struggling to pass GCSEs is likely to end up on a low value course at a poorer institution and then be paying the debt back for 45 years.

University is expensive and shouldnt really be the default unless you are very academic & looking at courses that really pay back, like medicine and engineering.

Theres more to success than Alevels abd University.
There are loafs of different options available at 16 these days.

Well really that's all you can ask. Try to manage your own anxiety, and know that there are many paths to success, not all are academic. She can retake at college maths and do a level 2 or 3 course in something she enjoys. If she struggles academically then a-levels may not be the most appropriate next educational step.

Take her to your local college and let her enrol on a course in something that interests her, at the appropriate level.

Why is this all about you? Does she want to do A levels? Does she want to go to university?

she tried her best that’s all anyone can do. When she gets the results you can help her decide what she wants to do next.

A child that fails all their mocks (unless there is known good reason) is not going to be going on to do A Levels at this point.

This is your DD's future. It is not yours. She doesn't need the weight of your expectations on her - it's not for you to "expect" that she follows a certain path.

You can't do anything about the exams now, so wait until the results come out and make a considered plan (with DD leading, and you supporting) based on that. Do not push her into A Levels if that isn't what she wants.

What does she want to do? Is she more worried about taking a different path or disappointing you?

I was the least academic in my family and my parents felt that university was the only option and were really snobby about those who didn’t go that way. The pressure was immense and I had to choose an ‘easier’ degree to make them happy. If I had my time again I would have gone down a vocational route.

So many people don’t go to university- it’s not an issue.

Depending on results she may be much better off doing a Level 3 BTEC (or T-Level) or starting at Level 2 or even Level 1. You can go to uni with BTECs.

I hope she has plans B and C in place as well as your plan A.

Like others have said, A levels and Uni aren’t the only route in life. Apprenticeships backed up by a college (so she can still get qualifications) are an excellent option. Don’t panic it’s not worth it (and she will sense it), and it’s important for her to know you’ve got her back no matter what her results are.

Why does she need to do A Levels and go to University?

Also, what do you mean about failed her mocks? Failed as in U or got 3s and 4s?

If she failed her mocks she should absolutely not do A levels. I got mostly A*s at GCSE and if it wasn’t for one incredibly patient teacher dragging me over the line I never would’ve finished.

There’s so many other options. Don’t make her have to deal with that.

I agree with this, it sounds like this is all about you and what you want, not what she wants. Just because most of your family have been to university doesn’t make her a lesser person if she doesn’t go.
Presumably she’s already looked into sixth forms or colleges in the last few months? Here where I am you won’t get any kind of sixth form offer if your mock grades aren’t good enough so she would already have applied for a college course. That doesn’t mean that she can’t do well and still go on to uni in future as long as it’s what she wants not what you’re pushing her into.

Op these comments are unfairly dismissive

It's not at all true that failing mock GCSE's at 15 years old means you aren't cut out for further study. People mature at different ages - and more importantly I think - some kids are not genralists,. I wasn't.

I did very poorly at GCSE - only passed 5 in the end thought I was very good at one subject - so that pulled me through perhaps.

It was a poor load of results though - D's C's and an A. I just about scraped into doing A levels - where i did MUCH better because I could drop all the subjects I struggled with. I really kicked myself into gear at about 17 and did well - I went on to university where I also did well.

I am in a professional job now that you would need a degree for -

Please don't give up on your daughter as everyone here seems to suggesdt - does she have interests in particular subjects? could she focus a bit more on those and you can look at how she can go on to study them later?

Of course UNi is not for everyone but i'ts also wrong to write kids off at 15 as not academic. Because of our boring far to wide and dull cirriculum.

Hello,
I’m a teacher so will give some helpful info here. If your DD has failed her mocks, I’m guessing you mean grade 3 or lower (though technically a fail is not getting a grade). Assuming she makes 2 grades progress which is great, she’ll be looking at Grade 5’s. Please don’t go onto A-level with these grades. Although some schools do allow this (including the one my kids went through) it sets them up for a horrible time at sixth form, endlessly failing, resitting tests and exams and at best, ending up with Grade E’s.
A much better way to stay in education is with BTECs. This will allow your daughter to access University, most likely a newer university which wants a points total rather than grades. See grade/points comparison here.
https://qualifications.pearson.com/en/support/support-topics/understanding-our-qualifications/comparing-btec-to-other-qualifications/btec-ucas-points.html
These newer Universities also offer Foundation years too, allowing entry for pupils with lower grades/points.

What subjects is she interested in studying?

I want her to do A Levels and go on to University like most of my family

I'd try and stop this thinking for a start. University isn't the be all and end all. I went to uni, my brother didn't. He earns about 3 times what I do.

University is just one path through life. Going to uni doesn't mean you'll be more successful, and it doesn't mean you'll be happier.

What does she want?
She can still go to university without doing Alevels if thats what she wants .

I didn’t do my A levels and still did university albeit in my 20s. What does SHE want and why is it all about what you want? She is her own person.

They are not dismissive
Just advising that doing Alevels is not the only route to university

Does SHE want to A-Levels and university?
That's the important question.

The A level route into further education or even a career is not for everyone and unfortunately too many go that route where it is completely unsuitable. It just delays them finding their real passion. Her future isn't defined by exams at 16.
Look at all the other options available. Find out what she really wants to do. Not what is expected. I'm biased. I went through the BTEC route and ended up with an honors degree, our children all went to university through a non traditional route. They all did really well because they were doing what they loved.

Obviously it depends on what course they you want them to do want to do at uni.My dd got only 4 'official' passes, the rest were Ds. She did a btec at college, got 2 distinction * and a distinction. Went to uni, got an upper 2nd, and now doing her masters. All is not lost.