Worried about GCSEs

[alevelbtec]

I can't sleep at night as worried about teen dd and her results. She failed all her mock exams except English. I want her to do A Levels and go on to University like most of my family but I don't think she will be able to. I am really panicking about her future. AIBU!? I think it's effecting me more, she pretends she's ok or maybe she isn't I don't know.

I'm a retired secondary headteacher. I've said more than once that if I were still in the job, I'd be doing a lot of work encouraging students to consider routes other than university - because the latter costs a lot of money and is increasingly not worth it.

I do agree that the costs and debt of Uni is extortionate but its also about the experience and people she will meet on that journey.

Are you joking? A self employed gas or heating engineer can make more money than a GP 🤣 Stop being a snob and pushing your own dreams onto her

You need to let your daughter do what makes her happy. If she wants to do hairdressing, id encourage that pathway. Everyone will always need their hair cut & styled and she can carry those skills with her throughout her life.
My eldest daughter was on a very low wage when she first left college, worked 6 days a week, saved hard & gained experience. That was 8 years ago. She now owns her own house and we too live in the SE!

You’re being ridiculous. Not everyone is suitable for uni. The sixth form in my town won’t let you do ann A level in a subject unless you get an 6 at GCSE. Accept that and start supporting her to find what she does want to do.

Don't write them off just yet. My child was getting 3s at the end of year 10. They worked their socks off and ended up getting 8s, 7s and 6s. Could have gone to do a levels but decided they had enough of classroom learning and went for a vocational role. Absolutely smashing it and comes home every day having the best time. Having a job you love is the best thing you can have.

I am the only one in my close fried group that went to uni and I'm one of the lowest earners.

I know you have this idea in your head where your child is headed but ultimately they need to make their own decisions about the path they want to take. Our role as parents is to support and guide not dictate.

Remember as well, they get 3 years funded at college. So you can have a year improving her L2 grades, then do a L3 course next year.

I agree with this opinion.
Why waste money and time on university education? Your DD will leave with a huge debt round her neck and not much to show for it. This happened to DD’s friend. She scraped a 3rd and is now looking at night shifts in a supermarket.

Apprenticeships are the way forward, for those who are less academic. Earn while you learn!

Op , have you asked your dd what she actually wants to do ?
Does she actually want to go to university ?
You are making this all about you

You can have plenty of experiences and meet lots of people for a lot less than 40 thousand pounds of debt 😁

There are other places to live?

Are you joking?? Why is hair dressing a low wage job? I mean yes, if she’s going to spend her working life making tea and sweeping hair. But eventually, if she’s good, she may own her own salon in years to come!

Social mobility? Means she doesn’t have to stay in the SE.

My husband did an apprenticeship rather than attend university, he’s an actuary.

This isn’t your future college course or job, so it doesn’t really matter what you want, the only important things are what your daughter wants and whether she can realistically achieve them.

Absolutely
My builder earns more than I do . I have a degree and two masters
If I had my time again I would probably have done something different

Your daughter isn’t academically able enough for those though by the sounds of things. Not everyone can be. You are being extremely unreasonable

Sorry OP, I think you may be living in cuckoo land. Sometimes you start low and work upwards. It’s called career progression. Even graduates with a 1st in their field, have to start somewhere!

I’m an accountant, you can join my firm as an apprentice and if you’re good enough then within 20 years you could have a role with an average salary of £800k - not bad before you’re 40.

But honestly, it doesn’t matter what you want. On the whole, anyone without the academic ability to even pass their mock GCSEs, even without revision but after 12 years of school, and who wants to be a hair dresser is unlikely to have the drive or ability to succeed at university and then in one of the uber competitive professions you’ve mentioned. She’s likely to be more successful and make more money doing something she’s good and at enjoys - there are plenty of well paid hairdressers! Why do you think she can’t aspire to owning her own hair salon? Or that that is less achievable than her being a well paid architect?

You want her to go to college and uni, but what does she want?

Op, if she ‘fails’ her GCSE’s your best bet is to not add to her stress by showing your disappointment . You will need to be her parent and look at what she can do .
If she loves hairdressing encourage her to do this
I think it is so wrong to force people into careers that they are not interested in

I'm not sure this isn't a trolling post?

There are legal apprenticeships which can lead to qualification as a solicitor so you do need to look at modern apprenticeships rather than just browsing.

My friend's kids all did apprenticeships, now 20's and early 30's and own their own homes in a pricy part of the country. I don't know any poor trades (who are good at their jobs).

A relative of mine was pulled out of grammar school by their very sensible (and also non academic parent) as it was making them unwell, they later got an apprenticeship and now out earn their very academic uni attending sibling.

As others have said, your views are very fixed and would seem to be unhelpful for your poor daughter.

Wow. Your attitude to awful op. Truly. Your poor dd must feel like a failure.

children who fail their mocks don’t become lawyers. That’s for the kids who get 7s+ with zero effort.

your dd tried her best.

parent the child you have.

she isn’t academic. That’s fine. Help her explore what is achievable.

your own ego could potentially ruin your relationship with your dd.

Do you realise you can become a fully qualified solicitor after a six year apprenticeship ! You have to do a levels but I don’t think you are up to date on modern day apprentice opportunities and are probably pushing her in the wrong direction. Unless she has mad a massive u turn in her GCSE’s very unlikely she’ll be able to do a levels . Surely the fact she was struggling was apparent before mocks ?

Your attitude stinks OP, sorry. As others have said, support your child with the pathway she wishes to enter. Not what YOU want her to do.

This thread has made me feel quite cross actually.

OP: It doesn't sound like you have taken any active part in her education up until now, if you've only recently realised that she's not A level material. You can't just assign your kids a role (AKA Gina Yashere mum: "You be the doctor"), and blithely send them off to school, with no further parental input.

What college places has she applied for? What grades does she need? What's available in your local area?

Take a look with her college courses in the local area that have more realistic entry requirements and help her find something that interests her.

Although ‘struggling’ is subjective. At the grammar school my dds go to, children were in tears if they got a 7, whereas at the comp down the road, there were posts of ‘Betty smashed it’ if they got a 6.