Worried about GCSEs

[alevelbtec]

I can't sleep at night as worried about teen dd and her results. She failed all her mock exams except English. I want her to do A Levels and go on to University like most of my family but I don't think she will be able to. I am really panicking about her future. AIBU!? I think it's effecting me more, she pretends she's ok or maybe she isn't I don't know.

So you think your daughter has the drive to become a lawyer/doctor/architect against all odds ( including that she doesn't want to do it) but not that she could eventually own her own salon, or even set herself up as self employed, setting up a mobile salon, working in film or creative industries?

I think her drive is earning a lot of money to get by in this world!!

My daughter failed all of hers it is honestly not the end of the world. The worry does get better after acceptance.

You can do sweet fuck all about the results now, the exams and course work were ages ago. Your panic and stress will not change the results she gets next week.

Doing A Levels and going to Uni isn't the only route to success and it isn't the best route for every individual and for every career path.

Her best bet in life is to study, train and work in something she's passionate about, interested in, and has the natural aptitude for or the resilience to improve through practice and learning and development.

Has she been previously a strong acadmeic student and something's gone badly wrong with her GCSE mocks? Is this a set one girl who's had a health set back or several unfortunate events (e.g. revising hard in one area of a subject only to turn up and the questions are all on a topic she's not revised) or has she always been in lower sets with lower grades and you're only just twigging that it might make things tricky for the vision and ambitions that you have for her life?

I've seen you poo poo apprenticeships but I know young people who are doing or are awaiting A level results before pursuing really good degree apprenticeships which are an incredible way to engage with higher education while still earning. The teens I know doing this are doing accountancy or engineering so they're going to come out with a degree and professional exams in those areas AND they'll have a good few years of work experience through their industry placements AND they're paid during the course AND their industry placement PAYS for their degree.

I also have a child in their late teens who left sixth form college before completing the course but went straight into a job which has hands on learning and they're on a really decent wage, with responsibilities for others, and with an ambition for using her skills and experience in this sector to travel the world as it's a job that can give that opportunity.

I've also seen you poo poo hairdressing as a career. If that's what your daughter LOVES and has an interest in, it's a great career to get started in and she doesn't have to do it forever and ever. I have friends who work in hair and beauty who have their own businesses, work flexibly, employ other people, have used the skill to travel abroad (e.g. working ski seasons, on yachts, for abroad weddings, for celebs etc). I know some who work in TV and film. It's not a one size fits all.

I've also got mates who did a more hands on and creative career but have retrained in their 30s or 40s with a degree to enter work in healthcare or teaching. Not everyone is in the best place for that level of learning at 18 but it doesn't mean that's their only chance to ever get a degree.

Not all children and young people are academic and that's fine. That doesn't mean that they don't have ambition and skills and potential.

Which GCSEs did she do? Were some stronger than others? What's her plan for next year? 6th form at school or at college or something else? AS / A Levels or BTEC or International Bacc or something else? I know at school 6th form (and at our local 6th form college), students are supported with resits for especially English and Maths.

What does your daughter want?

If shes not academic, shes not academic theres no point pushing her towards something thats not acheivable for hsr
Its just setting her up for failiure
Encorage her in what she wants to do.

Tradies earn far more than my sister does as an NHS doctor. The trades are some of the highest earners across the nation.

A-levels are designed for students who achieve at least grade 6 in a subject.

BTEC are aimed at students who achieve grade 4/5 in a subject.

You can go to uni with level 3 BTECs as they are equivalent of A-levels.

It sounds like your dd is unlikely to be a potential A-level student never mind uni. As she’s not academic, why would you encourage her to get into 60k debt?

Personally I’d be looking at the courses at your local college. She may not be off to uni in a couple of years but she might find some subjects that she’s good at and achieve some qualifications for a career. Studying for a level 2 qualification in the autumn wouldn’t be the end of the world that you allude to. Success doesn’t have to be uni and a traditional career like doctor.

Certainly the case where I am (also southeast). They earn very well, have lots of options variety wise. They’re unlikely to be replaced by AI. Don’t knock it out of misplaced snobbery or fear of what others will think. If you’re not really good at passing exams, medicine is not a good choice. Getting a uni place for medicine is hugely competitive and, believe it or not, there are plenty of medical school grads not getting jobs.

The question really is … what does your dd want to do?

100% this. There are all sorts of reasons why kids fail exams, not all to do with their ability. If she wants to go to Uni encourage and support her, if she doesn't then it becomes harder because she might not know what she wants to do.

Also worth remembering that far too many go to university now, so it's not as valuable as it once was, and many new graduates struggle to find jobs.

Perhaps an nvq at college would suit her better? Ask her what kind of job would she like to do. People’s hair, repairing cars, nails and beauty, plumbing, painting and decorating. Help her plan her career path. Not everyone is suited to a levels and university.

@Well that’s not enough if she doesn’t have the academic ability to do those jobs. Frankly if she’s failed all her GCSEs she would never pass the degree in medicine, architecture or engineering. She would simply fail or drop out. Although, tbh, she wouldn’t even be accepted onto the course. My sister had 9 A star at GCSE and A star x 3 at a level and was only accepted by one university for medicine. She came out of her degree looking like a truck hit her it was that hard.

Youd rather see her more than likely fail, resulting in debt and low self esteem than simply go into a trade and start earning?

I have a niece who owns a hairdressing and beauty salon (she’s early 20s) and earns a ton of money and loves her work. Hairdressers usually love their jobs. My neighbour around the corner (also a hairdresser, doesn’t own a salon, freelances) owns a house worth over a million so I think it’s perfectly possible to earn good money doing it. Whereas my partner trained as a lawyer and hated it so much he became thoroughly depressed and had to quit at 30. Maybe he should’ve been a hairdresser…

I think dental nursing is a Level 3 apprenticeship, so the same level as A Levels. What jobs are you seeing 18 year olds walk into that earn significantly above that?

Hint - maybe have a look at apprenticeships in finance, data, digital etc for ones leading to the sort of salaries you seem to deem necessary.

I left school with one O level, well CSE grade 1 in Art. I got a job in a care home and did GCSEs and A levels at FE college, my job also put me through qualifications in housing BTEC.

I went to uni and then teacher training. Not an auspicious academic career but I could barely write when I left school so reasonable progress!

I found school too full on and preferred doing adult education courses to learning (or not learning) in a classroom environment. Education is important but schools are for everyone.

I am dyslexic and couldn’t concentrate in school and was bored by it.

OP, if your daughter wants to go to university, she’ll go. Give her time to develop, not everyone is the same at 16.

Have you sorted out a college course if her results don’t come in? Get a plan B ready and relax, life offers many chances.

Well if she isn’t academically able then those careers won’t be achievable, so you’ll need to think about alternatives. What have you thought about and what plans have you ensured she’s made for what she does next?

I always said to my DS that he didn’t have to be the best so long as he did his best. If your daughter has done that then you should be proud of that firstly, and think differently about doing well. Then she needs to think about what she’s good at, and enjoys and then explore those options. Picking a career/path purely on salary is potentially going to end up with her either failing because he heart isn’t in it or she does it, earns well but is miserable.
I know what I would want for my child.

If she failed her mocks she’s obviously struggling academically. Please do not pressure her into A Levels or going to uni - especially to be a doctor or lawyer!

Have you looked at T Levels? They tend to be more vocational but would still be enough UCAS points if she decides university is for her in a couple of years time.

It does kinda sound like you’re more worried about what people will think, rather than what’s best for your daughter. You can’t fit a square peg into a round hole and all that.

My son did an engineering apprenticeship at 16 after getting GCSEs at grades A*, A, B. He has been in the higher tax bracket earning over £50k since his early 20s.

Neither of my step kids did a levels. One joined the military at 17, has done a load of BTECs and has the option of multiple degrees via OU (all paid for) and the other did an engineering apprenticeship and now works for a Formula 1 team building engines. Both are highly paid compared to many of their friends who went to university, most of whom have struggled to get graduate jobs and have massive amounts of debt from 3-4 years at uni. They bought homes in their mid 20s and have secure, interesting jobs.

My kids are younger but I certainly won’t be pushing for them to go to uni, irrespective of academic ability, unless their chosen career makes it an absolute necessity.

When you say she failed her mocks do you mean failed as in did not pass the exams or do you mean failed as in didn’t live up to your very high standards of what you feel she should be getting?

Doing a level 3 apprenticeship doesn't stop her going to university of that is what she wants to do. Just make sure the apprenticeship leads to a recognised qualification in a subject that could lead to a degree. It's not just trades but business and office based jobs too. Will she get grade 4 in English and Maths?

University is not for everyone and a vocational route might be a much better bet.

Take a look at apprenticeships in the NHS. Lots of opportunities for career paths - plenty of non-clinical roles.

Don’t try and force her into a path that isn’t right for her. Academic subjects test a narrow range of skills - which at the moment are her strong point. This might change and there are so many options for returning to education later in life.

What are the current plans for September? What entry requirements are there? Doing Alevels with an average GCSE less that 5 is very hard work and often leads to stressed out unhappy children. Ideally they should be getting 6s in the subjects they want to take forward and in some it is 7s (maths and sciences).

The other subjects are not less than, or not worthy (or writing her off!) they are structured and assessed differently, and give more options.

(There is nothing wrong with hairdressing! The world need hairdressers and even in the SE they can earn enough to live. Plus you can do fun stuff like get a job on a cruise ship and just where life takes her)

What are her strongest subjects? What were her mock results in those subject and what are her predicted grades? Having failed in her mocks what did she do, to improve her chances in the final exams? This is important. The step between GCSE and A level is massive. It’s not just the works harder, A levels require more independent learning and self discipline. If she was unable to massively step up. A gear between mocks and GCSE’s do you honestly believe that she will be able to cope with the demands of A level study? If not don’t set her up to fail, it’s not fair. Support her to make her own decision.